Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Picking the Right Vodka

1) Go to the liquor store.  Moonshine can be purchased from random people on the street.  The same can not be said of Vodka.

2) I am not picky.  Buy some shit that costs as much as a camping trip if you like, I'm going to spend $20 or less.  More like $13, honestly.

3) The vodka needs to be either 100 proof or 80 proof.  Truthfully, 80 proof is like settling for a field goal.  70 proof is a punt, anything less than that is a turnover.

4) The vodka needs to be on sale.  I repeat: I am not picky.  Having said that, I prefer something in a glass bottle and there will be some nifty sales.  If there are no sales, you are in the wrong liquor store.  Recalculate.

5) Avoid anything with any kind of flavor.  If there are fruits and berries on the bottle, it is not really vodka.  Vodka isn't supposed to taste like raspberries.  If you are looking for something that tastes like raspberries, I recommend that you start with raspberries.  Also: do not put any of your raspberries in my vodka.

6) Purchase vodka.  Go home.  Mix screwdriver.  Screwdriver should be composed of 3 parts orange juice and 2 parts vodka.  If you are working with a different recipe, you are making a Screwdriver Lite.  If that's the way you're living, you might as well throw some raspberries in the cup.


  1. Ok so just wanted to add this:

    I go with Tito's because well they make there vodka with corn not wheat or potatoes as some. Most cheap vodka is made with wheat - more expensive stuff is potato usually. Where this does not really matter to me -- my wife on the other hand is actually allergic to wheat / soy / lots of stuff. And she really likes a white Russian above all other drinks. -- so that something to share with those that need to not have wheat. As in ... oh no im breaking out in hives uh oh.

    Also Tito's is pretty good overall. Not super cheap - but not expensive. Thats Reinhold's 2 cents.

  2. We certainly don't want anyone breaking out in hives while drinking their vodka. Listening to The Hives while drinking vodka is great. Breaking out in hives? Not so much.