Oh shit, son! You have just entered another dimension, a dimension not only of text and pictures, but of madness. You have embarked on a journey into a lunatic's mind. Check your sanity at the door--you're in the Land of Way!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Short Attention Span Review: Machete (2010)
I know, I know, I'm doing this backward. Yesterday I reviewed Machete Kills and today I'm reviewing the first Machete. I'm a writer, so funny things happen in my brain. Forgive me. Anyway, while the sequel brought some seriously silly sci-fi antics into play, Machete is an ode to those hardcore action movies of the 70s and 80s that made guys like Charlie Bronson and Sylvester Stallone superstars. While it takes the notion of a parody to such bizarre heights that it borders on being too ridiculous to engage the audience, it ultimately succeeds in providing viewers with a cheeky and exciting experience that is equal parts bonkers and badass. If you're looking for a genuine action film, look elsewhere--satire is as important to Machete as gratuitous violence and outrageous amounts of gore. Robert Rodriguez pushes the envelope at every turn, and he gets quality performances from everyone involved. Robert DeNiro appears to be having the time of his life, Don Johnson is great, and Jeff Fahey is fucking phenomenal. Michelle Rodriguez rocks, Lindsay Lohan is actually tolerable, and perhaps only Jessica Alba seems a bit out of place, though she is smoking hot and it's not like she's terrible or anything. Steven Segal is hilarious as the villain, giving us perhaps the funniest death scene of all time, and it truly feels like everyone in the cast had fun making this blood-soaked romp. The score is on point, the effects are appropriately cheesy, the gore is obnoxious, and Machete scores a direct hit for fans of this sort of material.