Short Attention Span Review - Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Short Attention Span Review - Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Crank was a bizarro action flick, to be sure, but it seems downright pedestrian when compared to its 2009 sequel, Crank: High Voltage.  A great many probably can't tolerate a movie this unhinged, but I find it to be exhilarating and hilarious in equal measures, and that sounds like a good time at the movies to me.  Seriously, cinematic brilliance is inserting a brief and pointless cut in the middle of a foot chase so you can use the title card "9 Seconds Later."  Add a Mike Patton score (I'm a huge Patton fan, and this soundtrack is one of my favorite things he has done) and I'm positively swooning over here.  The kaiju scene?  Forget about it.  Take my money, now.  And I'm a big Statham fan, and this picture definitely makes fine use of both his athletic prowess and his incredible sense of humor.  It's insane from start to finish, and much like Speed Racer, this feature could best be described as a live-action cartoon--only this one is for adults only.  It features the most comical sex scene of all time, Dwight Yoakam generating four laughs for every three seconds that he spends on screen ("Is Doc Miles going to have to choke a bitch?"), some serious gore, about a zillion shots fired, and Clifton Collins, Jr. taking it to the limit and beyond as a villain who exists as a caricature of a caricature.  And there's tons of other stuff I could single out, as the Neveldine/Taylor directing duo have engineered an action flick so out of control that virtually every frame is jam-packed with delusional mayhem or tasteless humor--or some combination of the two.  This is most certainly a love it or hate it sort of film, and I absolutely love it. 

Final Grade: A
 

No sacred cows, no holds barred, and zero fucks given.  That's the formula, and the end result is as entertaining as it is absurd.