Short Attention Span Review: Kingsman (2014)

Is Kingsman the best film that was released in 2014?  I'm certainly willing to entertain that notion.  This is a movie that will provide viewers who aren't easily offended with a plethora of thrills, chuckles, and some of the zaniest and most visceral action sequences ever seen.  It comes c/o gifted English filmmaker and producer Matthew Vaughn and boasts a number of stars (Michael Caine, Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Firth, and Mark Strong) as well as a number of spunky new arrivals (most notably Taron Egerton and Sophie Cookson).  The picture is somewhat of a James Bond satire on speed, complete with a maniacal villain (Jackson) armed with an evil plot that threatens the world (bonus points: he also has a badass sidekick), a clandestine agency with a wealth of high-tech gadgets, and some of the most inventive action bits you're apt to see.  There are plenty of laughs and surprises in the mix, and though Kingsman frequently pays homage to the pictures that inspired it, it remains fresh and exciting.  There isn't a dull moment to be had and viewers will find themselves absorbed in the colorful plot and invested in the characters and their efforts to save the day--or remake the planet in their own image.  Colin Firth's dapper gent is an ultimate badass.  Samuel L. Jackson's demented madman can't stand the sight of blood.  Taron Egerton is a plucky street kid who knows a good pug when he sees one (well, kind of . . . ) and this unlikely hero may just have to save the world in the closing reel.  To say that I enjoyed Kingsman immensely would be a bit of an understatement.  I honestly felt that the picture was rather sublime; it isn't often that you see something that is charmingly familiar yet so bold and different--or something  that is fun, vibrant, and absolutely thrilling in equal measures.  Kingsman is a splendid effort that shouldn't be missed.  After all, you don't want to piss off Colin Firth, do you?  Trust me: you don't.

Final Grade: A+

Colin Firth loses his cool in what may be the most violent
action scene ever filmed.  Yes, you read that correctly. 
People underestimate Colin Firth at their own peril.

Short Attention Span Review: The Island (1980)

Earlier this week I did a review of The Deep.  Today, I'm dipping back into the ocean for another film based on a book by Peter Benchley that hit cinemas shortly after Jaws gave us the summer blockbuster.  The Island was no blockbuster, and much like The Deep, many critics and viewers were lukewarm on this seafaring adventure simply because it wasn't Jaws.  If we're ranking these pictures, The Island is surely in third place, but it's not a bad movie.  There are a few shocking moments of violence, a wealth of striking visuals, and Micheal Caine and David Warner offer up sound performances as the hero and the villain of the piece.  This pirate yarn is a bit over the top at times (that's an understatement) and some of the performances are uneven, but it is lively and suspenseful throughout.  Once again, like most every adaptation out there, the book was superior, but The Island still makes for a nifty movie that is often overlooked.  The pirates that menace these waters are surely entertaining to watch and they're a far cry from the likes of Captain Jack Sparrow.  Dirty, vulgar, crude, and extremely violent, these malevolent misfits make for feisty adversaries, and Caine's intrepid reporter is a sound protagonist.  The Island presents Caine's Blair Maynard with a great many obstacles to overcome and the struggles he endures during his captivity make him easy to root for.  The big finale is a bit unbelievable, but it is rather satisfying, and Caine's strong performance makes it easier to swallow.  The direction courtesy of Michael Ritchie is solid and Ennio Morricone provided The Island with yet another of his melodic and haunting scores.  In closing, it's a far cry from Jaws in terms of story and execution, but if you're looking for a cheeky good time The Island is surely worthy of a visit.

Final Grade: C+

This is what happens when you fuck with Michael Caine.