Top 20 Horror Novels - #3) Jaws by Peter Benchley (from 1974)

Not only am I ranking my Top 20 Horror Movies for you this October, but I'm doing likewise with the scary books that I hold near and dear.  As with the movies that I'm discussing in that Top 20, I'm not attempting to rank these novels based on their place in pop culture, but rather their place in my heart.  Isn't that sweet?  Seriously, there are some fine books that didn't make the cut here because there just wasn't room, and there are definitely some well-regarded books that didn't make the cut because I don't really like them.  That also means there are some personal favorites of mine on this list that you may not have heard of.  If that's the case, I promise that I'll reward your trust with a gnarly tale if you give one of them a spin.  Finally, I may have shortchanged some of the titans in the genre (hey there, Stephen King) as I didn't want to overload this list with titles by the same author, though Uncle Stevie did manage to score three direct hits on my list.

The list thus far:

#20) Amok by George Fox (from 1980) 
#19) Manstopper by Douglas Borton (from 1988)
#18) Intensity by Dean Koontz (from 1995)
#17) The Terror by Dan Simmons (from 2007) 
#16) The Snake by John Godey (from 1978)
#15) Son of the Endless Night by John Farris (from 1985)
#14) Rockinghorse by William W. Johnstone (from 1986) 
#13) Vampire$ by John Steakley (from 1990)
#12) Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg (from 1978)
#11) Christine by Stephen King (from 1983)
#10) The Manitou by Graham Masterton (from 1975)
#9) At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft (from 1936)
#8) All Heads Turn When the Hunt Goes By by John Farris (from 1977)
#7) Hell House by Richard Matheson (from 1971)
#6) The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty (from 1971)
#5) I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (from 1954)
#4) The Stand by Stephen King (from 1978)

Top 20 Horror Novels - #3) Jaws by Peter Benchley (from 1974)

Jaws is a different kind of horror novel, but that's precisely what makes it so powerful.  There are no supernatural entities or terrifying madman on the loose, merely a big fish that Peter Benchley presents as a deadly force of nature.  Any allusions to this actual sea monster's intelligence or nature are slight enough that we're never asked to believe that it is on a diabolical rampage.  It's just a really big shark with a really big appetite that decides to camp out in the same area for a little while.  Benchley's considerable knowledge and experience gave him the authority to present a believable account of what might happen if such a predator were to linger in the waters off a quaint little seaside community.  It's that realism that makes his novel so terrifying.  I love Dracula, but I'm not afraid of vampires because they don't really exist.  Yet, like many, though I enjoy the ocean greatly, I do fear that one day a shark might decide to see what I taste like.  It's an awful prospect, and Benchley had the talent to match his expertise--his brisk writing paints a vivid picture of the awful carnage that a massive great white shark could inflict on a human being.  Benchley also gave us a wonderful setting for his tale, the lovable town of Amity, and his characters spring to life as we sink deeper and deeper into his robust tale.  Those who know the movie well but have never experienced the book will discover a pair of exciting subplots that didn't make it to the screen, namely the stubborn mayor's ties to the mob and Ellen Brody's fling with Hooper.  Chief Brody is never certain of his wife's infidelity, but he knows something is amiss, and this particular subplot creates a wealth of tension when he and Hooper take to the sea alongside the salty sailor Quint in a rousing third act.  Primary characters who survived the movie perish in the novel, and the conclusion of the book is far different (and vastly superior) to the exciting climax that Spielberg chose for his film.  There's also a lot of warmth and character development that serves to keep readers thoroughly invested.  Honestly, my favorite scene in the book is a dinner party where Brody has a bit too much to drink.  In closing, Jaws is one of the best books ever written, and it still has enough bite to scare people away from the ocean. 

Dark Gold by David Angsten (from 2010)

"Like Benchley's Jaws, David Angsten's debut will once again chase swimmers out of the water."  That's the quote from James Rollins featured on the cover of this book.  I don't necessarily want James Rollins to be burnt to a crisp, but in a perfect world, anyone who compared something like Dark Gold to Jaws would immediately burst into flames.  Dark Gold is more likely to scare readers out of the bookstore.  My work hasn't reached a large enough audience to hold much sway as of yet, but I'm offering up a better quote for future editions of Dark Gold: "If Peter Benchley had suffered some sort of massive head trauma and written a book while dealing with severe headaches and chronic confusion, he might have produced something like Dark Gold--with a better ending."  I don't have to be compensated.  Take the quote and do the right thing: prepare future readers for the mind-numbing descent into stupidity they are about to endure.  Look, black magic, buried treasure, and sea creatures are right up my alley.  I am the target audience for this kind of material.  I'm also willing to admit that the premise was engaging and I initially liked many of the characters, though they grow more and more tiresome as the tale grew more and more insipid.  Yet the wealth of stupidity that punctuated the dull last act would have made even the finest novel seem like an insult to one's intelligence.  Even prior to the idiotic finish, the main character's absurd ability to survive even the most severe injuries was growing rather tiresome.  Every other chapter ended with this dolt's apparent death, and before the foolish climax mercifully drew to a close, I was hoping and praying that this buffoon would finally perish.  Alas, he survived, and the book hinted at the possibility of a sequel--and that's easily the scariest thing about Dark Gold. 

SPOILER ALERT: Don't read this last tidbit if you're still thinking about setting sail on this voyage into idiocy.  I don't want to spoil the book for anyone because I don't dig on spoilers, but I really don't want you to have to read this turd either.  If you think I'm being too hard on Dark Gold (and the conclusion in particular), all I'm saying is this: there's a sequence where our main character is swallowed by the sea creature at the heart of the tale, hangs out with an old chum in its gullet, and then escapes from the creature's mouth to prolong the miserable climax.  That's Dark Gold in a nutshell for you. 

Final Grade: DO NOT read this shit. 

How's that for a Final Grade?  Seriously, I gave it one star on Goodreads because the site wouldn't allow me to give it no stars. 

Short Attention Span Review: The Island (1980)

Earlier this week I did a review of The Deep.  Today, I'm dipping back into the ocean for another film based on a book by Peter Benchley that hit cinemas shortly after Jaws gave us the summer blockbuster.  The Island was no blockbuster, and much like The Deep, many critics and viewers were lukewarm on this seafaring adventure simply because it wasn't Jaws.  If we're ranking these pictures, The Island is surely in third place, but it's not a bad movie.  There are a few shocking moments of violence, a wealth of striking visuals, and Micheal Caine and David Warner offer up sound performances as the hero and the villain of the piece.  This pirate yarn is a bit over the top at times (that's an understatement) and some of the performances are uneven, but it is lively and suspenseful throughout.  Once again, like most every adaptation out there, the book was superior, but The Island still makes for a nifty movie that is often overlooked.  The pirates that menace these waters are surely entertaining to watch and they're a far cry from the likes of Captain Jack Sparrow.  Dirty, vulgar, crude, and extremely violent, these malevolent misfits make for feisty adversaries, and Caine's intrepid reporter is a sound protagonist.  The Island presents Caine's Blair Maynard with a great many obstacles to overcome and the struggles he endures during his captivity make him easy to root for.  The big finale is a bit unbelievable, but it is rather satisfying, and Caine's strong performance makes it easier to swallow.  The direction courtesy of Michael Ritchie is solid and Ennio Morricone provided The Island with yet another of his melodic and haunting scores.  In closing, it's a far cry from Jaws in terms of story and execution, but if you're looking for a cheeky good time The Island is surely worthy of a visit.

Final Grade: C+

This is what happens when you fuck with Michael Caine.

Short Attention Span Review: The Deep (1977)

Widely regarded as "that other movie based on a book by the guy who wrote Jaws," The Deep is a different sort of adventure, with only an ocean setting and Robert Shaw's presence to link the two.  This is probably why it suffered in the eyes of many fans and critics, for anyone looking for something in the Jaws vein was bound to be disappointed.  Yet that's more than a tad unfair, for while it may not be as good as Jaws (which just so happens to be my favorite movie) and it has precious little in common with that Spielberg blockbuster, it's still a quality motion picture.  Anyone who is fascinated by the ocean is bound to be delighted by the spectacular locales and the impressive underwater cinematography.  Those who like a good old-fashioned adventure will greatly enjoy watching Shaw, Nick Nolte, and Jacqueline Bisset vie for a sunken treasure while being menaced by Louis Gossett and his drug-dealing goons.  There's a huge moray eel that plays a considerable role in determining who survives this daring struggle, and there are voodoo scare tactics, frantic chases, and fisticuffs to keep things lively when our heroes aren't exploring the depths of those spellbinding Bermuda waters.  I'm a big fan of the novel and I believe that this movie directed by Peter Yates is a worthy adaptation of Peter Benchley's work.  There are a few minor discrepancies and the book was better, but isn't that always the case?  Yes, both the book and the film version of Jaws were superior, though I think it's pretty close on both counts.  That shouldn't deter anyone from exploring The Deep, however, as it is a rich film that is very beautiful and very exciting.
   
Final Grade:  B+

This dude scared the hell out of me when I was kid.
Honestly, I still don't want to hang out with him.  Not even a little bit.