Short Attention Span Review: Kingsman (2014)

Is Kingsman the best film that was released in 2014?  I'm certainly willing to entertain that notion.  This is a movie that will provide viewers who aren't easily offended with a plethora of thrills, chuckles, and some of the zaniest and most visceral action sequences ever seen.  It comes c/o gifted English filmmaker and producer Matthew Vaughn and boasts a number of stars (Michael Caine, Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Firth, and Mark Strong) as well as a number of spunky new arrivals (most notably Taron Egerton and Sophie Cookson).  The picture is somewhat of a James Bond satire on speed, complete with a maniacal villain (Jackson) armed with an evil plot that threatens the world (bonus points: he also has a badass sidekick), a clandestine agency with a wealth of high-tech gadgets, and some of the most inventive action bits you're apt to see.  There are plenty of laughs and surprises in the mix, and though Kingsman frequently pays homage to the pictures that inspired it, it remains fresh and exciting.  There isn't a dull moment to be had and viewers will find themselves absorbed in the colorful plot and invested in the characters and their efforts to save the day--or remake the planet in their own image.  Colin Firth's dapper gent is an ultimate badass.  Samuel L. Jackson's demented madman can't stand the sight of blood.  Taron Egerton is a plucky street kid who knows a good pug when he sees one (well, kind of . . . ) and this unlikely hero may just have to save the world in the closing reel.  To say that I enjoyed Kingsman immensely would be a bit of an understatement.  I honestly felt that the picture was rather sublime; it isn't often that you see something that is charmingly familiar yet so bold and different--or something  that is fun, vibrant, and absolutely thrilling in equal measures.  Kingsman is a splendid effort that shouldn't be missed.  After all, you don't want to piss off Colin Firth, do you?  Trust me: you don't.

Final Grade: A+

Colin Firth loses his cool in what may be the most violent
action scene ever filmed.  Yes, you read that correctly. 
People underestimate Colin Firth at their own peril.

Short Attention Span Review: Interstellar (2014)

Surprise, surprise--Christopher Nolan has delivered another stirring picture!  Seriously, Nolan producing something mesmerizing is almost old hat at this point.  Interstellar is only his latest riveting motion picture experience, and while it doesn't represent his best work, it's still one hell of a film.  Thoughtful, emotional, bold, exciting, and challenging, this sci-fi epic is a fine example of the power that high-caliber cinema can yield.  Nolan has always placed incredible talents front and center in his work and that makes this a bold statement, but for once I believe that the greatest strength of this movie was not the gifted director who I'm praising but the star I'm about to start praising.  Mathew McConaughey is on some kind of a roll right now, and while this isn't his best work either, the charm and grace he brings to Interstellar is a fantastic treat to behold.  The best thing about McConaughey is his ability to convey so much and get an audience so invested in such a natural manner.  Many thespians go to elaborate lengths to generate a response, but McConaughey reminds me a bit of the legendary Henry Fonda in that he can dominate the screen with such ease that it seems downright effortless.  There's a feeling that such a performer could walk in a room, pick up a script, read a line once, and then deliver it with remarkable authenticity.  It seems like child's play.  Regardless of how nonchalant his approach may appear to be, McConaughey's work here is impeccable and his performance is nothing short of captivating.  He is joined by wonderful performers like Anne Hathaway and Michael Caine, as well one major surprise, and the acting is top-notch across the board.  The plot is complex yet entertaining, and like many of Nolan's films the less you know going in the better.  The effects are fabulous and the science is very convincing--though I would be one of the last people to know if they were totally defying the laws of physics and such.  The score is superb, which is what we've come to expect from Hans Zimmer, particularly when he works with Nolan.  In closing, Interstellar covers a lot of ground that previous science fiction films regarding space travel have covered, but it never feels like an imitation.  It's fresh, surprisingly sentimental, and very rewarding.

Final Grade: A

Once again, Nolan delivers an emotionally charged mindbender.

Short Attention Span Review: RoboCop (1987)

Earlier today I posted a review of the new RoboCop (I gave it a C) that you can read below.  It only seemed logical to follow that up with a look at the original 1987 smash hit from visionary director Paul Verhoeven.  Rest assured, good people, this one gets an A+.  RoboCop is one of the best sci-fi/action mash-ups ever to grace the screen and I can't think of anything that it doesn't do well.  Peter Weller leads an amazing cast that boasts wonderful performances from Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, and Miguel Ferrer.  Many of these talents offered up what was likely their best work in this excessively violent and riveting shoot 'em up with a lot of heart.  It also benefits from a wealth of black humor and tremendous effects work.  The story is engaging and provocative in equal measures and heightens the impact of all the bloody mayhem unfolding onscreen.  Basil Poledouris provides the piece with what may be his second-best score (I'm hoping that no one reading this needs to be told what his finest score was) and the production team nailed every aspect of bringing this wild and visionary tale to life.  I'm frequently amazed that this was such a major success, but that gives me hope for mankind.  Apparently, there are lot of people out there who dig dark humor, gratuitous voilence, and buckets of gore.  RoboCop is a true one-of-a-kind and it remains just as potent and daring now as it was then.  Perhaps that's the biggest reason that I was so unimpressed with the reboot--RoboCop didn't need a paint job, and there was surely no need for a PG-13 RoboCop Lite.  If you're in the mood for a badass movie about a badass cybernetic policeman cleaning up the mean streets of Detroit, look to 1987.

Final Grade: A+

The original RoboCop is a special effects masterpiece.
If you don't believe me, just ask this guy.

Short Attention Span Review: RoboCop (2014)

The original RoboCop from 1987 is a classic.  Incredibly violent, incredibly funny, and incredibly distinct, its enduring popularity made it ripe for a reboot.  So now we have the 2014 version of RoboCop, which is a decent action movie.  In a way, it's a bit of a shame, because if I had sit down to watch this movie without ever having seen the original, maybe I would have been a bit more impressed.  As it is, this loose interpretation of the Paul Verhoeven blockbuster hits a lot of the same beats, sports an impressive cast, benefits from stellar effects work, and still manages to fall a bit flat.  It doesn't have the same heart and it doesn't have the same acidic wit--though it tries really hard on both counts.  Now, to be fair, the lack of an R-rating probably makes it damn near impossible to compete with a legendary picture that is as violent and as gory an action film as you're apt to see.  There are certainly times when this 2014 RoboCop feels more than a little watered-down, and some of the performers involved could have made a lot more noise if they had been working without boundaries.  Yet it emerges as a serviceable thrill ride and the original was built on a strong enough concept that even a RoboCop Lite packs a bit of a punch.  In the end, I was entertained by this one, but I wasn't as moved by it and I certainly didn't feel like I had just watched something fresh and exciting--though, to be fair, I don't know if that's even possible with these reboots that are so en vogue.  Would I recommend it?  I guess, but I would certainly recommend the original first.

Final Grade: C

The new RoboCop certainly looks cool.

What I'm Working On Now: Baller

I'm currently putting the finishing touches on a novel called Baller.  When I'm done, I'm sending it to Andrew Necci, my trusted editor, and my dear friend Mal Rorrer will dream up a cover.  It's exciting to be at this stage of the game with another project, and this represents another cross-genre yarn, something I'm growing rather fond of.   

Baller is essentially my take on an Agatha Christie mystery, though the end result is (of course) something entirely different.  The protagonists are a basketball player named Luke Wilson and a porn star who calls himself Devil Wood.  Luke is currently serving a suspension, and he has invited his old friend to join him at a private party his former agent is hosting.  The party is set at WinterCrest, a quaint resort in the mountains.  A snowstorm keeps many on the guest list from attending, and those who arrive find themselves snowed in.  Still, it's a beautiful place, and things are going well right up until the host gets murdered.

At this point, our basketball player and porn star have made the acquaintance of Vincent Sanchez, a fearless detective who is also on the guest list.  In fact, they are seated together when the murder takes place.  Vincent looks to Luke and Devil for help and they quickly find themselves swept up in a sinister plot that will become a nightmare for all involved, bringing a frenzy of mayhem and death to WinterCrest.  Can these unlikely heroes survive a number of cold and calculated attacks and uncover the killer's identity before it is too late?  Who is the savage predator at work?  Why is this lunatic preying on the guests stranded at WinterCrest?   

Baller is equal parts mystery, thriller, comedy, and it also has a potent dose of horror in the mix.  I've gone from cross-pollinating horror and comedy or suspense and comedy to birthing a four-headed monster.  The book is surely my most entertaining offering yet, and my revisions are going well.  It isn't often that I speak about my work until I'm finished, but I'm close enough to dish out some details in this case--the first draft is complete--and I wanted you to know what I've been doing when I haven't been writing for RVA or working on movie stuff.  I do my best to share those things with you and I figured now was the time to tell you a little about Baller.  I think the book is hilarious and I don't feel that the comedy is in any way negating the impact of the other genres that it toys with.   It will be interesting to see what you guys think when it is released.  It is very possible that we'll see it in print before the year draws to a close.

The Biter

Here's the really crazy part about this Luis Saurez biting stuff:

He has bitten opponents on a couple of occasions already.  This is bad for his image and the game.  I'm sure he knows this.  I'm sure he's been told this.  I'm 100% positive that those close to Suarez (and his country and the clubs that he represents) have made this clear: chill with the biting, boss, it's bad for business.  I'm sure that's something that was on his mind heading into yesterday's World Cup match.  I'm sure it has been discussed, not once or twice, but many, many times.

And yet here we are.  Another day, another game, and another biting incident.  Let's face it: the dude is seriously crazy.  This is the biggest stage in soccer and here's a guy out there playing his ass off for his country.  He's a wonderful talent and he is critical to Uruguay's success in the World Cup, which often seems to be the only thing that matters in the world of soccer; everything else is just a tune-up of sorts for the World Cup, or so it seems in the grand scheme of things.  So, on this massive stage, what does this immense talent with a bad rep (and a firm understanding that of all the things he shouldn't do out there on the pitch, biting is #1 on the list) do?  You know the answer, you've read the headlines.

It's totally crazy.  Just imagine you're out there playing for your country, knowing you must not bite anyone--which is something you probably shouldn't have any desire to do to begin with--and then it happens.  You're overcome with the urge.  There's this dude a few feet ahead, and as important as this game and your reputation are, you have to bite that son of a bitch.  Suddenly your eyes are glued to his shoulder, and all you can think about is sinking your teeth into that man.  You decide that maybe you can get your bite fix and fool everyone in the process if you try to play it off like your teeth and his shoulder came into contact by accident and it's on.  Damn sanity.  Damn your reputation.  Damn the World Cup.  It's time to bite someone.

I mean, honestly, that's what it looks and feels like to me.  And that, my friends, is some seriously crazy shit.  I don't know that I've ever seen anything like it in professional sports.  Here is a guy that many feel is perhaps the best player in all the world, and if some of the pundits get their way he may never play the beautiful game again.  Hell, it makes sense in a way, how can it be called the beautiful game if there's some lunatic running around out there on the field looking to take a bite out of his opponents.  What's wrong with Luis Suarez?  What will happen to him? 

I don't know, but I know this: it's crazy as hell.

The Beautiful Game

I hope you're watching the World Cup.  This is truly one of the greatest sporting events of them all, and anyone looking to argue that it is in fact THE greatest has a lot of credibility.  It is a game of grace and skill, and when all that athleticism and creativity leads to a score, watching the end result is a lot like experiencing fine art.  Yet it's such an amazing spectacle that scoring isn't truly required.  Today, Mexico challenged the host country, Brazil, and the outcome was a 0-0 draw.  However, despite the lack of goals, this was a thrilling match that oozed drama and suspense. 

Watch the World Cup.  I know we Americans are relative newcomers to the sport and many of us know precious little about it, but the 2014 World Cup is just getting started.  Thus far, it promises to be a gripping education for those who aren't in the know, and those who are in the know have to be impressed with the results thus far.  Besides, The NBA Finals are over and football is still a couple of months away.  This is the time to embrace the beautiful game.