Short Attention Span Review - The Changeling (1980)

Short Attention Span Review - The Changeling (1980)

Everyone loves a good old-fashioned haunted house story, right?  Throw in a vengeful ghost and George C. Scott, and you have the makings of a classic.  The Changeling is highly regarded for a reason, and like The Haunting (which veteran director Peter Medak studied at close range long before crafting this 1980 chiller), it still works.  A spooky yarn is a spooky yarn, and the absence of CGI or other modern effects doesn't hinder this ghastly cult classic in the slightest.  I would argue that all of the gags in The Changeling work to perfection, though like the best films of this ilk, it relies more on what we hear and suspect than what we actually see.  A good script, a powerful score, top-notch cinematography, and several impeccable sets elevate this into the upper statosphere of fright flicks.  Scott dominates the proceedings--he's in damn near every scene, and he brings his trademark fire and gusto to the party.  He also handles the quiet moments surprisingly well, and this is essential; The Changeling is both thoughtful and clever in its construction.  The climax is certainly volatile, and I just can't lodge any complaints against this stirring essay in grief and terror.  At the end of the day, movies like this live or die based on whether or not they can send enough chills racing down your spine.  The Changeling is a damn good movie, and it is scary.

Note: Shudder subscribers should absolutely stream this one with Joe Bob.  Great stuff.  And if you dig horror and you haven't signed up for Shudder yet, you are missing out.  Shudder is the best streaming service out there.

Final Grade: A

Creepy and mesmerizing, The Changeling is a Grade A spookshow.

Short Attention Span Review: Poltergeist (1982)

Short Attention Span Review: Poltergeist (1982)

So often, conversations regarding Poltergeist center on alleged curses and the question of who exactly directed the picture.  These are interesting threads to tug on, to be sure, and I'll touch on them here, but what is often overlooked in these discussions is just how incredible the movie itself is.  Nearly forty years after it was released, this exciting spookshow remains one of the genre's most energetic efforts.  It has everything one could hope for, to include a great cast of performers, phenomenal effects, a fine script, an eerie score, and sound direction.  Pacing is one of its biggest assets, as it begins quaintly enough, and then the suspense and fear are continually elevated until it reaches a bombastic conclusion.  It's also a fun horror picture, with ample doses of humor and wonder sprinkled throughout what could be dubbed a master class in the art of the jump scare.  As for those pressing questions, well, I've never been a big believer in curses on film sets myself, and any doubts about who actually directed the picture don't give me an awful lot of pause.  Spielberg was admittedly on set for a lot of the production, and was far more involved than most producers would have been.  There is no doubt that his fingerprints are all over the movie.  However, there are certainly elements that remind me more of director Tobe Hooper's work, so I view Poltergeist as a most successful collaboration.  The neat thing about this partnership (and one of the key elements to this film's longevity) is the way this bridges two separate worlds.  I think those who are looking for a mysterious adventure with a lot of otherworldy delights up its sleeve and an underlying sense of wonder running throughout will find a lot to love with this one.  I also think that old school horror fans who dig ghastly shenanigans and things that creep through the darkness will be equally pleased with this frightful romp.  It may be a bit too much for the E.T. crowd and it may be far too tame for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre crowd, but there's a lot of area to cover between those pictures, and anyone who resides in that terrain is apt to peg Poltergeist as one of their favorite horror films.  I actually consider myself a proud member of both camps, and I enjoy Poltergeist immensely.  I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard.

Final Grade: A

Poltergeist remains a vivid scarefest that grows more and more exciting as it nears its stupendous climax.

Short Attention Span Review: Ouija (2014)

Utterly predictable and populated by some of the dumbest characters you'll ever find in a horror movie, Ouija is one of those flicks that still manages to entertain.  It's silly, it never strays from the formula, and it doesn't do anything new or inventive, but it is enjoyable if you don't mind watching stupid people suffer.  The ghoulish hijinks start when a couple of naive teenagers start messing with a ouija board and fail to follow the rules.  Every time they break out the ouija board, things get worse, yet they always respond to the gruesome tragedies that ensue by getting together again and busting out the ouija board.  "Guys, Debbie bit the dust last night after dicking around with the ouija board.  We have to get together tonight and dick around with the ouija board."  Cue horror movie antics.  Then the gang gets together the next day and it's like, "Guys, Isabelle bit the dust last night after we dicked around with the ouija board.  We have to get together tonight and dick around with the ouija board again."  I'm not exaggerating, that's essentially the plot for Ouija.  Not only that, but these brilliant teenagers (who I can't help but envy as there is never anything resembling adult supervision in their lives) insist on playing with the ouija board in the dark in houses where people recently suffered sinister demises.  Yet there are some decent jump scares to be had and the mood and music are serviceable.  I watched this one with my wife and my sister-in-law, and while I chuckled and sipped my bourbon they acted as though we had been transported back to 1973 to watch The Exorcist in one of those theaters where people were allegedly passing out and running for the exits.  The conclusion was as obvious as everything else about Ouija, but it worked.  If it sounds like I'm hating on this one, I'm not; the picture itself wasn't any smarter than the characters in it, but it was enjoyable.  Some horror movies work because you strongly identify with the leads and their struggles and you're drawn into a riveting story.  Some work because the leads are idiots and it's somewhat comical watching them stumble from one big scare to the next.  Count Ouija among the latter.  In closing, don't expect a classic--just pop some popcorn and have a few chuckles with this one.

Final Grade: C

This particular moment represents dumb mistake #19 for Laine (Olivia Cooke).