Short Attention Span Review: Ouija (2014)

Utterly predictable and populated by some of the dumbest characters you'll ever find in a horror movie, Ouija is one of those flicks that still manages to entertain.  It's silly, it never strays from the formula, and it doesn't do anything new or inventive, but it is enjoyable if you don't mind watching stupid people suffer.  The ghoulish hijinks start when a couple of naive teenagers start messing with a ouija board and fail to follow the rules.  Every time they break out the ouija board, things get worse, yet they always respond to the gruesome tragedies that ensue by getting together again and busting out the ouija board.  "Guys, Debbie bit the dust last night after dicking around with the ouija board.  We have to get together tonight and dick around with the ouija board."  Cue horror movie antics.  Then the gang gets together the next day and it's like, "Guys, Isabelle bit the dust last night after we dicked around with the ouija board.  We have to get together tonight and dick around with the ouija board again."  I'm not exaggerating, that's essentially the plot for Ouija.  Not only that, but these brilliant teenagers (who I can't help but envy as there is never anything resembling adult supervision in their lives) insist on playing with the ouija board in the dark in houses where people recently suffered sinister demises.  Yet there are some decent jump scares to be had and the mood and music are serviceable.  I watched this one with my wife and my sister-in-law, and while I chuckled and sipped my bourbon they acted as though we had been transported back to 1973 to watch The Exorcist in one of those theaters where people were allegedly passing out and running for the exits.  The conclusion was as obvious as everything else about Ouija, but it worked.  If it sounds like I'm hating on this one, I'm not; the picture itself wasn't any smarter than the characters in it, but it was enjoyable.  Some horror movies work because you strongly identify with the leads and their struggles and you're drawn into a riveting story.  Some work because the leads are idiots and it's somewhat comical watching them stumble from one big scare to the next.  Count Ouija among the latter.  In closing, don't expect a classic--just pop some popcorn and have a few chuckles with this one.

Final Grade: C

This particular moment represents dumb mistake #19 for Laine (Olivia Cooke).