In this day and age, seeing comic
book characters come to life in movies or television shows has become rather
old hat. It’s probably difficult for the
youth of today to understand that for those of us who were children of the 80s it was rare to see
one of our heroes from the funny books taking part in a film or a television
broadcast aside from the cartoons we so treasured. Yes, there were reruns of Adam West’s Batman, an absurd chapter in that
character’s legacy that I still treasure, and sometimes Spider-Man made a guest
appearance on The Electric Company,
but what else was there? I would like to
forget Reb Brown’s Captain America, but that lame take on the character seemed
like a masterpiece in comparison to Nicholas Hammond’s Spider-Man. Both of those efforts aired sporadically, so
sporadically in fact that many of my peers thought I was lying about the
existence of both ill-advised ventures.
For the purpose of this argument I’m giving Wonder Woman a pass because Lynda Carter was nice to look at no
matter how bad that show was, and I don’t know if you could make a good program
with invisible planes and lassos of truth with modern effects. For the most part, in the late 70s and early
80s the industry simply wasn’t prepared to utilize comic book characters in
entertaining and competent presentations.
That changed with Kenneth Johnson’s development of The Incredible Hulk for CBS in 1977. Like many, I would race to the television set
when I heard that show’s opening theme throughout its five season run, and I would
watch every episode from start to finish even if I had already seen it ten
times. Like many, I was continually
surprised that the makers of this smash hit were able to interest me in David
Banner (Johnson didn’t like the fact that Stan Lee liked characters whose first
and last names begin with the same letter) and his unique exploits to such an
extent that it didn’t matter if the Hulk only showed up for a few minutes at a
time to toss stuntman around and roar and flex in slow-motion. It also didn’t matter that the show utilized
Lou Ferrigno sprinkled with green dust and sporting a lousy wig as the Hulk,
because as primitive as that approach may have been, the end result was rather
admirable.
I tuned in week in and week out to
watch David’s woeful journey through a television landscape that could best be
described as TV America, a land
populated by engaging characters in quaint little communities where it was
never hard for David to find work or conflict.
Each new town presented our hero with another nice job and several
honest people to call friends, and each time he grew comfortable just in time
for all hell to break loose, forcing him to become the Hulk and save the
day.
This endless cycle always led to
the arrival of David’s nemesis, tabloid journalist Jack McGee, expertly played
by Jack Colvin, who would show up, snoop around, and force our lonesome hero to
move on after sacrificing his brief stint of peace for the good of those who
showed him kindness. It was
heartbreaking even without that sad music, and if you liked the show even half as
much as I did, you can probably hear it playing right now. It’s the sound of leaving, the sound of
turning your back on what you want because you know it’s the right thing to
do. It’s the sound of nobility giving
way to tragedy.
Yes, I own the box set with every
episode of this landmark series. Yes, I
still watch it and enjoy it, and my children like it almost as much as I do, so it still has some resonance
even in this day and age. Since I love the show so much, it’s no wonder I found myself thinking
about David Banner earlier today. In
fact, I found myself wondering what exactly happened to that hero from my
youth, the one legitimate success that emerged from the efforts to televise the
exploits of a superhero for comic fans of a bygone era. David was a good guy, a hell of a man really,
and the fact that he was played by a thespian like Bill Bixby never hurt
matters. It was easy to like Bill, and
he made it even easier to know and love David Banner. With that in mind, here are a few things I
hope he found along the way:
A
good woman. The guy definitely
deserved it. I know he encountered
several good women along the way, but I’m hoping he met one he was able to stay
with at some point, and if not, I’m hoping he met one who was able to come
along for the journey. I know this would
be dangerous in some ways, but if I was traveling with David I would have been
more worried about the shit he gets into than that green-skinned goliath that
he transforms into when he’s angry.
Though that behemoth will roar and toss bad guys around with the very
best of them, he never hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it. I’ve seen this version of the Hulk handle baby birds without
incident, for Christ’s sake.
A
good job that wasn’t at the center of some sinsister scheme. Let’s face it, David was the kind of
employee every boss dreams about. He was
willing to take on entry level work or dive head-first into mammoth projects,
and he had to have the best resume of all time.
Imagine all the prestigious institutes and projects listed among his job
credits, and then think about all the menial labor and customer service gigs you
would have found there as well. This guy
was a genius with humility who came cheap, and he showed time and time again
that if something bad happened at his workplace he would not hesitate to save
the day. Who wouldn’t hire a guy like
that? However, I should point out that
if he was required to save the day at some point, well, then it would probably be time to
rebuild once the dust settled. And the
company would have to replace David, who probably wasn’t all that big on two-week notices. Regardless, the guy
deserved a nice job.
A
cure. He worked hard enough for it,
and every time his results ended in failure if they weren’t destroyed while he
was in the process of saving the day.
Plus, he was kind of obsessed about it.
Edward Norton was content to do crazy breathing exercises so that he
could control his anger, but Bixby needed closure. The television version of the character
needed a cure to put the chaos and strife behind him so that he could settle
down and lead a normal life. I hope he
figured it out at some point.
Though this is the third item on my
list, it would probably be helpful if David got his cure before he met the good
woman and found the good job that wasn’t at the center of some sinister
scheme. Maybe the guy got on a roll at
some point and the hits never stopped coming.
Again, he deserved it.
A
story in the news about Jack McGee suffering a terrible fate. David probably wouldn’t have wished for
this, but fans of the show understand my feelings here. This guy made us hate the paparazzi before
the paparazzi even existed. Seriously,
how the hell did the bad guy on a television show become a poster child for the
media as it exists today? Jack McGee
introduced us to sensationalism and invasive reporting without conscience, and
I have a hard time sleeping thinking that he might still be dogging David on
his trek across TV America. Oh, and I
don’t like to think David reading about Jack McGee dying in his sleep because
of smoke inhalation either, I’m hoping that the bastard got it worse than
that. Like maybe he was doing a story on
bees and he got stung to death by thousands of angry hornets, or maybe he was
doing an expose on the wrong pawn shop and someone decided it was time to get
the gimp. I’m sorry if this seems harsh,
but trust me: he deserved it.
A
ride. Walking is good for you, and I
understand this, but that dude’s feet were definitely in need of a break. He was walking along the side of the road for
far too long. I get the feeling he
wouldn’t have cared if it was a showpiece or not so long as it got him from
point A to point B, but I hope he had a nice stereo. God knows he should have had something better
to listen to whenever he was leaving town.
That haunting melody is almost
enough to make a grown man cry.
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