Friday, February 21, 2020

Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies


Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies

Well, this is long overdue.  Those who have followed my blog or perused my offerings for RVA Magazine are familiar with my "Top 5" pieces.  And those who know me best are well aware that I've been a big fan of Wings Hauser since I was a teenager haunting my local video stores and carrying on a torrid relationship with cable television.  No bullshit, there are framed photos of Wings on display in my home, a testament to both my fascination with this bold talent and my wife's love for me.    


A star athlete who took his moniker from the position he played in football ("wingback"), Hauser embraced his Hollywood roots and made the jump to acting at an early age.  Known for his over the top antics and his ability to portray lunatic heavies or tough-guy heroes alike with profound intensity, Wings became a true blue B movie icon.  Not only that, but many may be surprised at the depths of his artistry.  In addition to his work on the screen, Hauser has also directed motion pictures.  Hell, he even cut an album for RCA (Your Love Keeps Me Off the Streets) in 1975.


I consider myself an authority where his filmography is concerned, and working up this Top 5 had me sweating bullets.  If you combine his work in film and television, Wings has well over a hundred acting credits to his name.  There are some fine pictures and a dazzling array of bravura performances within those ranks.  Sometimes this blogging business is a tough gig, good people, but after a lot of deliberation, I have made my picks.



Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies - #5) Deadly Force (1983)

Honestly, this one could aptly be described as equal parts "rogue cop hunting a serial killer" flick and "rogue cop hunting a serial killer" parody a la Airplane!.  Yes, Deadly Force is pretty fucking ridiculous.  It's also highly entertaining, mostly due to Hauser's off the rails work as the lead.  Wings stars as Stoney Cooper (no explanation is given, so we're left to assume that his birth name is actually Stoney), an ex-cop who plays by his own rules and embodies pretty much every cliche imaginable where such heroes are concerned.  The character is outrageous, a hackneyed creation who plays the piano when he isn't using bravado and tenderness to negotiate with would-be bombers or traveling across the country to hunt down a serial killer as a favor to an old friend.  No, really.  This caricature comes courtesy of a contrived plot that piles on the excess at every turn and hits so many familiar beats that it emerges as a cinematic exercise in recycling.  However, Wings throws himself into the role with such passion, physicality, and abandon that the viewer can't help but be pulled in--even while groaning at the shameless exploitation on display.  Case in point: there's a big sequence where Stoney is nearly gunned down while taking a bath, requiring Hauser to flail around in the nude.  In slow motion.  For entirely too long.  And he's all in, peeps, devoting himself to the scene as though it were the sleazy action movie equivalent of Marc Antony's funeral speech.  It has to be seen to be fully appreciated.  It's Deadly Force, guys.  It's trashy, it's absurd, it's relentless, and it is so painfully bad that it arrives at oh so very good.  It's also a perfect example of the flamboyant machismo that made Wings a pillar of the cult cinema circuit.

Stoney Cooper, ladies and gentlemen.  You can try to take him out while he's taking a bath, but he'll roll around showing the world his soapy ass and dodging bullets, and then he'll hunt you down. 


Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies - #4) Reason to Die (1990)

Wings specialized in violent motion pictures; he usually played either a hero operating outside the law or a deranged baddie.  Reason to Die is a film he carries as the good guy while Arnold Vosloo oozes menace as a psycho who preys on prostitutes in South Africa.  Reason to Die stands out for two reasons.  First, while many of Hauser's films were hampered by meager budgets or shoddy craftsmanship, this is one slick production free of such shortcomings.  In particular, I think it makes great use of the setting, with the seedy underbelly of South Africa giving the filmmakers an unusual palette.  This makes some of the familiar machinations of the plot feel less derivative, and it gives the piece as a whole a different feel.  Secondly, it may just be the most violent of Hauser's movies.  Vosloo is largely responsible for this, with his twisted killer notching a body count that would make Jason Vorhees proud.  These killings come in the most gratuitous fashion, with the picture placing a shameless emphasis on titillation and terror.  Wings bashes plenty of heads together on the hunt for this prolific madman, enduring intense scrutiny from the local authorities every step of the way.  This is a fast-paced affair, and it is strictly designed to deliver the goods where fistfights, gunfights, and murder are concerned.  Even for this sort of cult cinema thriller, Reason to Die is a bit savage, and forgive me, but I do see that as a selling point.  Having said that, there is also a commendable effort made to inject some emotional heft into the proceedings, and Wings surely makes the most of this opportunity.  It's almost enough to give this Elliot Canner character legitimate depth.  Almost.  He shows some heart, but remains too damn badass to feel like anything other than a gritty B movie hero.  Shit, toward the end of the picture, he uses his lover as bait in a desperate bid to bring Vosloo down.  At the end of the day, Reason to Die is no masterpiece, but it could be seen as a master class in sadistic exploitation and sleazy thrills.  Wings is at his brazen best throughout, and Reason to Die is a perfect example of his no holds barred brand of entertainment.

There's a whole lot of violence going down in this bloody 1990 thriller.
Also: this is the face your lover makes when you use them as a bait to land a serial killer.


Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies - #3) Siege of Firebase Gloria (1989)

The third picture to make my list is probably the best Vietnam movie you never saw.  Now, this picture is light-years from landmark offerings like Apocalypse Now or Platoon, but ranks among the very best of the Vietnam features produced in the absence of a visionary director and a big budget.  There's a lot of trash in this vein, but there are also movies like Go Tell the Spartans or The Boys in Company C.  Siege of Fireplace Gloria belongs among those outings, and one of its biggest assets is a strong performance from Wings as DiNardo, a steely Marine who unravels during the Tet Offensive.  Playing a sidekick of sorts to the great R. Lee Ermey, Wings shows a bit of subtlety here and there (not exactly his trademark), and also gets to display a bit more range than usual.  It's a rare supporting part for Hauser and an even rarer starring role for Ermey.  This pairing is a big win in my book--they play well off of one another, and if either of these parts had been miscast, the movie itself would have misfired and descended into the ranks of those lesser war movies.  Gritty and well-rounded, Siege of Firebase Gloria doesn't sanctify its heroes or demonize its villains.  Many have come forward to hail it as one of the more realistic depictions of the horror and confusion that defined this particular military conflict.  It focuses on tough men making tough choices in the toughest of conditions, and in doing so, it paints a picture that is both grim and inspiring.  Siege of Firebase Gloria is not a typical Wings flick at all, but it is one of the better movies that he appeared in, and it shows a different side of this cult cinema stalwart. 

This would be one of those forgettable war flicks if not for these two guys, who play extremely well off of one another.


Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies - #2) Mutant a.k.a Night Shadows (1984)

Note: What follows is my Short Attention Span Review of Mutant from March 15, 2015.  I thought about writing a new capsule for this Top 5, but there's a segment in this review spotlighting Bo Hopkins that ranks among my favorite bits that I have ever included in one of my reviews.  I couldn't pass up the chance to share it once more.

I'm pretty sure that Mutant (a.k.a. Night Shadows) is a bad movie.  It may even be a terrible movie.  I'm also going to give it a decent grade here because I believe that it is very entertaining.  Honestly, it may actually be a good movie--fairly good anyway.  Forgive me, sometimes it's hard to tell with these schlocky horror flicks.  I am sure of this: if it is good, it's not very good, and if it is bad, it's of the "so bad that it's good" variety.  The leads are Wings Hauser and Bo Hopkins, so that definitely earns the picture some credit in my book.  I'm a big fan of Wings, and I feel that his B-movie legacy is the stuff of legend.  He has also appeared in some major films, to include his amazing performance in Vice Squad, a personal favorite of mine.  Bo Hopkins was a charismatic and likable performer who always did a great job of playing Bo Hopkins.  Not surprisingly, he plays Bo Hopkins well in Mutant.  Wings and Bo hold this creative shocker together despite some flaws, most of which pertain to the lackluster creature effects and make-up.  Yet there are some decent scares, and the plot sprinkles a few surprises in the mix to keep us on our toes throughout.  There are a host of maniacal hillbillies that our heroes must deal with when they aren't on the run from a new breed of zombie/vampire/mutant/I'm-not-really-sure-exactly-what-the-hell-these-things-are.  These shambling mystery monsters are the result of the reckless disposal of volatile waste, making Mutant another of those "Man fucks with the ecosystem, man gets eaten" stories they taught us about in high school.  Only man doesn't get eaten this time out--it's a twist!  These things that resemble sick people wearing Alice Cooper make-up have slits on their palms that ooze acidic slime.  If they touch you and get this perilous slime on you, you get to join the club.  Hey, it's different, and it ramps up the tension considerably during the rollicking finale.  With zombies, you can fight them off so long as they don't sink their teeth into you, but with these things, you're toast if they manage to touch you.  The direction from John "Bud" Cardos (the man responsible for Kingdom of the Spiders) is solid, and the film zips along.  For whatever reason, I'm actually really fond of Mutant, and while some will surely view it as a failure, I'm definitely going to give it a passing grade.

Note: I gave it a "C."  Still, it's a very entertaining C.  I chose it for the second spot on this list because it is one of Hauser's most enjoyable features.  This is one of those movies I can watch over and over again.  It's far from perfect in so many regards, but it is perfectly entertaining.  Wings is at his very best, and of all the films where he got to wear the white hat, I would pick this part as his most likable hero.  It's also one of a handful of such films where he's more of a normal guy than some absolute badass, but he does handle himself pretty well once the shit hits the fan.  If you dig horror films of this era and want to see Wings kill it as a good guy taking on asshole hillbillies and kooky mutant/zombie hybrids, Mutant is where it's at.

These guys really want to get their hands on my list of the Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies.


Top 5 Wings Hauser Movies - #1) Vice Squad (1982)

Hauser's breakthrough role remains his best performance all these years and parts later, and Vice Squad is also the best movie he ever appeared in.  It is exploitation at its very best, operating with a laser focus as a single night of savage debauchery unfolds.  Wings plays Ramrod, a psychotic pimp, and he doesn't just steal every scene he's in, he steals the entire movie.  This despite career-best performances from both Season Hubley and Gary Swanson as the de facto leads.  And Hubley and Swanson are both fully immersed and absolutely terrific in this sleazy thriller on speed, and their work also deserves high praise.  Wings is simply on another level, snarling and raging as one of the most despicable heavies the cinema has ever spawned.  The part is a perfect match for Hauser's boundless energy and formidable swagger--I would say it's a match made in heaven, but if you ask any of the hookers he ravages or rival pimps that he castrates, they'll likely dub it a match made in hell.  The script is a treasure chest brimming with kooky scenes, dope lines, potent suspense, and ferocious action.  And at least one huge laugh that comes from out of nowhere.  It's hard to believe that director Gary Sherman didn't become a household name in the industry, though horror fans may fondly recall his Raw Meat.  It's no surprise that Hauser went on to become such a presence in the motion picture industry, though it is certainly fair to wonder why he didn't secure more showcase roles in equally transcendent features.  In truth, when I started this Top 5, I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that it would culminate with Vice Squad.  I hold the film itself in high esteem, and Ramrod is one of the most darkly charismatic characters I have ever encountered.  He's a monster, but he is so dogged and Hauser is so guns-blazing intense that you almost wind up rooting for the guy.  One thing is for sure: movies are seldom so exciting as when this rampaging lunatic is running wild on the screen, and few performers have been so impressive in any role.  If you want to see Wings Hauser at his very best, dial up Vice Squad and enjoy the show.  

Note: For a more in-depth look at what may be the best exploitation movie of them all, please check out the Cult Classics from Dimension X piece I did for Vice Squad way back in 2013.

Wings Hauser rages across the screen in Vice Squad, which may be the best exploitation movie ever made.

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