Short Attention Span Review - The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Maybe this isn't exactly high praise, but The Sword and the Sorceror is one of the best Conan clones released in the early 80s. Yes, most of those pictures are atrocious, but the point stands. Lurid and pulpy, this Albert Pyun venture doesn't take itself seriously despite the presence of traditional genre themes like vengeance, conquest, and destiny. It is easy to imagine Pyun calling "cut" after takes and imploring his cast to add more cheese to their deliveries. No one plays it straight, and Richard Lynch and Lee Horsley engage in a supreme duel to see who can ham it up the most in the two most important roles. Namely, the hero and the villain, and I'm pretty sure you can guess which one is which. We've got melodramatic music cues, shameless T&A, and bursts of extreme gore. And you can't bring this movie up without referencing the sword with three blades, which may rank as the greatest of the absurdities in play. Oh, and this sword with three blades can fire those blades as projectiles--and the effects work that allows this to transpire is just as meh as what you're picturing in your head. That's an exception to the rule, however, as most of the effects in the picture are rather convincing. That's more than I can say for the fight choreography, which is rugged and inspired, but not all that deft. You know the drill: lots of aggressive strikes that are all too easy to block coupled with frenzied snarls. Work it , boys. Yeah, it is that kind of show. But you know what? It's far from dull, and in fact, it's pretty damn fun from start to finish. There are even moments where it is rather incredible. Also, I mentioned the gore earlier--as a horror junkie, I'm going to double down here. The gore is a nice touch. Livens things up nicely. So, if you're going to dial up something of this ilk that isn't Conan the Barbarian or The Beastmaster, The Sword and the Sorceror is your only hope. Pop open a frosty, and you may just enjoy the hell out of this bloody romp that thrives on cliches and machismo.
Final Grade: C+
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| Good old Talon and the three-bladed sword. Silly as hell, yes, and also pretty fucking gnarly. |
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