Short Attention Span Review: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Short Attention Span Review: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

So much fun!  A fresh take on a character who has enjoyed a lot of screentime in the last 15 years, Spider-Man: Homecoming is equal parts superhero film and high school coming-of-age dramady a la John Hughes.  That's precisely what Director John Watts billed it as, and the end result really sticks the landing.  In hindsight, this was clearly the path to take in bringing one of Marvel's enduring characters into the fold (previously, the relationship with Sony and Marvel--or lack thereof--didn't allow for him to exist in the same space as Iron Man or the rest of the gang), and this film packs as much fun and excitement into 2 hours and 13 minutes as one could hope for.  Tom Holland is Spider-Man, thoroughly owning the part and bringing both Peter Parker and Spidey to life in stunning fashion.  However, for yours truly, it was Michael Keaton who really put the picture over the top, turning one of the more mediocre villains from the comics into a real jewel who exudes menace and charisma in equal measures.  The supporting cast is also quite an assett, with Jacob Batalan ratcheting up the humor throughout and Marisa Tomei giving us the hottest and most intriguing take on Aunt May we've seen to date.  The whole thing feels new and brimming with life, and though it is missing some of the staples of the franchise (there are no Osborns in the mix, and J. Jonah Jameson is also missing in action), it does such an amazing job of ripping Spidey from the pages of the comics and plastering him on screen that viewers will hardly notice their absence.  Is it the best Spider-Man movie we've seen yet?  Honestly, I don't know--I think Sam Raimi's Spider-man 2 still sits atop the throne, but Spider-Man: Homecoming is in the discussion, and it has certainly laid the groundwork for bigger and better things to come.

Final Grade: A

A winner from start to finish, Spider-Man: Homecoming is a terrific way to cement our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man's place in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe).

Short Attention Span Review: Knightriders (1981)

Short Attention Span Review: Knightriders (1981)

As a teen, I didn't know quite what to make of George Romero's Knightriders, a fascinating character study that stands as perhaps his most quixotic production.  That's saying something, for while he will always be best known for his gory shockers and his role as the man who put zombies on the map in a big way, he produced a few headscratchers (to include pictures like Martin and Season of the Witch) along the way.  I wanted more of the jousting atop roaring motorcycles and the daredevil flair that Tom Savini brought to the picture as Morgan.  I didn't quite get Billy as portrayed by Ed Harris, the king of the medieval troupe that has traded horses for motorcycles that Knightriders focuses on.  Billy isn't interested in stardom or money, and his devotion to a peculiar but noble set of ethics may even trump his concern for those who look to him for leadership.  In my youth, he seemed to be a bit of a lunatic whose zeal clearly surpassed his logic or compassion, and I may have yearned to see him dethroned--I note this despite the fact that the valiant yet suitably heartbreaking conclusion to the piece didn't sit well with me at the time.  Upon further review, I still enjoy Savini's quality performance and Morgan's perfectly reasonable yearning for gratification and publicity.  Yet Billy's inspired devotion and refusal to compromise in a world that grinds such valiance into dust now strikes me as a far more worthy centerpiece for the tale, and Ed Harris certainly nailed his first true leading role with the sort of magnificence that is worthy of a king.  I also found that ending to be absolutely perfect, and eerily reminiscent of the equally fitting climax that brought Vanishing Point to an end a decade before this film's release.  Lest I slight everyone else involved, there is little to complain about so far as the technical aspects and supporting cast are concerned.  Knightriders is far from a lavish production, but the cast is game, the stunts are lively, and the one and only George Romero does an exceptional job of bringing this unconventional saga to life in riveting fashion.


Final Grade: B

Savini is surprisingly good in one of his biggest parts, but Ed Harris shines, putting his formidable talent on full display long before he would become a legitimate star.

Short Attention Span Review: Cold in July (2014)

Short Attention Span Review: Cold in July (2014)

Sam Shepard was a true legend, a gifted actor who was probably a better writer, and his passing has been marked with a wealth of tributes that honor his legacy.  As I read about his filmography, I realized that I had never watched Cold in July despite the fact that it had piqued my curiousity when it was released back in 2014.  Thus, I decided to go ahead and check out this slow boil of thriller set in 1989, and I'm certainly glad that I did.  The de facto star is Michael C. Hall from Dexter, and while he rocked a hideous mullet and embedded himself in his role, Shepard made for a bigger presence.  Not surprisingly, both of these quality performances were overshadowed by Don Johnson once he showed up about halfway through Cold in July, stealing the show in a part that falls just short of iconic.  The direction courtesy of Jim Mickle was sound and the real star attraction had to be the riveting score by Jeff Grace, who was clearly paying tribute to 80s cinema by way of John Carpenter.  The pace was a bit uneven here and there, and while I can appreciate a nice slow boil, things did drag a bit at times.  Given that the movie is based on the work of Joe R. Lansdale, it isn't surprising that it concludes with a gory showdown, though I was surprised that there were so many plot threads left dangling.  I don't think I can grade this one any higher than a B-, but it was one bloodthirsty B- and that may not even be a bad thing considering that Cold in July is a B movie by design.

Final Grade: B-

Next to the killer score, Cold in July's biggest assett is the trio of actors who bond on a subversive quest to make things right that requires them to bathe in blood.

Short Attention Span Review: Ex Machina (2014)

Short Attention Span Review: Ex Machina (2014)

Though it doesn't feature a lot of action, Ex Machina is a thoroughly captivating science fiction thriller that had me glued to the screen from start to finish.  Existing as a modern take on Frankenstein by way of artificial intelligence, it posed a lot of interesting questions and played hardball with the answers.  Essentially a three man (well, two men and one woman) show, the picture kept me guessing until the final reel.  Domhnall Gleeson made for a perfect lead, and I never knew whether he should place his trust in the likable but imposing mad genuis played by Oscar Isaacs or his charismatic creation as portrayed by Alicia Vikander.  And every time I thought I had pegged one of those characters as being worthy of his allegience, the plot would serve and I would find myself puzzling over the eventual outcome once more.  Stylishly directed by Alex Garland (who also wrote the script) and boasting rad effects, I found Ex Machina to be one groovy mindfuck.

Final Grade: A

Kooky and captivating, Ex Machina is a quality sci-fi film shot with vigor.

Short Attention Span Review: Dead Cross

Short Attention Span Review: Dead Cross 

In fairness,  I should make my readers aware of the following tidbits:

1) Faith No More is my favorite band, and as such, there is little doubt that I would classify Mike Patton and the versatility and creativity that he brings to his vocals as the best things ever to happen to any microphone, anywhere.

2) I'm a diehard Slayer fan, and while I take nothing away from the band as a whole, I have stated on more than one occasison that if the band were to offer any album featuring Dave Lombardo as a drums-only release featuring his work on the skins alone, well, I would snatch that shit up in a hot minute.

So, this whole Dead Cross thing is a bit of a dream project as far as I'm concerned, and I want to make this clear as I obviously have a considerable bias at work as I sit down to write this review.  By the same token, these tidbits should denote a potent set of expectations regarding this latest release from the throbbing treasure chest of unruly sounds that is Ipecac Recordings.  As with anything one approaches with high hopes and a decided thirst, it was entirely possible that even a solid recording would have been a bit of a disappointment.  Yes, I listened to this album mere hours after it was released fully expecting to hear something noteworthy, and I'm very happy to report that I wasn't disappointeed.  In point of fact, Dead Cross has surpassed my expectations, and if there's a better way to spend 28 minutes listening to music, I'm not aware of it.  Most surprisingly, while Patton and Lombardo both rise to new heights and bejewel this stash of hardcore gold with the very best that they have to offer, it's the guitar work courtesy of Mike Crain (Retox) that really puts this sonic blitz over the top.   Justin Pearson (Retox, the Locust) also nails the bass parts for this brief but incredible descent into unbridled fury, but I was constantly amazed by the twists and turns that Crain threw down, thrashing and grinding his way through a guns-blazing assault on the eardrums that never fails to surprise or entertain.  Quirky, energetic, and brimming with tongue-in-cheek hostility, this is hardcore at its most enticing and inventive.  Dead Cross is a serious kick in the pants that should thrill any fan of exciting music in general, and those who are enamored with any of the participants will find everything they're hoping for and more.  Make no mistake, this is a fiery bundle of lunatic rage where 9 out of 10 songs come up short of 3 minutes in length, yet no stone is left unturned.  Standout tracks include every fucking one of them, no bullshit whatsoever, my friends.

Final Grade: A+ 

Buy this shit now!!!!!!!

New Project, New Playlist/Soundtrack

I've mentioned this to some of my peers before so it may be a rehash, but if not, consider yourself privy to an inside look at the workings of a deranged writer's mind.  When I'm working on a project, I like to compile what I think of as a soundtrack for that tale.  Whenever I'm working on that material, I put on my headphones and rock out to the playlist I have prepared.  I feel like this helps me get in the groove and arrive at the same mindset whenever I work on that piece, so the vibe and the voice that I'm looking for are easier to summon.  That may seem perfectly rational to some of you, and it may seem like utter nonsense to others.  That's just how I work, and it does seem to help me get to where I need to be to sling some ink. 

Anyhow, I rarely share much about any project I'm dealing with while it is in progress, but I occasionally dish out the working title and the playlist.  I do this because I love my peeps and I like to share.  Such a reveal may pique your curiosity so far as the current story is concerned, and it may also inspire you to check out some groovy tunes.  With all this in mind, let's get right to it.  I'm currently throwing down a novel about the most nightmarish camping trip ever, and I'm thinking of calling it "Southern Fried Hell."

This is the soundtrack I've put together to keep me on track while I put five lovely souls through the ringer:

Cattle Car – Clutch

Don't Step On The Grass Sam - Steppenwolf

Green Valley -Puscifer

One Horse Town - Hank Williams III         

Some Days – Sturgill Simpson        

Maggie M'Gill - The Doors   

Head Down – Soundgarden

Beercan - Beck

Shake Your Foundations - AC/DC  

Maybe I Am Amused - Melvins

Blue Monkey Disco - Syrup

Down To This – Soul Coughing

Spill the Blood - Slayer

I'm Shakin' – The Blasters

I Ain't Living Long Like This – Waylon Jennings

Vulture – Iggy Pop

Small Bones, Small Bodies – Future of the Left

Killing Floor – Body Count

Throw It On Me – The Hives featuring Timbaland

This Is Violence – Soulfly

Collapse - Motograter

D7 - Nirvana

Short Attention Span Review: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

Short Attention Span Review: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

Some might label this film trash.  Some might describe it as a true masterpiece.  I tend to think that both views are accurate, and the potent blend of sleaze and artistry make it one of my favorite pictures.  The story is also a medley, with Beyond the Valley of the Dolls emerging as a parody, a melodrama, a skin flick, a musical, a comedy, and even a horror movie, all rolled into one.  Written by Roger Ebert (his sole credit as a screenwriter) and directed by softcore maestro Russ Meyer, this sordid affair is populated by zany characters and buoyed by solid performances.  It's a credit to Meyer's ability as a director that even the most absurd sequences are played straight by the talent involved.  In fact, the humor born of the rampant satire embedded in the piece works because no one involved treats it as camp.  Most impressive is the editing, with Meyer cutting, and cutting, and cutting, yielding several impressive montages and numerous scenes where dozens of shots are utilized to propel the action.  There are points where Meyer may cycle through as many as forty or fifty shots in a minute, and the results aren't choppy or jolting but rather sublime.  I also have to give the music some serious props and John LaZar's work as Ronnie "Z-Man" Barzell is a joy to behold.  Finally, the movie goes off the rails in a bonkers finale that firmly solidifies this one as cinematic gold.  Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is definitely one of the sleaziest movies ever made--and I also think that it's definitely one of the best movies ever made.

Final Grade: A+

Equal parts sleazy, quixotic, and masterful, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is wholly unique and totally entertaining.