Short Attention Span Review - Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Short Attention Span Review - Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Last week, I reviewed Forbidden World, a low-budget horror/sci-fi/action hybrid from cult cinema icon Roger Corman.  This week, I went back to the archives for another exercise in schlock from this producer with a passion for exploitation, Galaxy of Terror.  To call this zany outing a superior effort to Forbidden World would be a tremendous understatement, but that still doesn't make it a good movie.  The big difference is entertainment value, with this kooky affair delivering a lot fun for a couple of distinct reasons.  First, there is a lot of creativity involved, both in terms of plot and craftsmanship.  Secondly, Galaxy of Terror is batshit crazy.  A minute in, the picture goes off the rails.  In truth, it wasn't until the very end that the movie made any sense, and it's still a bit of a mess.  Fast-paced, gory as hell, and operating with a minimum of character development, this oddity's real saving grace is the cast.  Genre faves like Robert Englund, Sid Haig, and Grace Zabriskie are on board, with solid performers like Eddie Albert and Ray Walston leading the way.  They are menaced by an assortment of ghoulies, with the effects work that brings these oddities to life varying from shabby to . . . well, not too shabby, I guess.  The production design is far more impressive, but that should come as no surprise: that's where the one and only James Cameron cut his teeth.  I most certainly could have done without seeing Taaffe O'Connell getting raped by a giant maggot (you read that correctly), a scene good old Roger views as a shining accomplishment.  And there were definitely about five cartwheels too many in the big finale.  What can I say?  Galaxy of Terror is trash, good people, but it's also a good time at the movies for the right kind of crowd--namely, my kind of crowd.

Final Grade: C-

Wonky, silly, and cheap, Galaxy of Terror is nonetheless an entertaining B movie with a nifty cast and an abundance of gore.

Short Attention Span Review: Ready Player One

Short Attention Span Review: Ready Player One (2017)

Ready Player One is such a treat for the eyes.  It's also maybe the biggest love letter to pop culture of the 80s and 90s that we've ever seen (sorry, Stranger Things), and it also gives both video games and gamer culture a lot of love.  With all that in mind, it's easy to overlook the two biggest reasons to make time for this whimsical thrill ride.  First, it's Spielberg at his very best, and in my humble opinion, it may be the most impressive motion picture he has directed since his heyday in the years this sci-fi marvel  holds in such high regard.  Secondly, it's a quality story that somehow manages to honor all the various forms of media at the forefront of the tale while underscoring how reality trumps fantasy.  The effects are absolutely stupendous, and all the pop culture icons that litter the screen are represented well.  Those of us who treasure the 80s and 90s will be awed by the multitude of easter eggs in the mix, and spotting these loving little shoutouts is almost as much as fun as enjoying the riches of the tale itself.  Some of the various love letters amount to much more than cameos, and the sequence where the characters enter a legendary horror film may be the highlight of the show.  Honestly, while this picture seems tailor-made for those of us who lived through the 80s and 90s or children whose parents have educated them well on the folklore of our youth, it is so vibrant and exciting that even those who don't grasp many of the references will be delighted.  Some may claim that it's more of an homage to pop culture or video games than it is an original story, but I think that's unfair.  It's a powerful tale (I thought it was roughly akin to Willy Wonka for this generation) that uses these elements to fabulous effect while clearly presenting viewers with a thrilling vision that enthralls and entertains in equal measures. 


Final Score: A

It's not just a love letter to video games and the pop culture of the 80s and 90s, it's also Grade A Spielberg.

Short Attention Span Review - Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

Short Attention Span Review - Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

It is hard to look back at this one without acknowledging the tragedy that occurred during the making of the film, with Vic Morrow and two child actors perishing in a helicopter accident that also injured at least half a dozen others.  In addition to the heartbreaking toll, there were allegations of negligence, lengthy legal battles, and settlements, all of which only underscores how much this sad occurrence impacted the industry as a whole, much less the movie in question.  Still, I want to rate this one based on its merits, and while it is decidedly a mixed bag, it is a nice homage to the classic television show that has such an incredible legacy in the realm of science fiction.  There are four tales and a wraparound to consider, with the wraparound and the first story coming from John Landis.  The wraparound is one of my favorite things about the picture, and the first story is maybe the most powerful given the potent subject matter--and, unfortunately, it also carries a bit more weight because it is the segment wherein tragedy struck during the making of Twilight Zone: The Movie.  The second entry comes from none other than the mighty Spielberg, but I feel that it is the least striking.  The director goes heavy on whimsy and melancholy and he surely engineers a touching piece.  Hey, I love a nice feel-good moment as much as anyone, but it just doesn't fit with the vibe of the series as a whole (it is more in the Amazing Stories vein, which makes sense, I guess), and it is definitely at odds with the tone of this movie.  The third tale is a serious powerhouse from Joe Dante, and it is absolutely incredible, though George Miller somehow raised the bar with the final segment.  It is his "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" that the picture is best known for, and that piece hasn't lost any of its considerable momentum and tension.  It is a true masterpiece within the anthology format, and it should forever ensure this film of a legacy of its own in spite of its troubled history.  As a whole, Twilight Zone: The Movie is a gripping odyssey that is worthy of its title, and it offers viewers four unique journeys into a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.

Final Grade: B-

None of the stories are bad, and three of the four are certainly worthwhile.  There can be little doubt, however, that the fourth and final entry in this anthology soars above the others.

Shot Attention Span Review: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

Short Attention Span Review: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) 

I'm with those who believe the best science fiction out there is the most insightful and thought-provoking.  I'm less interested in groundbreaking effects than technological dilemmas or the notion of plumbing metaphysical mysteries through the lens of science.  That's why The Fifth Element didn't do a whole lot for me, and that's also why I wasn't all that keen on scoping Luc Besson's new sci-fi extravaganza out.  However, despite the absence of any big questions or startling discoveries, I found a lot to enjoy during my time with Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.  The plot has been trounced by most critics, but I didn't see it as hollow or illogical.  It may not have been complex or wildly original (like the zany effects, which did leave me breathless at times), but it was perfectly serviceable.  The visuals were mesmerizing, but much of my captivation stemmed from the creativity with which the effects were employed and not the mere presence of such vivacious eye candy.  Besson didn't just populate this picture with incredible creatures and sets, he found some really stirring ways to capture these elements.  In my opinion, Cara Delevingne gave the picture its center with an authoritative take on a role that could have emerged as more of a standard damsel in distress in the wrong hands.  I also enjoyed Dana DeHaan as Valerian.  He faced a bit of a backlash because many seemed to feel that a galactic hero/ladies man should have been played by someone like Idris Elba or The Rock.  No offense to those guys, but I found his presence here to be quite refreshing; the world is full of heroes and fellas with serious game, and believe it or not, most of them aren't muscle-bound hulks with classic good looks.  Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets raced along, exploring brave new worlds and steadily dishing out dope action scenes.  By no means would I herald this one as a genuine classic, but it is certainly one cool trip.  Blast off with Valerian, and you may not ponder any great mysteries of the mind, but you will most definitely enjoy the ride.

Final Grade: A-

I don't get the hate for DeHaan in the de facto lead role, but I felt that Cara Delevingne's performance laid the foundation for this mind-boggling odyssey.

 

Short Attention Span Review: Ex Machina (2014)

Short Attention Span Review: Ex Machina (2014)

Though it doesn't feature a lot of action, Ex Machina is a thoroughly captivating science fiction thriller that had me glued to the screen from start to finish.  Existing as a modern take on Frankenstein by way of artificial intelligence, it posed a lot of interesting questions and played hardball with the answers.  Essentially a three man (well, two men and one woman) show, the picture kept me guessing until the final reel.  Domhnall Gleeson made for a perfect lead, and I never knew whether he should place his trust in the likable but imposing mad genuis played by Oscar Isaacs or his charismatic creation as portrayed by Alicia Vikander.  And every time I thought I had pegged one of those characters as being worthy of his allegience, the plot would serve and I would find myself puzzling over the eventual outcome once more.  Stylishly directed by Alex Garland (who also wrote the script) and boasting rad effects, I found Ex Machina to be one groovy mindfuck.

Final Grade: A

Kooky and captivating, Ex Machina is a quality sci-fi film shot with vigor.

Short Attention Span Review: Rogue One (2016)

Short Attention Span Review: Rogue One (2016)

Rogue One is a different sort of Star Wars movie, and while the somber tone and the valiant sacrifices that punctuate the closing reel may not sit well with some, it cannot be denied this is one hell of a movie.  While the typical Star Wars picture is whimsical and far more gentle, Rogue One opts for an emphasis on grit and the perils of war.  Personally, I found this to be a sound decision, and by the time the film drew to a close, I was more invested in the material than I had been with any Star Wars movie since Luke lost his hand and Han became decor.  I'm not afraid to declare that this is easily the second-best Star Wars movie ever produced, and time may see it come to rival even The Empire Strikes Back.  The entire cast is worthy of praise, and this is due to the script as much as the talent involved.  Not since the original trilogy hit the scene have we witnessed so many rich characters with such captivating stories come together in this universe, and that desperate climax only serves to magnify the strength of the performances and the plot.  The effects are at an all-time high, the scope is clearly epic, and the significance of this standalone tale to the events depicted in the original that started it all cannot be overstated.  I greatly enjoyed Rogue One, and I was also greatly moved by it.  It exists both as a thrilling blockbuster and a thorough meditation on what it means to live and die for a cause.  Bonus points: in a series that has always found a way to give us a lovable droid to cherish, Rogue One gives us a cantankerous droid with a gift for sarcasm, and in doing so they may have topped R2-D2 and BB-8.  Seriously.  Also, there are a handful of cameos, to include Peter Cushing reprising the role of Grand Moff Tarkin thanks to some technical wizardry, and while it's nice to glimpse some familiar faces, it is Darth Vader's more substantial appearance that will have fans jumping out of their seats.  Vader has never been so badass, and Star Wars has seldom (if ever) found such an even blend of thrills and introspection.  Rogue One isn't just the best Star Wars movie to come along in a while, it's a damn good movie in general. 

Final Grade: A+

He may not be on the screen for long in Rogue One, but Vader's rage gives us one of the most impressive Star Wars moments of all time.

Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

A mild success upon its initial release, Russell Mulcahy's Highlander emerged as a cult classic and inspired a handful of inferior sequels and a goofy television series--and a couple of animated ventures too.  Christopher Lambert was a unique choice for the lead role, and while he would go on to play several action heroes in other movies after this franchise grew wings, none of those flicks would prove nearly as memorable.  In fact, aside from The Hunted, I'm not sure that any of them are any good, though a handful (Fortress, Knight Moves, and Gunmen) are at least watchable.  He does a fine job here, though he is overshadowed by the gifted Clancy Brown in what is likely his finest role.  Brown is simply impeccable as the Kurgan, a cold-blooded madman who is every bit as entertaining and quotable as he is imposing and loathsome.  Lambert is also upstaged at every turn by Sean Connery as his bold mentor, the spirited Ramirez.  I don't intend to downplay Lambert's contributions; as I stated before, this picture spawned quite the franchise, and several other actors would try (and fail) to fill his shoes in the lead role.  The direction by Russell Mulcahy, who had recently turned heads with his cheap but vivid shocker Razorback, gives the picture some serious punch.  The opening tracking shot in an arena and the dolly work on display during the grand finale are both truly spectacular, and Mulcahy invests a lot of energy into every frame.  Another big assist to Highlander comes courtesy of legendary rock act Queen, who put together one hell of an album in support of the film.  Finally, Gregory Widen's screenplay is inventive and brimming with drama, making Highlander stand out by virtue of the way it blends action, science fiction, fantasy, and romance together.  I fell in love with this picture the first time I saw it, and it's one of those rare gems that I seem to appreciate a little more every time I sit down to watch it.

Final Grade: A+

Lambert is solid in the lead role, but Clancy Brown steals the show as the fiendish villain--and Sean Connery also frequently upstages Lambert's MacLeod as his flamboyant mentor, Ramirez.