Short Attention Span Review: Den of Thieves (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: Den of Thieves (2018)

Honestly, I went into this one expecting a small caliber thrill ride, a generic cops and robbers flick with an emphasis on action.  To my surprise, I got a lot more.  It's not exactly Heat, but it might pass for Heat on steroids.  Den of Thieves boasts a nifty plot with at least one quality twist, and it is bookended by two spectacular action setpieces.  Gerard Butler headlines the show, giving anyone who has ever wondered what a corrupt and perhaps even deplorable version of Leonidas would be like the answer they seek.  This dude hunts bad guys at the expense of everything else, sacrificing both his humanity and his family ties in a single-minded quest to nail his prey.  Furthermore, there is no doubt that he does this because that's how he gets his rocks off, not because he has strong ideas about morality or some innate purpose born of aggresive nobility.  The bank robbers are led by a ripped Pablo Schrieber, a game 50 Cent, and a positively dazzling O'Shea Jackson, Jr., who damn near steals the show in spite of all the firepower on display.  This crew kills several cops in the opening reel--and yet they emerge as more humane than their counterparts with badges over the course of the film.  It's an interesting dynamic, and the complex medley of sleazy good guys and endearing bad guys allow writer and director Christian Gudegast to paint a vivid picture.  However, though the end result is a riveting showcase, it's a riveting showcase without a genuine rooting interest.  That is the movie's biggest flaw, but it never derails the excitement or lessens the drama.  It just won't leave you feeling warm and fuzzy at the end of the day, regardless of who comes out on top.  In summary, Den of Thieves falls short of being a rip-roaring crime epic, but rises well above the mediocre trappings of the action genre as we know it in 2018.

Final Grade: B

The scariest charater in this cops and robbers movie is Gerard Butler as the head honcho of a police task force.  He was pretty damn wretched in a lot ways, but Butler's charisma and commitment made this crude tough guy a joy to watch.

Short Attention Span Review: Hercules (2014)

Before I get started here, I should probably note that I have a soft sport for this particular sub-genre.  As a kid, I spent way too much time watching movies like Conan the Barbarian, The Beastmaster, and I even enjoyed those wacky Lou Ferrigno Hercules movies.  Okay, I confess: I also found time to watch Conan the Destroyer.  Forgive me.  I'm also a big fan of Dwayne Johnson, though I haven't enjoyed his movies as much as his work in the wrestling ring as the Rock.  Now, he was awesome in Pain & Gain and his first feature, The Rundown, showed a lot of promise.  Yet many of his choices have been a bit too generic for my taste, and as much as I dig these "swords and sandals" affairs, it's hard for me to get too fired up about anything directed by Brett Ratner.  So, my expectations were low going into this one and that may explain why I enjoyed it more than many of my peers.  Hey, it's no masterpiece, not by a long shot, and the end is a bit of a CGI clusterfuck, but I'm still going to recommend it.  First off, Ian McShane was a joy to watch as he gobbled up the scenery and stole pretty much every scene he was in.  Secondly, there's a wicked battle scene in the middle of the film that is certainly worth seeing, even if it does make that lackluster finish even more of a disappointment by comparison.  Finally, the notion of foregoing the mythical aspect of the title character's legacy and telling a somewhat grounded and action-driven story worked for me.  Alluding to the twelve labors many Hercules tales center on as little more than hyperbole and even casting doubt on his lineage, this Hercules is sort of a poor man's 300.  Thankfully it avoids the gimmicks that made that picture so unique--and that so many movies have done their best to ape ever since Zack Snyder hit the scene.  Ratner did an okay job, Johnson didn't have to flex his acting muscles all that much, but he also performed well, and the supporting cast was a joy to watch.  In conclusion, it's a shame the ending wasn't stronger, as the first two acts of this film were surprisingly fierce and highly entertaining.

Final Grade: C

"Come, let us layeth the smack down upon their asses!"