Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

A mild success upon its initial release, Russell Mulcahy's Highlander emerged as a cult classic and inspired a handful of inferior sequels and a goofy television series--and a couple of animated ventures too.  Christopher Lambert was a unique choice for the lead role, and while he would go on to play several action heroes in other movies after this franchise grew wings, none of those flicks would prove nearly as memorable.  In fact, aside from The Hunted, I'm not sure that any of them are any good, though a handful (Fortress, Knight Moves, and Gunmen) are at least watchable.  He does a fine job here, though he is overshadowed by the gifted Clancy Brown in what is likely his finest role.  Brown is simply impeccable as the Kurgan, a cold-blooded madman who is every bit as entertaining and quotable as he is imposing and loathsome.  Lambert is also upstaged at every turn by Sean Connery as his bold mentor, the spirited Ramirez.  I don't intend to downplay Lambert's contributions; as I stated before, this picture spawned quite the franchise, and several other actors would try (and fail) to fill his shoes in the lead role.  The direction by Russell Mulcahy, who had recently turned heads with his cheap but vivid shocker Razorback, gives the picture some serious punch.  The opening tracking shot in an arena and the dolly work on display during the grand finale are both truly spectacular, and Mulcahy invests a lot of energy into every frame.  Another big assist to Highlander comes courtesy of legendary rock act Queen, who put together one hell of an album in support of the film.  Finally, Gregory Widen's screenplay is inventive and brimming with drama, making Highlander stand out by virtue of the way it blends action, science fiction, fantasy, and romance together.  I fell in love with this picture the first time I saw it, and it's one of those rare gems that I seem to appreciate a little more every time I sit down to watch it.

Final Grade: A+

Lambert is solid in the lead role, but Clancy Brown steals the show as the fiendish villain--and Sean Connery also frequently upstages Lambert's MacLeod as his flamboyant mentor, Ramirez.

Short Attention Span Review: The 13th Warrior (1999)

I've always felt that this was one of those cases where a film with a troubled production was judged as much for the woes the filmmakers encountered during filming as for the picture itself.  While there can be no doubt that the shooting of the movie was anything but routine, the end result is a stirring affair that I greatly enjoy.  I should note a few things just so that we're clear, however, for I may be a bit biased:

1) Michael Crichton is one of my favorite authors. 
2) Antonio Banderas is one of my favorite actors.
3) I'm a sucker for movies like this. 

Having said all that, I still think that The 13th Warrior is a nifty film with a number of worthy performances and several exciting setpieces to go along with a gripping plot.  I've been down with Banderas since Desperado and this is one of his most entertaining roles.  He is surrounded by other talented actors who also nail their roles, most notably Vladimir Kulich as Buliwyf and Dennis Storhoi as Herger.  As far as adapting Crichton's neat little take on Beowulf is concerned, this is one of the more faithful efforts to bring this legendary author's work to the big screen that I have seen.  Bonus points: Eaters of the Dead was one of his coolest books.  The 13th Warrior is the story of an exiled Arab who must join forces with a band of rugged northmen as they embark on a journey to lend a besieged kingdom aid from a fearsome menace.  As such, it is packed with action, suspense, and intrigue.  The characters are likable, the enemies are gruesome, and The 13th Warrior races along at a brisk pace.  There's some quality gore in the mix and the realistic yet entertaining approach to the various battles presented throughout is highly effective.  I have read a great many reviews where critics ruthlessly trashed this picture, and I can't help but note that most of those reviews were more interested in the reshoots with Michael Crichton at the helm as opposed to director John McTiernan and the amount of time the film spent on the shelf prior to being released in 1999.  Don't be dissuaded by these critiques, as the movie's complicated making won't impact your ability to enjoy it.  Those who sit down to watch The 13th Warrior are rewarded with a riveting action flick featuring a hardened crew of robust heroes banding together against a most diabolical foe.  What's not to love?

Final Grade: B+

I'm a big fan of Antonio Banderas and I think it's very possible that
The 13th Warrior is the best film that he has starred in.

Conan the Valorous by John Maddox Roberts (from 1985)

Conan the Barbarian is one my favorite movies, weathered copies of The Savage Sword of Conan from the 70s bring me great joy, and paperback novels centered on everyone's favorite Cimmerian are always welcome in my home.  I have been reading these books for about as long as I've been reading and I still enjoy them.  The worst of the lot are trashy and formulaic, but Robert E. Howard did such a fine job of bringing Conan to life (as well as detailing the era in which he lived and defining the geography of this daring barbarian's world) that many of the books are definitive examples of what the fantasy genre is capable of producing.  Robert Jordan's take on the character is almost as revered as Howard's in this day and age, and I feel that Leonard Carpenter also had a real knack for detailing Conan's adventures.  John Maddox Roberts is another worthy author who has contributed to the cause, and his Conan the Valorous is of some significance to me because it's the only tale I've read that required Conan to return to Cimmeria.  It's a fun story that is a bit episodic in nature, paying homage to Howard's work with his brawny creation.  The real highlight of the book may be a fearsome clash between Conan and a magnificent bull that was imposing enough to be worshiped as a god.  This tense battle came hardly halfway through the book and had little to do with the primary thrust of the tale, which quickly gave way to a robust conclusion pitting Conan against armed soldiers, fantastic creatures, and demented sorcerers--another nod to Howard's approach to the genre.  Conan's eventual victory in this climactic showdown came a bit too easily in my humble opinion, and it was a bit strange to read such a book where someone other than our rugged hero got the girl at the end.  Still, Conan the Valorous was well-written and neatly plotted, and it was cool to see our fearless barbarian return home.  My favorite aspect of this novel may have been the way Roberts used the the hero's journey back to his homeland to show how Conan's youth in Cimmeria had shaped him.  Roberts allowed the character to reflect on his past while providing us with a look at his people doing what they do best--making war.  Most importantly, even as he paid tribute to Cimmeria, he did a fantastic job of showing us why Conan's passions would never allow him to settle down and remain among his people.  Canon the Valorous wasn't a great Conan adventure, but it was a solid book that benefited from its focus on Cimmeria. 

Final Grade: B-

Short Attention Span Review: Fire and Ice (1983)

 

There was a time when animated features weren't just for kids.  In fact, many countries still produce feature-length animation for mature audiences.  In the late 70s and early 80s, Ralph Bakshi was at the forefront of such cinema here in the states.  In my opinion, his finest offering was Fire and Ice, the groovy cartoon that emerged when Bakshi teamed with legendary artist Frank Frazetta to dream up an action-packed fantasy.  While it brings nothing groundbreaking to the table in terms of plot, the story is serviceable and the characters (Darkwolf in particular) are memorable.  The animation still ranks among the best that I've ever seen, with some exceptionally nimble rotoscoping yielding some sensational setpieces--to include several ultra-cool slow-motion sequences.  The backgrounds are stellar and the color palette is perfect for a fantasy epic.  Anyone with a taste for this type of material will have a blast with Fire and Ice, while those who don't like swordplay, dragons, or cartoons probably won't have a change of heart while watching this one.  Running a mere 81 minutes, Fire and Ice is brisk and lively.  It's glorious to look at, easy to follow, and it is overflowing with adventure and excitement.  There has been some discussion about a live-action adaptation of this piece courtesy of maverick director Robert Rodriguez and I can only hope that there is some substance to those rumors.  If not, at least I still have this kickass cartoon to enjoy.

Final Grade: B+

Conan + Batman = Darkwolf, who is appropriately awesome.

Short Attention Span Review: Hercules (2014)

Before I get started here, I should probably note that I have a soft sport for this particular sub-genre.  As a kid, I spent way too much time watching movies like Conan the Barbarian, The Beastmaster, and I even enjoyed those wacky Lou Ferrigno Hercules movies.  Okay, I confess: I also found time to watch Conan the Destroyer.  Forgive me.  I'm also a big fan of Dwayne Johnson, though I haven't enjoyed his movies as much as his work in the wrestling ring as the Rock.  Now, he was awesome in Pain & Gain and his first feature, The Rundown, showed a lot of promise.  Yet many of his choices have been a bit too generic for my taste, and as much as I dig these "swords and sandals" affairs, it's hard for me to get too fired up about anything directed by Brett Ratner.  So, my expectations were low going into this one and that may explain why I enjoyed it more than many of my peers.  Hey, it's no masterpiece, not by a long shot, and the end is a bit of a CGI clusterfuck, but I'm still going to recommend it.  First off, Ian McShane was a joy to watch as he gobbled up the scenery and stole pretty much every scene he was in.  Secondly, there's a wicked battle scene in the middle of the film that is certainly worth seeing, even if it does make that lackluster finish even more of a disappointment by comparison.  Finally, the notion of foregoing the mythical aspect of the title character's legacy and telling a somewhat grounded and action-driven story worked for me.  Alluding to the twelve labors many Hercules tales center on as little more than hyperbole and even casting doubt on his lineage, this Hercules is sort of a poor man's 300.  Thankfully it avoids the gimmicks that made that picture so unique--and that so many movies have done their best to ape ever since Zack Snyder hit the scene.  Ratner did an okay job, Johnson didn't have to flex his acting muscles all that much, but he also performed well, and the supporting cast was a joy to watch.  In conclusion, it's a shame the ending wasn't stronger, as the first two acts of this film were surprisingly fierce and highly entertaining.

Final Grade: C

"Come, let us layeth the smack down upon their asses!"