Short Attention Span Review: Ready Player One

Short Attention Span Review: Ready Player One (2017)

Ready Player One is such a treat for the eyes.  It's also maybe the biggest love letter to pop culture of the 80s and 90s that we've ever seen (sorry, Stranger Things), and it also gives both video games and gamer culture a lot of love.  With all that in mind, it's easy to overlook the two biggest reasons to make time for this whimsical thrill ride.  First, it's Spielberg at his very best, and in my humble opinion, it may be the most impressive motion picture he has directed since his heyday in the years this sci-fi marvel  holds in such high regard.  Secondly, it's a quality story that somehow manages to honor all the various forms of media at the forefront of the tale while underscoring how reality trumps fantasy.  The effects are absolutely stupendous, and all the pop culture icons that litter the screen are represented well.  Those of us who treasure the 80s and 90s will be awed by the multitude of easter eggs in the mix, and spotting these loving little shoutouts is almost as much as fun as enjoying the riches of the tale itself.  Some of the various love letters amount to much more than cameos, and the sequence where the characters enter a legendary horror film may be the highlight of the show.  Honestly, while this picture seems tailor-made for those of us who lived through the 80s and 90s or children whose parents have educated them well on the folklore of our youth, it is so vibrant and exciting that even those who don't grasp many of the references will be delighted.  Some may claim that it's more of an homage to pop culture or video games than it is an original story, but I think that's unfair.  It's a powerful tale (I thought it was roughly akin to Willy Wonka for this generation) that uses these elements to fabulous effect while clearly presenting viewers with a thrilling vision that enthralls and entertains in equal measures. 


Final Score: A

It's not just a love letter to video games and the pop culture of the 80s and 90s, it's also Grade A Spielberg.

Short Attention Span Review: Rampage (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: Rampage (2018)

As someone who played the video game this movie is based on in my youth, the news that this property was being developed into a film hit me like a ton of meh.  There wasn't much in the way of a plot so far as the game was concerned, and even after The Rock signed on to star in the picture, I just didn't see how this could be anything special.  I think I was expecting something more along the lines of Pixels, so I got a pleasant surprise when I took my son to see this one in the theater.  We revisited it on Blu-Ray this weekend with the whole fam, and my opinion hasn't changed: Rampage is a solid creature feature.  It's not quite on par with Kong: Skull Island, but it isn't too far off, and while I think the 2014 version of Godzilla is a superior movie, Rampage offers a lot more in the way of entertainment.  The effects were pretty awesome, there were some big laughs along the way, and anyone who enjoys seeing giant monsters run amok is guaranteed to enjoy the shenanigans that unfold in this nonsensical romp.  The Rock does a bang-up job in the lead role, investing a lot of heart into the picture, while most everyone else is relegated to playing a cliche aside from George, the albino gorilla/CGI spectacle who enjoys quite a bromance with our star.  Genre fans will likely enjoy the little Predator homage embedded in the first act, and the last reel is a cinematic bombardment of carnage on an epic scale.  Perhaps most impressive is the fact that the movie manages to tell an interesting tale and deliver some serious kicks while also finding a way to pay homage to the simplistic video game it is based upon.  While I'm a big fan of The Rock as a personality, I have often found his filmography to be a bit lacking, and I surely didn't expect Rampage to offer anything new and different.  In truth, it didn't, but those who enjoy my blog should know by now that I'm sucker for a creature feature, and I'm not one to throw stones at a servicable B movie.  This is both of those things, and it is also one of The Rock's most enjoyable offerings.

Final Grade: B+

Surprisingly, Rampage emerges as a solid creature feature and one of The Rock's  most entertaining movies.

Short Attention Span Review - Tron (1982)

Fun, colorful, and thoroughly unique, Tron remains an exciting motion picture experience that is equal parts cool and curious.  Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner, and David Warner are among the gifted performers appearing in this Disney classic, but the real star of the picture has to be the stellar effects.  The computer world that is the setting for most of the movie is realized due to an inventive process that yields an amazing product that will never be duplicated.  Despite arriving at the very infancy of modern computer effects (the Academy supposedly refused to consider nominating Tron for its special effects work because the use of computers was considered "cheating"), the jazzy blend of kooky sets, computer graphics, and black and white photography that was subsequently animated is still a joy to behold.  The plot is a cool medley of corporate intrigue and video game glory, the score is bold, and the action sequences are riveting.  Tron is a great example of imagination and technical wizardry joining forces to tell a dynamic story.  There's little to complain about when it comes to this beloved film that was widely viewed as a flop upon its release.  Maybe the characterizations are fairly routine and suspense is often generated at the expense of drama.  Honestly, it doesn't really matter.  The characters are likable enough and this is a picture that is more interested in blowing minds than enriching them.  In somewhat of a surprise, time has been rather kind to Tron and those who enjoy science fiction and family time may have a hard time finding a better movie to share with their loved ones.  

Final Grade: A

Jeff Bridges may have been the budding star in 1982
and Bruce Boxleitner may have played the titular character,
but David Warner nearly stole the show as the icy villain in Tron.

Is the new Aliens game really that bad?

Absolutely.  I'm not even going to waste my time with a review, I'm just going to share a few moments with you.

1) Truthfully, this one is all on me, but I think it was an omen.  Early on, I was simply trying to master the controls.  I was facing bullet-proof glass when I pressed the right bumper on my 360 controller to see what would happen.  In my defense, the right trigger fires your weapon, and I didn't expect similar results from the bumper as well.  That doesn't change the fact that I shot the glass and the bullet rebounded directly into my face.  My character collapsed as a stirring bit of scripted narration began and I couldn't help but laugh.

2) At one point, I crept up behind one of the aliens.  Now, one should never be able to sneak up behind an alien, but that's precisely what I did.  As if that wasn't bad enough, I then killed said alien by shooting it. 
A great many times. 
And it never reacted. 
It actually just sat there wagging its tail (I'm not making that up) while I killed it.  Yes, the AI on this game is a bit lacking.

3) A particularly difficult stretch of the game repeatedly found me being massacred by multiple aliens while a fellow soldier stood nearby, speaking to our commander on the radio.  He confidently assured the chief "We got this" while I was being ripped to shreds.  This happened several times.  After a while, it was no longer funny.

4) The graphics in this game are so lackluster that there were a couple of big moments that I failed to comprehend because I couldn't tell what had just happened.  It was kind of like trying to decipher a small child's drawing, only with sound effects.

Okay, in all seriousness, let me say this: the people who made this game dumped enough material linked to the classic movie (Cameron's sequel, not Ridley Scott's dull original) to hold my interest.  The sounds (the weapons, the motion tracker, the aliens themselves, etc.) are on point, as are the sets.  And, though it is a lousy first-person shooter, it is just good enough to allow me to continue to play.  So, in essence, it's not the worst game ever made, as many are saying, but it is a bad game that probably should have been a great game.

Now you know.

WWE 13 Part II

So, let it be known: everything I said about WWE 13 last week when I was just getting started is completely true.  I'm tempted to say that I feel the same way about this title as Chris Jericho feels about the championship belt.
Truth: this game is even better than I initially thought it was.  I can't stop playing it, and my children are having a blast with it too.  It's not just that they want to play either.  When I'm doing the Attitude Era tasks and trying to unlock various characters, belts, venues, and matches, they might as well be watching a live show.
Taryn is 4, and she keeps coming up to me and saying "Daddy, why don't you play the wrestling game?"  Alaina is 6 and she can't wait to play another Royal Rumble.  She thinks it's the greatest thing ever.  I shouldn't be too surprised; the Royal Rumble has always been my favorite event to watch, and it has also always been my favorite event to play on a video game.  The Elimination Chamber earns a close second on both of those counts.  Ash isn't even 2 yet and he's getting in on the fun as well.  We are having a great time with WWE 13.
I don't mean to gush, but this game is utterly fantastic.  Reliving some of my favorite storylines from the last twenty years is incredible.  You get vintage video packages to build up the event, you're given a list of achievements (it is necessary to complete these to unlock content) which basically rewards you for playing out the match as it was scripted, and many of these segments come complete with highlight reels from the actual match.  Now, that's cool enough, but THQ has gone even further in their pursuit of a stellar wrestling game.  When you pick up your controller and jump into these matches, segments of the actual commentary play.  This includes spots from guest commentators like Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Rock.  It's super cool, and it makes you wonder when this same approach will be applied to some of the sports titles on the market. 
I wasn't a big fan of the last WWE game, and I know that many of you weren't either.  All I can say is this: believe the hype.  If you were waiting for the verdict on WWE 13 before you snagged a copy, don't wait any longer.  All of the good things you're hearing are true.  I could also go on and on about the gameplay and the graphics, which are superb, but the thought and the ingenuity that went into the presentation are what make WWE 13 a title worth raving about.  Get in the ring! 

Alaina Rachel trying to eliminate her opponent in the Royal Rumble

Tiny Gamer, Splendid Wife

So, my beloved wife hooked me up with WWE 13 tonight, and it's looking they've finally gotten it right again.  In my opinion, the last truly epic wrestling game was Wrestlemania 2000, but I'm a Jerichoholic, so take that for what it's worth.  That's not my point anyway.  My point is WWE 13 seems like a real winner.
I love the so-called "Attitude Era" of professional wrestling, and the way THQ has married archive footage and audio to gameplay scenarios is a great idea.  It's a nostalgic treat for old fans like myself, and it'll be like a history lesson for the younger fans.
I'm just getting started, but the graphics are sharp, the presentation is crisp, and the gameplay is stellar.  I think this is going to be a late night and I think it's safe to call WWE 13 a hit.
But you don't have to take my word for it.  Check out my main man, Ash. 

 

He thinks it's a terrific game.  He made some tiny little man sounds to that effect
.
Also, I should note that this spectacular wife of mine, who did indeed score WWE 13 for me tonight, also scored me Van Halen tickets for our anniversary.

And, I should also point out that this same woman also got me tickets to see the Seattle defense beat up the Panthers.

She's a marvel and a blessing, and I'm so very thrilled to call her mine.  She's going to have a hard time topping 2012, that's for sure.
I think she's going to need FNM to pitch in and do a legitimate U.S. tour to pull it off.