Saturday, February 21, 2015

Short Attention Span Review: I, Frankenstein (2014)

Wow.  Just wow.  How did this movie even get made?  I'm watching it wondering how anyone involved got through the first five pages of the script without firing their agent just for suggesting they take part in I, Frankenstein.  Making matters worse, once the opening reel made it clear that this was going to be a movie where the Frankenstein monster got embroiled in an eternal struggle between demons and gargoyles, I couldn't even enjoy this in a "so bad that it's good" kind of way.  It was too bad for that.  The CGI was like something from an episode of Charmed, the demon make-up was very Buffy-esque, and the plot got worse with every minute that passed.  The drama this Frankenstein monster/demons/gargoyles saga was able to generate suffered for a great many reasons.  Having said that, here are the three most damning issues that the movie faced: 1) the Frankenstein monster was stupid, 2) the demons were very stupid, and 3) the gargoyles were so stupid that they almost made the demons and the Frankenstein monster seem intelligent.  Aaron Echkart was game throughout, though at some point he certainly realized that this lame attempt at a franchise was a true turd--I could see it in his eyes.  The harder he tried in spite of this, the worse I felt for the poor guy.  I feel like he was looking in the mirror every night after shooting saying, "I got ripped for this?"  Yet he soldiered on, carrying Bill Nighy and everyone else involved further and further into the abyss with every valiant step forward that he took.  If you're thinking about watching this one anytime soon, don't.  Save yourself.

Final Grade: F-

Yo Herman, what did you think of I, Frankenstein?

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