Short Attention Span Review: Paranoiac (1963)

Short Attention Span Review: Paranoiac (1963)

Typically, when we fright fans think about Hammer, we recall Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee duking it out in their classic takes on such notable horror staples as Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy.  It is easy to forget that the studio also produced a number of remarkable features that run the gamut from eerie thrillers to subdued chillers.  Paranoiac is a 1963 picture directed by Freddie Francis, starring a young Oliver Reed at his unstable best.  Reed smirks, schemes, sweats, and twitches his way through this stunning black and white composition that stands somewhere between Psycho and a devilish whodunit.  The cinematography is crisp and compelling, the score is dark and somewhat insidious, and all of the characters aside from Janette Scott as Eleanor Ashby are harboring dark secrets that slowly come to light.  As the movie nears its dramatic conclusion, the shocks come fast and furious, and there are a few terrifying moments embedded in what is mostly a stark and calculating mystery.  Paranoiac is a fun film to revisit, and it remains suspenseful and ominous even in this modern era of dazzling effects and heightened immersion.  It is a throwback, yes, but it is a throwback to a time when there were no big scares courtesy of CGI delights, a time when filmmakers worked hard to terrify audiences with sinister plots and impeccable craftsmanship.  Such ventures often age well, and that is surely the case with this 1963 spookshow.

Final Grade: B+

Paranoiac is creepier than one might suspect--this mask design is pretty chilling for a 1963 thriller.

Short Attention Span Review: Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Short Attention Span Review: Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Max Landis did something new and interesting with his script for Victor Frankenstein and director Paul McGuigan gave the picture a great look, but the two leads (James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe) are really what make this one click.  Narrowing the focus for this take on the classic story to Victor and Igor (with Igor taking center stage) could have been disastrous, but the witty script, the bold visuals, and a pair of quality performances make this one of the most entertaining Frankenstein pictures out there.  The film is told largely from Igor's perspective and Radcliffe is fine in this role, but it is safe to say that McAvoy's bold scientist with a hunger for forbidden fruit dominates the proceedings.  Andrew Scott also makes quite an impact as a devout detective who is determined to thwart Frankenstein's devilish dealings with science, and Charles Dance is commanding in an impressive cameo.  Also impressive in what amounts to little more than a cameo is Frankenstein's creature, and while he only appears briefly in the closing reel, the design in play and the effects that bring this monstrosity to life are both incredible to behold.  That finale was also quite a spectacle, and surely no other Frankenstein film can offer up such an action-packed conclusion.  While I can be a bit of a purist when it comes to adapting material like this, I actually found Victor Frankenstein to be one of the most rewarding spins on the timeless mythos that I have beheld, and I don't think there are many versions of this tale that I'm unfamiliar with.  It's a bit less frightening than the standard approach, but far more entertaining--and while it makes drastic alterations to Mary Shelley's story, Victor is basically the same character and the big questions regarding life and death that fuel his descent into madness are well-preserved.  Those questions are the backbone of the Frankenstein legacy, and this film stands as proof that they are still potent enough to anchor a thrilling horror opus.

Final Grade: A-

This spin on the classic tale is centered on the relationship between Victor and Igor, and stars James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe work hard to make this fresh approach an exciting success.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #12) Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

One of the things that I'm doing this month as I celebrate Halloween here in the Land of Way is taking the time to rank my Top 20 Horror Movies and my Top 20 Horror Novels.

Note:
I want to be clear that I'm basing these choices on my own humble opinion.  I'm not trying to rank these movies in accordance with their place in pop culture, but I'm offering up my take on the best horror films that I have ever watched and enjoyed.  There are some familiar candidates that I consider to be great pictures that didn't make the cut because there wasn't room, and there are some films that are widely regarded as great pictures that didn't make the cut because I feel that they are overrated.  There are also a few instances where it was difficult to determine whether or not a movie belonged to the horror genre (I said "no" to Aliens but "yes" to Jaws), and it may also be worth noting that this is largely a modern list (as long as you're okay with my classification of modern as anything after 1960) that only features one lonely creature from the so-called "Classic Monsters" films produced by Universal Studios.

Thus far, the list includes:

#20) The Fly (1986) 
#19) The Howling (1981)
#18) Night of the Living Dead (1968)
#17) Alien (1979) 
#16) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
#15) Suspiria (1977) 
#14) Phantasm (1979)
#13) Evil Dead 2 (1985)

Let's turn the clock back a bit.  In fact, let's turn the clock way back to the days when Universal Studios sat atop the mountain so far as horrific cinema was concerned.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #12) Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

I love all of the "Classic Monsters" and I'm not here to throw shade at Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, or any other ghoulish menace who ran with that Universal Studios crew.  I am here to anoint the scaly fiend who terrorized the crew of the good ship Rita as my personal favorite of the bunch.  I also feel that his movie is the coolest, and I think it's a bit odd that he's the only representative of that era who hasn't seen his saga officially updated for modern audiences.  Of course, given the strength of this picture, maybe it's better that way.  The Creature from the Black Lagoon is a whimsical and exciting horror film that boasts stellar cinematography, giving genuine meaning to the phrase "in glorious black and white."  The creature design is incredible, and the meticulous application of the costume yields one of the best-looking monsters of all time.  The creature's presence on screen is still rather breath-taking more than sixty years after The Creature from the Black Lagoon was released.  A strong cast that includes Richard Carlson and Julie Adams helped director Jack Arnold breathe life into this fascinating classic that features some of the best underwater photography that you'll ever see.  More so than any of the other beloved horror films that Universal produced, I think there's something magical about The Creature from the Black Lagoon that extends beyond the unique look of the titular menace and the technical prowess on display.  The themes concerning the environment and science that run just beneath the surface never distract us from the wonder that the picture inspires.   The creature is both fearsome and sympathetic, giving the film additional depth and conflict.  Creature from the Black Lagoon is a rich and rewarding motion picture that is still impressive to behold, and there's no way I could make a list like this without including it. 

Man, oh man, do I love that creature design!  It still looks great in this dazzling era of modern effects.

Short Attention Span Review: I, Frankenstein (2014)

Wow.  Just wow.  How did this movie even get made?  I'm watching it wondering how anyone involved got through the first five pages of the script without firing their agent just for suggesting they take part in I, Frankenstein.  Making matters worse, once the opening reel made it clear that this was going to be a movie where the Frankenstein monster got embroiled in an eternal struggle between demons and gargoyles, I couldn't even enjoy this in a "so bad that it's good" kind of way.  It was too bad for that.  The CGI was like something from an episode of Charmed, the demon make-up was very Buffy-esque, and the plot got worse with every minute that passed.  The drama this Frankenstein monster/demons/gargoyles saga was able to generate suffered for a great many reasons.  Having said that, here are the three most damning issues that the movie faced: 1) the Frankenstein monster was stupid, 2) the demons were very stupid, and 3) the gargoyles were so stupid that they almost made the demons and the Frankenstein monster seem intelligent.  Aaron Echkart was game throughout, though at some point he certainly realized that this lame attempt at a franchise was a true turd--I could see it in his eyes.  The harder he tried in spite of this, the worse I felt for the poor guy.  I feel like he was looking in the mirror every night after shooting saying, "I got ripped for this?"  Yet he soldiered on, carrying Bill Nighy and everyone else involved further and further into the abyss with every valiant step forward that he took.  If you're thinking about watching this one anytime soon, don't.  Save yourself.

Final Grade: F-

Yo Herman, what did you think of I, Frankenstein?

Notes from Indiana

I spent a few days in Indiana helping a good friend with what will soon be his new home.  He recently bought the place and we were just taking a few steps toward making it nice and cozy.  Here are a few of the highlights from my grand journey with the great Rudolfo.

-Spending somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hours in a box truck with Rudy was like combining one of the best history classes ever (topics we covered included early presidents, the Revolution, the Civil War, the Alamo, Custer, and so much more) with the Cannonball Run.

-West Virginia State Trooper interrogation:
Trooper: What are you hauling?
Rudy: Furniture.
Trooper: (suspicious) Furniture?  What kind of furniture?
Rudy: Furniture to put in a house.  Dressers, nightstands, stuff like that.
Trooper: (eyes narrow) Did you make it?
Rudy: Um, . . . no.
We got off with a warning.

-Those who know me well know that I don't dig heights or working with electricity.  So there I was, perched on a ladder, attaching a live wire to Rudy's house.

-A boy from the country operated a chainsaw for the first time.  On a roof.  While sweating bullets because I was standing on a slope.  True story.  Man, I dig heights.

-Touring Summitville with Rudy and Tabby in the convertible.  Top down? Check.  Sunglasses on? Check.  Summitville is so very Haddonfield, Illinois, and it's always growing.  It doubled in size during our little tour.

-Eating various meals with Rudy's in-laws, Tom and Lois Kilgore.  I'm a fan of corn, but fresh corn from Indiana--wow!  Also, sugar cream pie.  Boom!  My response when Lois asked if I would like another slice: "Only a fool would say no to that."  Tom and Lois really made me feel at home, both the company and the food were nothing short of fantastic.  I can't thank them enough for their hospitality.

-Mowing the grass with "Frankenstein", the riding mower Rudy cobbled together from various sources.  I think you could mow bamboo stalks with that beast.

-Bella, the pirate pug.  Awesome pet, and one hell of a road dog.

-Indiana is different, and I'm not just saying that because it's flat.  I'm not going to throw rocks at my hometown, but I was amazed that there was no litter anywhere along the road.  The yards were freshly mowed, and there was no debris anywhere.  It was so quaint and it reeked of pride, which are good things, yet it almost felt like an episode of The Twilight Zone at times.  The reason why is simple enough: the grass police are on it.  Seriously, you might be unloading a box truck and trying to get some furniture in your new house when you get your first warning. 

All things considered, it was a neat trip.  Good people of Indiana, you're doing a fine job, but stay on top of the grass situation or you'll be next.

Weird Dreams - 8/24/2012 Edition

I'm a deranged horror author, so it should come as no surprise that I have lots of nightmares and weird dreams.  There's some strange stuff happening inside my cranium, and sometimes my nocturnal escapades are so bizarre that I feel the need to share them.

So, last night I dreamed that my good friend Dave Scearce (a swell guy and one of the best bassists around) took me to see a comedian perform at a stone amphitheater.  The comedian was a figment of my imagination and not an actual comedian, and I can't remember if he was any good or not.  Besides, it wasn't important to the dream.  Anyway, we were watching this guy perform and I got up to go to the bathroom.  Suddenly, I became weightless, and I began to float upward.  I reached a height of maybe forty or fifty feet, and then this zero gravity phase of my dream came to an abrupt halt.  I plummeted downward, terrified, and slammed into the cruel rock surface that the amphitheater was composed of.

This left me with a mangled arm that was bleeding freely and a deep gash in my head that was bleeding even worse than the mangled arm.  Making matters worse, I began vomiting up blood.  Lots of blood.  Dave was quick to lend a hand, and he rushed me to the hospital.  I told him not to call Kristen (my wife) until we saw a doctor because I was hoping that it wasn't that bad and I didn't want to scare her.  This while I continued to gush blood from my wounds and puke up lots and lots of blood repeatedly.

Once we got to the hospital, we had to wait a while, but finally the doctor hit the scene.  He looked like a normal enough guy, but I knew things had taken a turn for the worse when he introduced himself as Dr. Frankenstein.  My misgivings were confirmed when he pulled a gun on me and said, "My prescription: one round to the base of your skull to put you out of your misery."

At that point, I looked to Dave and acknowledged that it was time to call my wife. 

. . . . .

Anyone who wants to offer me some meaningful insight into that absurdity is welcome to do so.

"It's alive! It's alive!"

Here's some intriguing news on the film front: there's a revisionist Frankenstein film in the works, and Harry Potter himself is circling the part of Igor. 

Adding to the intrigue, the man who provided the script is none other than Max Landis, son of legendary director John Landis.  The role of Igor is integral to his version of the Mary Shelley classic, and Daniel Radcliffe was quick to dismiss the notion that the picture would be anything resembling a faithful adaption. 

The property has yielded many movies over the years, none more impressive than the 1931 original.  Many of my favorites have been films that strayed from the material, so I'm curious to see what Landis has to offer, and the notion of Radcliffe taking on a central role is enticing.  I thought he did a stellar job in 2012's The Woman in Black, which was vastly underrated. 

I'm a fan of the classics, and the industry mostly consists of recycling anyway, so if and when this Frankenstein hits the screen, I'll be there.  It sounds like something new and different, and maybe it's time for a fresh take on a familiar favorite.