Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Having seen this masterpiece three times now, to include two showings at the theater, I feel that I am not rushing to judgment when I declare Avengers: Infinity War to be the best comic book movie of all time.  This is an instant classic, peeps, and it stands as one of the greatest cinematic achievements I have ever had the privilege of enjoying.  This is undoubtedly the biggest such spectacle ever presented on film, but with the superhero genre, in particular, we have often seen that too many ingredients spoil the dish.  That's not the case here, and this stands as the perfect culmination of everything we've seen from Marvel since they took the reins and established their cinematic universe.  Virtually everyone is on board, and everyone is given a worthy role.  Seeing these characters pair up and watching them spar with one another and the biggest bad ever seen in a motion picture is an absolute joy.  The script is flawless, with the feature displaying incredible depth and showcasing some of the best action setpieces we've ever seen, yet still managing to deliver an abundance of humor and several massive emotional beats along the way.  It's impossible to pick a standout as everyone brings their A-game and the Russo brothers make such marvelous (forgive me) use of all their talents.  I will say that the moment when the Guardians of the Galaxy hit the scene puts a tremendous smile on my face, and I do a fist pump every time grizzled Cap enters the fray.  But there's so much more--I also delight in Thor's MVP role in the proceedings, and you just can't oversell Josh Brolin's artistry in creating one of the most imposing and relatable villains imaginable.  I also loved seeing Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, and Okoye join forces, and that gut-wrenching climax is the stuff of legend.  Marvel has given a new generation an Empire Strikes Back experience times ten, though thankfully modern audiences won't have to wait three whole years to see the good guys rise from the ashes.  Marvel keeps raising the bar with their movies, but it is hard to imagine anyone topping this feast for the senses.  Like everyone else, I can't wait for the sequel, and even though I've just watched Avengers: Infinity War for the third time, I can't wait to watch it again either.  Best comic book movie ever.  Word life.

Final Grade: A+

Brolin's work as Thanos is amazing, and the unlikely decision to make him the true star of the picture makes Avengers: Infinity War the greatest comic book movie ever made.

Top 10 Marvel Movies

So, this list doesn't simply refer to the movies that Marvel has produced, but I'm also including any movie featuring a Marvel comic book character.  X-Men are welcome here, as well as Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and Blade.  I am excluding Conan, but that's pretty much it, and I think it makes sense to leave Robert E. Howard's beloved barbarian out of the mix.  Additionally, I'm not looking at box office results or other people's reviews.  These are my personal favorites and I'm sure that many people will see things differently.  I'm aware that I'm pretty heavy on the new stuff when we get to the top of the list, but I think that Marvel has recently upped the ante in a big way.  I'll also point out that if I felt that the Daredevil series on Netflix was eligible for consideration, it would surely own a spot on this list.  Please check that show out if you haven't already done so.

Verily, I say unto thee, these are my Top 10 Marvel Movies:

10 - Blade (1998)
I think a lot of people have forgotten about Blade.  This movie was a big hit and it totally rocks.  When I hear people talk about how either the X-Men or Iron Man started this current comic book movies craze, I wonder if they've seen Wesley Snipes killing it as Marvel's premiere vampire slayer.

9 - Spider-Man (2002)
I'm a big fan of Sam Raimi's work with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.  More on that later.  Like many, I wish it would have been possible to utilize the Green Goblin's classic look from the comics, but Willem Dafoe was amazing in the role despite a clunky outfit.  Great story, great effects--great movie!

8 - Iron Man (2008)
Hello there, Robert Downey Jr., welcome to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  This perfect exercise in casting brought these movies to another level.  Having Jeff Bridges along for the ride was a pretty good call as well.  Fun, quirky, and action-packed, this one definitely paved the way for the movies sitting at the top of my list.

7 - X2: X-Men United (2003)
X-Men was cool.  X2 is amazing.  I love the villains, I love the script, and despite numerous attempts to do more with the character, this is the best representation of Wolverine that we've seen on the screen to date. 

6 -Spider-Man 2 (2004)
It is entirely possible that the big brawl pitting Spidey against Doc Ock atop a moving train is still the finest fight scene that we've seen in any comics-inspired film, but that's not the only reason I put this one on my list.  The story is first-rate, the acting is spectacular, and this is one of Raimi's best features.  That's high praise.

5 - X-Men: First Class (2011)
Incredibly cool, riveting, and witty, this is the best X-Men movie we've gotten thus far.  I know that a lot of you enjoyed X-Men: Days of Future Past a lot more than I did (don't get me wrong, I liked it a lot) but it just didn't do as much for me as this thought-provoking and ass-kicking thrill ride. 
Bonus points: Michael Fassbender is superb.  I love Magneto's storyline in this film.  Ian McKellan was also incredible in the role, but Fassbender absolutely steals the show in First Class.

4 - The Avengers (2012)
If you didn't experience a nerdgasm while watching Earth's Mightest Heroes join forces in 2012, you're not a true nerd.  At the time, I thought there was no way that Marvel could top this magnificent blockbuster.

3 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Then we got this splendid thriller.  The plot is wicked, the action is relentless, and somehow Marvel found a way to improve upon The Avengers.  This feat grows even more impressive when you consider that they managed to do so with Captain America front and center.  I love Cap, but I thought that his first film wasn't one of Marvel's elite productions.  It was good, but it wasn't in the same league as many of their other efforts.  Then they brought in the Winter Soldier and blessed us with this gem.

2 - Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Last week, Marvel hit us with their second Avengers movie, and they somehow crafted a sequel that was bigger and better than the first one.  This is officially the first Marvel movie that I watched twice on opening day.  I've watched several of these flicks more than once in the theater, but this one was so awesome that I went back for a second helping. 
Bonus points: the second time out I got to enjoy Avengers: Age of Ultron in IMAX 3-D.  Holy wow.

1 - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
When this film was first announced, I was curious.  When they named James Gunn as director, I figured it would be pretty cool.  Yet I never expected it to emerge as Marvel's coolest cinematic offering.  Truthfully, Guardians of the Galaxy is about as entertaining as movies get.  It's energetic and joyous, and it somehow topped everything else on this list while drawing from an obscure property. 

. . .

Please feel free to chime in on my choices and offer up your own.

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Marvel continues to kick DC's ass on the big screen with Avengers: Age of Ultron, a massive spectacle that is thoroughly entertaining from start to finish.  I'm more of a Marvel guy than a DC guy, but I'm also a comic book fanboy at large, so I'm excited when any superhero makes an appearance in theaters.  I liked Man of Steel and Nolan's Batman trilogy was damn impressive.  Yet Marvel annihilated DC's best film adaptations with the first Avengers movie, and they have somehow managed to produce a sequel that is even bigger and better.  First off, I love Loki and Tom Hiddleston has been one of the Marvel cinematic universe's coolest discoveries.  Yet Loki is a trickster and he has never been the supreme badass that Ultron is.  In truth, it is quite possible that Ultron has been the most daunting villain that the Avengers have ever faced in the comics, and they've squared off against Galactus, Thanos, Dr. Doom, and any other Marvel villain worthy of a showdown with the Earth's mightiest heroes.  Accordingly, though the movie version of Ultron is a CGI creation, he towers over most villains of the cinema, largely due to James Spader's fantastic voice work.  I remember thinking that nabbing Spader for such a gig was a good thing when I first heard about it, but it's better than that, it's a great thing.  It's a perfect thing.  Spader kills it and the story allows Ultron to be as menacing and as intriguing as he should be.  Of course, everyone fares well in this picture and that's a tremendous credit to Joss Whedon's screenplay and his fantastic work at the helm.  It must be supremely difficult to take so many significant characters and try and come up with an arc for each of them and ensure that everyone gets to shine when it's time for the good guys and the bad guys to throw down.  That's exactly what Whedon has managed to do, however, as I found myself thoroughly invested in everyone's story and utterly thrilled at all the marvelous action taking place.  This truly is an Avengers movie; it's a team effort where every hero and villain is integral to the epic story which unfolds in remarkable fashion.  Maybe Iron Man plays a bigger role than anyone else, or maybe it's actually Hawkeye who benefits the most from the fantastic script.  Of course, it could be the Black Widow, or the Hulk, or Cap, or--you get the point, right?  Oh, and then there's Iron Man donning his Hulkbuster armor to go mano a mano with the big green guy.  Wow.  And the big finale?  Double wow.  Avengers: Age of Ultron is just a marvelous movie with a magnificent cast, a great director, sensational effects, and a wonderful villain squaring off against the greatest band of comic book heroes we'll ever see together on the big screen.  Go see this one as soon as you possibly can.

Final Grade: A+

Ultron is the supreme badass that he should be and it is amazing that
James Spader was able to do so much for the part with his voice.

Thor is a Woman and the Comic Industry's Love for Publicity Stunts

If you haven't heard yet, Thor is set to become a woman.  No, he's not getting a sex-change, though I imagine it's only a matter of time before Marvel or DC does something like that with one of their signature characters.  Someone else (someone with a vagina) is going to take the hammer and replace the Thor many of us know and love.  I suppose this makes perfect sense; the character has only thrilled millions upon millions of readers (and cinema patrons) since 1962.  This comes after recent reports that we're also going to see a new Captain America shortly, with the odds-on favorite to wear the shield being Falcon.  A female Thor is a definite, a black Captain America is likely.

Yawn.

Look, I don't care what color a comic book character is, nor do I care about the character's gender.  Yet as a Spider-Man fan, I can assure those of you who aren't keen on comics that shit like this is the medium's biggest flaw.  Spider-Man and Batman have probably suffered more than most in this regard, though Superman has also been a frequent victim of the industry's love affair with publicity stunts.  Sometimes it's just about shaking things up dramatically and sometimes I think they really do things just to piss fans off, knowing the ensuing uproar will make enough noise to translate into sales to curious parties who just want to know what all the fuss is about.  Give me another logical explanation for the the Clone Saga, perhaps the most wretched of all these affairs, or that "One More Day" nonsense--which seemed to be engineered solely for the purpose of taking a shot at doing something fans would loathe more than the Clone Saga.

Look, it sells, and I get that, and when you're as big as Marvel or DC, there will always be new readers--so who cares if you turn the old readers off?  Yet comic fans are loyal, spending entirely too much money on their hobby.  Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here.  We are passionate about comics and we have absurd hypothetical discussions about them on a regular basis.  If you don't believe me, ask a Batman fan how the caped crusader would fare in a fight against another comic book character.  Hell, ask them how he would fare in throwdown with God himself and they're going to tell you that with enough planning and the right strategy and equipment Bats would win.

I guess that's why I hate the publicity stunt nonsense so much.  It sells, it's good for business in that sense, and the effects are usually only temporary, but it's like a thumb in the eye to the fans who pay the company's bills.  Dude with a thousand Thor comics and a tattoo of Odin's favorite son on his bicep doesn't want his boy to get replaced by a girl.  Batman's biggest fan doesn't want to read about Bats getting his back snapped like a twig by some second-tier villain dressed like a luchador.  Superman fans don't want to attend his funeral after he gets killed by The Thing's cousin, and Spider-Man fans don't want to learn that the webhead is a clone or see everything they love about the character erased in a deal with the devil.  I'm sure it would be the same if it was the other way around.  Luke Cage passing on his powers to a white accountant named Stanley wouldn't go over all that well with Power Man fanboys, and I doubt She-Hulk readers want to see her replaced by yet another male Hulk.  Maybe a purple one this time.

Think about it: Stephen King could make a fortune if he announced that he was going to write a book where Roland, his beloved gunslinger, died in a car accident.  The publicity would be staggering and the outcry from the fans would only add fuel to the fire.  It would make money, but he wouldn't do that, not in a million years, not unless it happened organically while he was writing a book.  CBS isn't going to replace Pat Sajak with a black guy tomorrow just to get a bump in ratings.  Your favorite sports team isn't going to trade your favorite player tomorrow just to get a little buzz.  The View isn't going to swap Whoopi Goldberg out for Chris Rock next week for a few headlines.  Why?  That isn't how you treat your fanbase, that's why.  Yes, there's money to be made and publicity to be gained, at least in the short term, but there's something to be said for delivering a consistent product to your fanbase--a product that they support and encourage, no less.

I love comics.  The medium has a lot to offer and I treasure the way it requires such collaboration and puts so many different talents on display.  I just can't stand the industry's addiction to constantly shaking shit up just to shake shit up and sell a few more copies in the now.  99% of the time, that's all this boils down to.  Superman rose from the grave, Batman healed, Spider-Man isn't a clone*,and I bet we'll have both the Thor and the Captain America we know and love back shortly.  The issues that caused so much fuss when these sweeping changes were made will become dollar bin fodder and the casual readers who tuned in to see why the long-term fans weren't following their favorite characters anymore will have moved on to something else. 

Like I said before: Yawn.  Call me when it's over.  Also: I'll pass on the special debut issues for these developments, even if they have foil covers or come with 72 amazing variants.  Sometimes the variants are mere sketches.  Sometimes they are blank covers.  True story.  You know what?  I think we're pretty much finished here.

*I don't think he is, anyway.  The more Marvel tried to erase the Clone Saga, the more confusing it got.  I challenge anyone to explain it in a coherent paragraph.  Wikipedia has a whole page on it (see link above) and it reads like something someone suffering from severe head trauma jotted down after waking up from a weird dream.

The Brand-Spanking-New New Avengers

I love comics.  You probably know that by now, but if not, there it is.  There's no shame in that, either, as I'm one of a great many who will tell you that comics may just be the most underrated form of art on the planet.  There are some master storytellers at work in that realm, and there are guys that can do shit with pencils and ink that will blow your mind.  There are some cats out there doing wild stuff with paint and computers and it's all designed to boggle the mind and tell a fun story.  Comics are fun, and that's something we could all use a little more of, right?

Now, for several years, my favorite title was Marvel's New Avengers.  I was heartbroken a few months back when the deck was reshuffled, and the team I knew and loved was sent packing in favor of a relaunch with a new team.  Now, that team I fell in love with was the best team Marvel ever put together in terms of entertainment.  Seriously, we had Cap, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Iron Man, Power-Man and Iron Fist, Dr. Strange, and Hawkeye, among others.  It doesn't get any better than that, and Marvel was wise enough to put that team at the center of all of their biggest events, ranging from the Civil War to World War Hulk and even the Secret Invasion.  So, yeah, I was pretty distraught when I found out that Marvel was ready to do something new and different. 

Now, the new squad has been featured in three issues, and this team is made up of Marvel's power elite.  It's essentially the Illuminati with a few wrinkles thrown in for good measure.  I'm not going to go into great detail here, but once again I think Marvel has given us a winner.  The fate of the world is at stake and seeing big guns like Cap, Iron Man, Namor, Dr. Strange, Reed Richards, and Black Panther work together with everything on the line has been pretty massive thus far.  I'm still feeling a little cold, because with The Defenders and New Avengers both being retooled, I don't know where to go for an Iron Fist fix anymore, but my Marvel fandom is still providing me with killer comic books. 

If you haven't done so yet, please scope out the new New Avengers.  You won't regret it.