Short Attention Span Review - Hellboy (2019)

Short Attention Span Review - Hellboy (2019)

Could the new Hellboy really be as bad as everyone said it was?  The way I remember it, about thirty seconds after it got released, the entire universe had labeled it a colossal failure.  Many reviews seemed to portray the picture's greatest shortcoming as an inability to measure up to Guillermo del Toro's work with the character.  Honestly, (and I know this is blasphemy to some) I didn't dig those flicks all that much.  And you know what?  With that mind, I have to say . . . this Hellboy was pretty bad.  Uneven and sophomoric, the pieces just didn't fit together all that well, and the ending was a total letdown.  I had heard that the CGI was dodgy, but I didn't find that to be an issue, and I really liked a lot of the character and set designs.  Mostly, the issues that handicapped this reboot were related to plotting and a lack of restraint.  And that turd burglar of a finale.  However, while it surely missed the mark in a lot of ways, I did enjoy this Hellboy at times.  It had some fun bits, and while it may have been too crude in many places, the effort Neil Marshall and his crew put into scraping the bottom of the barrel did yield some obnoxious entertainment along the way.  I enjoyed David Harbour in the title role, and some of his line deliveries really worked for me.  While I wanted more from the lovely Milla Jovovich (who was splendid, but given far too little to do), there were some nasty baddies in the mix.  The gore quotient was high, and I think the hard R approach served the property well when they didn't go overboard with it.  It's just a shame that the script fell so short, and I'm not sure that everyone involved was on the same page so far as the tone of the movie is concerned.  Yes, the new Hellboy is a misfire.  However, it's like Hudson Hawk or Tango & Cash--it's one of those duds that still has some unmistakable appeal.  Is it good?  No.  Far from it.  Is it entertaining?  Yeah, somewhat.  

Final Grade: D+

Okay, the new Hellboy is a dud, but don't blame David Harbour.

Short Attention Span Review - Captain Marvel (2019)

Short Attention Span Review - Captain Marvel (2019)

Captain Marvel was a big deal because it represented Marvel's first picture with a female lead, and no one could make a credible argument that it wasn't a big success.  However, I'm here to tell you that I see it as a far bigger success than most.  It's not just another rock solid feature from an enterprise that has produced one winner after another for the last twenty years.  No, Captain Marvel is more than that--I rate it as one of the most entertaining films they have blessed us with.  Now, I won't put it among their best efforts, because it is not on the same level as Infinity War or Endgame, or either of the Captain America sequels.  However, when it comes to sheer entertainment, it's right up there with the recent Spidey outings or the Guardians of the Galaxy stuff.  Clever, funny, ripe with 90s nostalgia (to include 90s Samuel L. Jackson, a big perk and a wild technological victory rolled into one), and fast-paced, Captain Marvel is a wicked cool treat.  There are surprises, killer songs, colorful shenanigans, and a whole lot of girl power.  The effects are ill, the performances rock, and the script and direction provide some nifty flourishes that distinguish this one from your average origin tale.  It is a little quirky, but I loved those quirks (Goose the cat is so f'n gnarly), and the Skrulls looked so damn awesome on the screen.  And, most importantly, there's Brie Larson, who was seemingly born to bring this supreme asskicker to life in stunning fashion.  She slays it from start to finish, hammering the screen with enthusiasm, warmth, humor, physicality, depth, and confidence.  I would argue that she fits here as well as any of Marvel's most impressive casting decisions, and I fully understand the significance of that statement.  Captain Marvel is one of the most enjoyable films I watched in 2019, and this Marvel fanboy thinks that it is more than just another quality production from a brand that can do no wrong.  It's a sensational show, oozing cool and dripping with excitement.

Final Grade: A

Captain Marvel has a lot going for it, but the biggest reason for the picture's success is Larson, who makes the most of a powerful role that fits her like a glove.  A badass glove.

Comics Corner - Conan the Barbarian: Exodus #1

Comics Corner - Conan the Barbarian: Exodus #1

You're already aware that I took great pleasure in Conan's return to Marvel.  Today, this worthy pairing provided me with a completely fresh take on the rugged barbarian.  Gifted artist Esad Ribic is the man responsible for this book, handing the artwork and the story, and he brings something unique to each side of the coin.  The tale is painted, and there is an elegance and a realism to his approach that is a stark departure from the usual pulpy and lurid depictions of this iconic character.  The plot is unveiled entirely through these stunning images, as there is no text.  This does not handicap the comic given the power and insight Esad has applied to this undertaking with his tremendous talent.  A harrowing journey springs to life in these breathtaking pages, and we can practically feel the chill in our bones as our young Cimmerian struggles to survive in a harsh winter landscape.  Conan is both predator and prey in a stirring rendition of desperation and liberation.  Perhaps the most impressive thing about this title is the way it offers readers a fine departure and yet remains true to the character we know and love.  Conan the Barbarian: Exodus is an inventive pageturner that I really enjoyed, and I'm happy to use this platform to promote it.

Final Grade: A

Brought to lifein stunning fashion by beautiful paintings and an absence of text, Conan the Barbarian: Exodus is a true piece of art.

Powerful Pages - The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman (2003 - 2019)

Powerful Pages - The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman (2003 - 2019)

In a surprise move, writer Robert Kirkman brought his comic book powerhouse The Walking Dead to an end in July without any fanfare.  The end of the line for the written exploits of his beloved hero Rick Grimes came in issue 193.  That's quite a run for a series that truly came from out of nowhere, a title the creator himself acknowledges had little chance of surviving a dozen issues.  Instead, it became a major brand in and of itself, leading to a massive hit for AMC in the form of a television series.  That show has produced one spinoff already with others waiting in the wings, and there are feature films in the production line.  The property has also yielded novels, board games, and video games, as well as collectibles and apparel.  It is undoubtedly one of the most successful and culturally significant comic series of its time, and the franchise lives on despite the abrupt conclusion to the books that launched this phenomenon.

I am a fan of both the comics and the television show, though I have always favored the former--and I have always tried to make that clear.  Fans of the show, which has always had its ups and downs, need to understand that there is a vastly superior undistilled format of this story out there.  Now, I'm not going to argue that the comics haven't seen their fair share of ups and downs, no series can last that long without a few hiccups.  I will state, however, that the peaks have always been far higher while the valleys have rarely cut that deep.  In fact, I will hail Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead as one of the finest stories ever penned, and those who cherish a grand opus in the horror genre will find few alternatives as big, bold, and insightful.  Truthfully, if I am searching for a signature work of similar breadth, only a few candidates come to mind.  While Stephen King's The Stand is a finer offering, I would rank this alongside Carrion Comfort by Dan Simmons.  Some might say that's high praise for a comic, but I rate Alan Moore's Watchmen among the best things ever written, and I view the format no differently than I view books, screenplays, essays, songs, or poems.  Okay, that's a lie: poems are always dead last where literature is concerned.

In addition to my love for the written word, I'll claim some expertise here as a horror fanatic who has some serious love for the zombie sub-genre.  And I'll ramp up the praise here by stating that I'm not sure that anyone other than dear departed George Romero himself has done as much for that niche.  Where zombie tales are concerned, I would rank only the original Dawn of the Dead above Kirkman's comics, and I see that as debatable.  It's not just that this series revitalized the zombie craze, it took it to even greater heights.  It did so by presenting an epic journey, the story of one man who forever changed the landscape of a searing apocalyptic vision.  Rick Grimes faced incredible odds.  He encountered devious villains.  He won fierce battles and suffered heartbreaking losses.  Unlike many protagonists, he also made devestating mistakes.  This character's story gave readers so much to enjoy, so much to mourn, so much to debate, and so much to savor.  I don't think the medium had ever seen anything like it, and I'm not sure we'll ever experience anything to rival this gargantuan undertaking again.

In taking us on this journey, Kirkman actually took us on numerous journeys, and many of these episodes would rate as epics on their own.  In the beginning, Rick struggled to find purchase in a terrible new world; zombies were the greatest threat in this grim environment, but there were other threats, to include his best friend.  Then came Hershel's farm, and that gave way to one of the richest and most celebrated arcs, the prison storyline.  Kirkman introduced us to the Governor during this chapter of The Walking Dead, and in facing this vile foe, our hero would lose damn near everything.  Then came Alexandria, and something that genuinely resembled hope.  Later we would meet Negan, one of the most hated baddies ever to grace the printed page.  Negan earned this status by virtue of maybe the biggest shock Kirkman ever assailed his devoted audience with, and major jolts have been one of the staples of The Walking Dead from the very beginning.  The Whisperers would soon join the fray, representing perhaps the creepiest fiends to appear in these pages.  The tale would reach its unexpected end in the Commonwealth, another gripping piece of this unforgettable puzzle.  There were other stories woven into this mammoth tapestry, introducing us to countless characters we would come to love or hate.  AMC has brough most of these players, places, and events to the small screen, often to tremendous effect.  And yet, aside from where Jon Bernthal's work as Shane is concerned, it has repeatedly fallen well short of the mark.

Like most readers, I am sad to see this story come to an end.  However, I cannot find fault with Kirkman's decision, and I found the last beat in this tale to be a powerful one.  The Walking Dead ended in much the same way that it began--the finale was equal parts unforseen and satisfying.  It came as a surprise, and it resonated because it worked on such a personal level.  In telling his tale and establishing Rick Grimes as a legend, I feel that Robert Kirkman has done something truly legendary.  I give this saga my highest recommendation, and I can't thank those involved enough for nearly two decades of stupendous zombie excitement.  Lest I forget, let me note here that while I think Kirkman's vision and talent are the primary ingredients in The Walking Dead's success, the artwork has always been a perfect match to his gruesome musings.  The initial run was brought to life by Tony Moore, who is also credited as the co-creator, and Charlie Adlard took over from there--though Moore still handled the covers until issue #25.  The stability represented therein, which is a true rarity in this industry, is yet another driving force behind the scope and the magnificence of this once-in-a-lifetime venture.  In summary, there are few works of art that have meant so much to me, and I am truly sorry to be writing what I hope is both a rave review and a fond farewell.

Final Grade: A+

Comics Corner - The Immortal Hulk (2018 - Present)

Comics Corner - The Immortal Hulk (2018 - Present)

One comic that has been garnering a lot of praise recently is Marvel's latest take on the Hulk, aptly titled The Immortal Hulk.  This is partly a fresh approach, but it also serves to turn back the clock to the days when everyone's favorite green behemoth first hit the scene.  Once upon a when, the Hulk was more of a monster that men feared who only became a hero when greater threats arose--sort of like Godzilla in the flicks where he gets to play the good guy.

Writer Al Ewing has certainly cast the Hulk as a creature to be feared in this stellar run, and he has conjured up some wicked threats to pit against the titular character.  Joe Bennett has done a gnarly job of translating Ewing's vision to the medium.  Combine their fiendish efforts, and this book somehow manages to give me the Hulk I crave while seemingly paying homage to the grotesque delights of John Carpenter's The Thing, or perhaps some of Sam Raimi's work when he's in "paint the screen red with blood" mode.  Then there's the icing on the cake: the covers from Alex Ross, who is always impeccable, but has taken things up a notch with these diabolical visions of everyone's favorite raging jade goliath.

With Marvel being known and loved the world over for its playful sense of humor, I feel that people probably underestimate what I and other fans mean when we refer to this as a horror comic featuring the Hulk.  It's not a typical Hulk book with him facing off against a few beasties with red eyes, it runs much, much darker than that.  The Hulk himself is a tortured creature, and he has been dismembered, corrupted, and even taken to hell in the fourteen issues of this title released to date.  He has faced off against some deeply malevolent foes, and the pages have dripped with sinister imagery.  Is it on the same level as Alan Moore's legendary take on Swamp Thing so far as plunging a beloved entity into the very depths of the macabre is concerned?  That's a good question.  Maybe it hasn't gone quite that far, but then again, maybe it has.

It hasn't been as surreal as Moore's work with DC's green force of nature, though it has paused to ask some very profound questions and there have been some metaphysics in play.  I like the way the supernatural elements have been portrayed in a straightforward manner--it's quite unique, somewhat akin to marrying high adventure to the sort of body horror that David Cronenberg is famous for.  Seriously, I'll stand by that.  I have always enjoyed the Hulk, but this direction caters directly to my sensibilities, and I will join the choir in hailing it as perhaps Marvel's finest offering in 2018 and 2019.

In short, if you dig comics, and you like the Hulk, you may well be intrigued.  If you dig horror and you like material with some serious oomph, you too may enjoy this title.  And if you dig the Hulk, you have love for comic books, and you're a horror fanatic like yours truly, this is looking like "can't miss" territory, isn't it?  While there are a lot of good books out there these days, and the last couple of years have been really kind to horror lovers (Elvira, Gravetrancers, Blackwood, Justice League Dark, and The Spider King are among my recent favorites), this is probably the title I look forward to most on my pull list these days.  The hype is real, my friends.  Long live The Immortal Hulk.

Final Grade: A

Short Attention Span Review - Aquaman (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Aquaman (2018)

A visual spectacle that dishes out ample doses of excitement and cheer, Aquaman is a glorious achievement.  This offbeat superhero yarn is a fun picture that offers up thrills, laughs, drama, and magical special effects.  It is a journey brimming with epic staples, and as such, it is centered upon a daunting quest with the fate of the world at stake.  Yet even as director James Wan dazzles us with grandeur and all the most rousing aspects of a legit blockbuster, he allows his imposing but playful star to wink at the audience from time to time.  Arriving as DC's second surefire hit amid a couple of mediocre outings and at least one misunderstood gem*, Aquaman stands proudly alongside Wonder Woman, giving us renewed hope in this comic book juggernaut's ability to translate their work to the screen for current audiences.  For me, the most impressive thing about this crowd-pleaser was the fact that while it was overflowing with eye candy of the highest order, the visual treats never overshadowed the characters or the performances.  This cast and the story may have won me over even if the FX wizardry had fallen short.  Seeing both of these elements of the production fire on all cylinders is a fabulous experience.  At the center of all this enchantment is Jason Momoa as a hero who has been a punchline for much of his existence, at least where the general public is concerned.  Despite bearing no resemblance whatsoever to the character, this dude was born to play the king of the sea, and his casting is the biggest gun in DC's arsenal right now.  Truth.  His physicality and charisma are the foundation upon which Aquaman is built, and it's one hell of a foundation.  Stars like Nicole Kidman and Willem Dafoe join Momoa and the ever-potent Amber Heard in elevating this impressive adventure, while Patrick Wilson and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II portray dastardly threats to the world Wan has created.  In fact, Wilson really impresses, making Orm an arrogant and dangerous opponent despite Momoa's prowess, while Abdul-Mateen II damn near steals the show.  In closing, Aquaman is an enjoyable film that aims for the stars and soars to incredible heights.

*Batman vs. Superman (the extended cut)

Final Grade: A

Aquaman is a stunning movie that likely would have survived the presence of a lesser performer in the lead role, but Momoa's athleticism and warmth only add to its wow factor.

Short Attention Review - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

I've been down with Spidey for about as long as I can remember, and I'm a 40-year-old dude who still rocks comics.  Bonus points: the one mainstay on my pull list has always been The Amazing Spider-Man.  With that in mind, I believe I can speak with some authority when it comes to the webhead.  My expertise extends beyond the comics and also applies to the movies, to include the appropriately obscure.  Of course, I've seen all the mainstream ventures, but I didn't stop there.  Seriously, have you ever gone on a quest to track down every episode of the 1977 television series starring Nicholas Hammond--and forced yourself to watch them all?  Dear lord, I hope not.  I like to think that I paid that tab for all of us.*  Anyway, I say all that to say this: I was a bit unsure about Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and my unease may have increased in light of all the incredible praise heaped upon this 2018 animated adventure.  Surely, I thought, it can't be that good.  Listen up, peeps.  It's that good.  It's freaking epic.  It rocks.  I didn't like it, I positively loved it.  The animation is unique but brilliant, the voice performances are perfect, and the soundtrack is nothing short of superb.  Most importantly, the direction courtesy of Bob Perischetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman is amazing, and the screenplay from Phil Lord and Rodney Rothman is spectacular.  They weave a mesmerizing web of rollicking action and heartfelt drama that elevate this into the upper stratosphere of comic book movies.  Look, I drooled over Infinity War with the rest of you, but Spidey snuck in like a thief in the night and rocked the Casbah with this vivid and thoroughly entertaining smash hit.  I do not believe I am taking things too far when I dub this the best Spider-Man movie we have seen to date, and I enjoy all of the previous efforts, even Spider-Man 3**.  I rate Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming as among the best comic book adaptations ever produced.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse surpasses all of these adventures starring the wallcrawler we hold so dear.  Guess what?  I'm not stopping there.  No, I would like to take things even further, to be honest, and I'm here to declare this one of the best superhero movies out there.  In terms of craftsmanship and quality, it is on par with the best of the lot, to include the previously-mentioned Infinity War, as well as other legit classics in that realm, movies like Logan, The Dark Knight, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Superman II.  I can't recommend this one highly enough, and it is a joy to encounter something that is equal parts diverse, inclusive, and splendid.  I want to thank everyone involved for taking my favorite superhero to new heights.

*For the record, they're kinda fun, and I give the makers of the show props for trying really hard.  That's probably too kind.  Okay, okay.  Let's be real here.  The show was so hokey that it flirts with comedic glory.

**Shoot me if you must.  It's true.

Final Grade: A+

This wonderful feature succeeds partly by inviting lots of takes on our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man to the party, but mostly because it nails each and every one of them, and allows them to participate in a marvelous story.

Short Attention Span Review: Venom (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: Venom (2018)

Because Tom Hardy, that's why.  What else could it be?  Venom is not a great movie, oh no, far from it, but it is way better than it has any right to be.  Why?  Please revisit that first line, good people.  It simply has to be Tom.  Tom is invested.  The script is an exercise in contrived mediocrity.  Tom is quirky.  The direction is so bland it makes vanilla seem like the most daring of flavors.  Tom is funny.  This is a movie about Venom with no real ties to Spider-Man whatsoever.  Tom is exciting.  Both the special effects and the choreography for this film could accurately be described as run-of-the-mill for the industry at large--and may even rate as subpar if compared to most films repping the current superhero craze.  Tom is unpredictable.  Venom is a by-the-numbers comic book adaptation that has more in common with Catwoman or Spawn than anything Marvel has produced in the last decade.  Despite my love for Tom, when you do the math here, it should add up to a lousy review, right?  Wrong.  Because Tom Hardy, that's why.  Venom should rate as an insult to webheads like me, but Tom's gonzo performance makes it a curious success.  There are moments when he seems to be channeling vintage Jim Carrey, I shit you not, and while I can't say that I agree with all of the choices he makes in this role, it is his schtick that makes this rabble worthwhile.  I'll also give props to the sound design where the symbiote's voice is concerned, and the only thing the filmmakers do that matches Hardy's zeal: centering this tale on the relationship between a strange man and a much stranger creature.  And the fact that heads are bitten off is never a turnoff for yours truly.

Final Grade: C+

It's a love story, really.  A love story about a boy who meets a parasite.
Like when Kurt met Courtney, only this time the parasite is from another planet.

Comics Corner - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (2018 - Present)

Comics Corner - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (2018 - Present)

Elvira was my first crush.  As a wee fella, I stayed up late one Friday night, and then BOOM!--there she was.  Wow.  I've got goosebumps just thinking about it.  In truth, as a lifelong horror fanatic, my fondness for dearest Elvira and my love for things that go bump in the night represent a legitimate "chicken or the egg" scenario.  In other words, I'm not sure which one came first.

Anyway, the Mistress of the Dark is still my biggest celebrity crush (and my only celebrity crush, truth be told*), and I may just have her to thank for all the joy the horror genre has brought me over the years.  I also dig comics in a big way, so when I heard that Dynamite was set to launch this Elvira: Mistress of the Dark series last year, I made sure to put it on my pull list at Fanboy Comics.  To be quite frank, I didn't know if it would prove to be a solid book (I'm a reader first and a collector second), but I was willing to give it a shot, and I knew it would make for a quality keepsake if nothing else.  Hey, nostalgia sells.

As it turns out, writer David Avallone and artist Dave Acosta have taken this loaded property and ran wild with it.  I am grateful for their efforts; the art is inviting, as it should be, the writing is clever, and the series exists largely as a love letter for both those who treasure horror at large and those who are as charmed by the title character as yours truly.  That bawdy Elvira schtick works as well in this format as it does on the screen, and the tongue-in-cheek approach to the macabre and our lovely heroine's unique assets come through loud and clear.

And the puns!  Oh, the puns!  Puns for days, peeps.  Throw in some classic horror characters and their creators, a diabolical pace, a demented and appropriately snarky sense of humor, and you wind up with a genuine crowd-pleaser that delivers big laughs and big thrills in every issue.  I'm sure the naysayers were expecting nothing more than a big bust, but I am greatly pleased to take this opportunity to rate Dynamite's vivacious Elvira: Mistress of the Dark as an absolute blast.

Final Grade: A

*I'm not counting my man-crush on Michael Fassbender.

Comics Corner: Savage Sword of Conan #1 (Published 2/13/2019)

Comics Corner: Savage Sword of Conan #1 (Published 2/13/2019)

Like so many fans of this legendary character, I rejoiced when I heard that Conan would be returning to Marvel.  To be clear, Dark Horse did a fine job with the property, but it never spoke to me in the same way.  Maybe it's sheer nostalgia, but when I think of the way Roy Thomas handled our favorite Cimmerian back in the day, or the damn near mystical appeal those eye-popping Savage Sword magazines held for me, I can't help but be a bit underwhelmed by Conan's comic book exploits elsewhere.  Anyway, the first issue of the second coming of Marvel's Conan the Barbarian registered as big winner, but I found the second issue to be more than a little disappointing--and the recently published third issue is a full-on disaster.  So, my enthusiasm had waned a bit when I visited Fanboy Comics to scoop up my copy of this fresh take on Savage Sword of Conan.  A single glance at the magnificent cover from the one and only Alex Ross was enough to scatter my misgivings.  Seriously, I'll put this beauty up against anything Frazetta ever composed, and that is not hyperbole.  Sign me up for a poster, please!  And the comic itself is stellar from cover to cover, with excellent plotting from Gerry Duggan and glorious art courtesy of Ron Garney.  The pencils are bold, the story is robust, and this stands as a brawny and richly compelling comic--in other words, it's a perfect take on Conan.  I now find myself hoping that Conan the Barbarian rebounds while praying (not to Crom, who doesn't heed prayers) that the next issue of Savage Sword of Conan doesn't falter.  This is a grand start and an absolute must-have for any fan of Robert E. Howard's timeless hero.

Final Grade: A+

Powerful Pages: Neomicon (2010-2011) and Providence (2015-2017) by Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows

Powerful Pages: Neonomicon (2010-2011) and Providence (2015-2017) by Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows:

I have read some strange shit, people, but nothing quite like this.  I'm combining these reviews because the two tales are essentially one epic piece of literature, with Providence acting as both prequel and sequel to its predecessor.  Either collection would be oddly incomplete without its counterpart, and those who sully themselves with either piece of this demented puzzle should put all the pieces together and gaze with terror upon the work as a whole.  Essentially, this is Alan Moore's take on Lovecraftian horror (Lovecraft himself even pops up in the proceedings) with stunning art courtesy of Jacen Burrows.  Aside from Watchmen and his legendary Swamp Thing run, this must be considered Moore's most compelling material to date, and it is entirely possible that his writing has never been better.  Yet it is also entirely true that he has never been this provocative, and both Neonomicon and Providence are extremely difficult reads.  I actually had a bit of a revelation while reading this.  It involves Moore's take on Lovecraftian horror.  As some might surmise given this dynamic artist's knack for expanding upon contemporary mythology, he actually redefines this sub-genre and takes it to new heights in the process.  He does so by taking it to repulsive lows, and therein lies the revelation.  Given that Lovecraft's beloved prose is rather dated and he approached his vile musings with a dry and methodical tone, I believe that most who seek to revisit the subject matter that so enthralled him do so without really appreciating the terror and deviance that punctuates his forbidden folklore.  As such, most Lovecraftian horror as we know it is a bit too quaint, a bit too intellectual, and entirely too detached from reality.  Moore has no interest in paying homage or pulling punches, and he allows his twisted tale of ancient evil and tortured vessels to play out in stunning fashion without distancing his readers from the grotesque dread or the carnal depravity that this unholy descent into madness and horror warrants.  I will confess that I repeatedly yearned to put this blood-curdling opus down.  I found both offerings to be deeply disturbing and equally woeful.  However, the writing was so powerful and the tale was so gripping that I had no choice but to see it through.  Like many tales that are hard to endure but perfectly realized, it is tough to provide a fair assessment.  If I give this an "A," I feel like I'm encouraging my readers to go snag a copy and dig in, and surely the craftmanship warrants as much, yet I'm inclined to spare you.  Much of the art that I highly recommend is entertaining above all else, and this is quality art at the opposite end of the spectrum.  It is a supreme piece of storytelling, indeed, but I'm not promising you a good time if you embark upon this journey.  No, quite the opposite.  Buckle up, peeps, those of you who try this one on for size may wind up emotionally scarred.  That is sincerity, not hyperbole, such is the power and the spellbinding horror of Neonomicon and Providence.

Note: like Watchmen, each issue of Providence boasts supplemental material beyond the standard comic pages employed to deliver the goods.  And, like Watchmen, readers must make time for this material as well.  It is integral to the story.


Final Grade: A+.  But I warned you.  Proceed with caution.  Or don't proceed at all.  Maybe read Watchmen instead.  I don't think anyone ever doubted their sanity as they worked their way through that testament to the grandeur of comics.

Dark, grim, and utterly deplorable, this sprawling saga is a diabolical journey that qualifies as perahps the single most demented selection of worthwhile fiction that I have ever encountered.

Killer Comics: Justice League Dark #1 (2018)

Killer Comics: Justice League Dark #1 (2018)

DC has just hit us with a new Justice League Dark line-up and a fresh series, and this group and the book they inhabit are both well served by a gruesome first issue that fires on all cylinders.  Some might view it as being heavy on the text, but James Tynion IV does a stirring job with his words, giving this book a distinct feel.  It shows some self-awareness, weaves in a few good laughs, and deftly introduces us to the team while delivering a few quality jolts along the way.  As first issues for team books go, I'm not sure that we could hope for much more.  The pencils by Alvaro Martinez Bueno are simply amazing, with reach designs and a wealth of detail leaping off the page in a series of well-choreographed panels that keep the story moving in spite of all the exposition (which is prominent without getting in the way, another big win for this creative team).  Genre mainstays like Zatanna and Swamp Thing (love the new look) are front and center, while we get a few cameos, a few surprise additions (Detective Chimp and Man-Bat, both of whom are granted new depth and utilized to maximum effect) and one superstar outlier, Wonder Woman.  The stakes are high and while the overall pitch (magic is dying) may seem familiar to comic book aficionados who have enjoyed Marvel's recent work with Doctor Strange, Justice League Dark seems to be taking the concept in a different and more frightening direction.  If you're looking for a new title to latch onto and you enjoy either horror comics or any of the characters involved (they had me at Swamp Thing), this feels like a book that you need to add to your reading list ASAP.

Final Grade: A

Short Attention: Deadpool 2 (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: Deadpool 2 (2018)

If you liked Deadpool, then you won't have any complaints about Deadpool 2.  Ryan Reynolds was born to play this part, and the fact that the powers that be have allowed him to do it his way is both a sweet blessing for comic book fanboys and the secret to this franchise's success.  In some ways, Deadpool 2 is better than its predecessor, particularly when it comes to big laughs and brawls.  It also has a more interesting narrative, but it may suffer from a lack of focus, as it does seem to meander at times.  It is also surprisingly sappy at times, and while it's hard to criticize a film for trying to inject more feeling into the proceedings, it certainly seemed a little odd to have Deadpool trying to pluck at my heartstrings.  However, it does boast Josh Brolin as Cable, and that may be the real secret to this sequel's appeal.  Reynolds is perfect as Deadpool, no doubt about it, and I enjoy his schtick, but it can be a bit grating.  Brolin's more grounded approach (which still relies on a heavy dose of humor) is a fine way to balance things out and provide a worthy counterpart to Deadpool's inane shenanigans.  Deadpool 2 is a little less vulgar than its predecessor, which I found surprising as sequels so often push the envelope in every way possible.  However, it definitely ups the ante on the comedic front in a big way, and that was my favorite thing about it.  Whereas Deadpool benefitted from a steady stream of chuckles, Deadpool 2 manages to do likewise while also sporting two bits that are as funny as anything you're apt to see.  I'm talking sequences so hilarious that I couldn't catch my breath I was laughing so hard.  I'm talking about a pair of comic setpieces that can rival the funniest parts of any movie ever lensed.  Yeah, that funny.  X-Force!  So, in summary, Deadpool 2 is more of a mixed bag than the first one was, and it has a few chinks in its armor, but when it wins, brothers and sisters, it wins big.  

Oh, and Reynolds continues to poke fun at his other comic book movie exploits to great effect, but his love/hate relationship with Hugh Jackman's Wolverine remains his greatest fallback.  That stuff is golden.

Final Grade: B+

No surprise here: Brolin is a welcome addition to this franchise.  At this point, he has emerged as a true powerhouse who would be a welcome addition to most any franchise.

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Having seen this masterpiece three times now, to include two showings at the theater, I feel that I am not rushing to judgment when I declare Avengers: Infinity War to be the best comic book movie of all time.  This is an instant classic, peeps, and it stands as one of the greatest cinematic achievements I have ever had the privilege of enjoying.  This is undoubtedly the biggest such spectacle ever presented on film, but with the superhero genre, in particular, we have often seen that too many ingredients spoil the dish.  That's not the case here, and this stands as the perfect culmination of everything we've seen from Marvel since they took the reins and established their cinematic universe.  Virtually everyone is on board, and everyone is given a worthy role.  Seeing these characters pair up and watching them spar with one another and the biggest bad ever seen in a motion picture is an absolute joy.  The script is flawless, with the feature displaying incredible depth and showcasing some of the best action setpieces we've ever seen, yet still managing to deliver an abundance of humor and several massive emotional beats along the way.  It's impossible to pick a standout as everyone brings their A-game and the Russo brothers make such marvelous (forgive me) use of all their talents.  I will say that the moment when the Guardians of the Galaxy hit the scene puts a tremendous smile on my face, and I do a fist pump every time grizzled Cap enters the fray.  But there's so much more--I also delight in Thor's MVP role in the proceedings, and you just can't oversell Josh Brolin's artistry in creating one of the most imposing and relatable villains imaginable.  I also loved seeing Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, and Okoye join forces, and that gut-wrenching climax is the stuff of legend.  Marvel has given a new generation an Empire Strikes Back experience times ten, though thankfully modern audiences won't have to wait three whole years to see the good guys rise from the ashes.  Marvel keeps raising the bar with their movies, but it is hard to imagine anyone topping this feast for the senses.  Like everyone else, I can't wait for the sequel, and even though I've just watched Avengers: Infinity War for the third time, I can't wait to watch it again either.  Best comic book movie ever.  Word life.

Final Grade: A+

Brolin's work as Thanos is amazing, and the unlikely decision to make him the true star of the picture makes Avengers: Infinity War the greatest comic book movie ever made.

Powerful Pages - James Bond: Vargr by Warren Ellis and Jason Masters (Graphic Novel - 2016)

Powerful Pages - James Bond: Vargr by Warren Ellis and Jason Masters (Graphic Novel - 2016)

As a general rule, I am wary of movie properties being adapted as comic books.  While I love both mediums, it just doesn't seem to work as well as it should in many instances.  However, Marvel has recently revived their Star Wars line to tremendous effect, and the praise heaped upon this take on everyone's favorite super spy courtesy of Warren Ellis and Jason Masters forced me to give it a look.  I'm glad everyone got the word out, because Vargr is a fantastic edition to the Bond catalog.  Cutting edge, dark, thrilling, and moving at a rollicking pace, I couldn't put this grisly escapade down.  Ellis did a fantastic job of plotting a non-stop assault that really put our hero through the wringer.  Masters took a low-key approach to the art and elevated the piece with his deliberate work and his refusal to shy away from the gruesome effects of all the carnage taking place.  I'm a big Bond fan, and I found Vargr to be as thrilling as any of his adventures on the big screen, and while it stayed true to the character, it was also the most ferocious take on the property I have encountered.  If this were a movie, Daniel Craig could play the part, though it would be far closer to John Wick than Casino Royale in terms of brutality.  While I note that Craig could play the part (and I honestly can't see any of his cinematic counterparts pulling off this level of phsyicality), I did like the fact that Ellis and Masters elected to render their own version of the character.  He isn't drawn like any of the actors who played the role and he doesn't necessarily look like the bloke (forgive me) on the old Ian Fleming book covers either.  In the end, I think that's precisely why this worked for me so well--Vargr felt perfectly at home in the character's legacy, but it was definitely its own thing.  It didn't aim to pay homage, it aimed to take a beloved property and break new ground, and I think that Ellis and Masters accomplished their mission.  Job well done, lads!

Final Grade: A

Thrilling, dark, and action-packed, Vargr is a great entry into the Bond legacy.

Powerful Pages - Batman: Gothic by Grant Morrison and Klaus Janson (1990)

Powerful Pages - Batman: Gothic by Grant Morrison and Klaus Janson (1990)

When it comes to dark and brooding, Batman sets the bar.  With this particularly grim tale, writer Grant Morrison ups the ante with a major influx of twisted horror, while Klaus Janson offers some of his best work, using shadows and angles to supreme effect.  The tale benefits from a ghastly original villain who is a bit more sinister than any of the caped crusader's typical foes, and this fiend proves to be far more formidable as well.  Of particular note were a handful of eerie dream sequences that were quite literally the stuff of nightmares and several expertly choreographed confrontations.  This was a top-notch affair from top to bottom, with impeccable plotting and an inventive yarn with numerous twists and turns pairing nicely with sensational artwork and brilliant lettering.  While I've never seen it placed among top-tier outings featuring Gotham's dogged defender, I found it to be one of his most memorable storylines.  Perhaps this is because most fanboys are more comfortable with a gentler tone and a familiar adversary.  One thing is certain, those who enjoy horror comics may find Batman: Gothic to be right up their alley.  While I have always enjoyed the touch of the macabre that is woven into the very fabric of Batman's legacy, this may be the first graphic novel featuring the character I have encountered where a touch of the macabre just wasn't enough for the artists toiling behind the curtain.  Batman: Gothic is a horror story through and through, and it is plotted and illustrated to sinister perfection.

Final Grade: A

Short Attention Span Review - Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Short Attention Span Review - Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

I don't know how Marvel is doing it at this point.  I'm a lifelong fan of their comics, so it should come as no surprise that I'm a big fan of their box office dominance.  More importantly, I love the way they've brought their characters to life on the big screen in such remarkable fashion.  Yet it's hard to fathom how they keep managing to kick things up a notch.  Perhaps it's because they have recently grown accustomed to taking chances, and those chances are paying dividends.  Much like Guardians of the Galaxy, this venture represents a major gamble in terms of tone, with comedy being a huge part of the proceedings.  Marvel has seen great success with the comic relief they have inserted into their films from the start, but as with GOTG, this one is just as reliant (if not more reliant) on laughs than thrills.  However, while I would say that Thor: Ragnarok is 50% comedy, it is also 50% action-packed, and the God of Thunder has never been so badass.  Bonus points: "Immigrant Song" has long been my favorite Zeppelin track, and it seems about ten times cooler now.  Thor: Ragnarok is a big win across the board.  You will laugh, you will be thrilled, you will marvel (forgive me) at the kaleidoscope of color and sound that takes a familiar property on a trippy new ride that goes big often and delivers the goods at every turn.  The cast is insanely good--Hemsworth has never been so fun to watch or so damn gnarly, and Ruffalo makes stealing the show look easy no matter what he's asked to do these days.  Cate Blancett makes for a nasty villain, Tessa Thompson is ridiculously good as Valkyrie, Idris Elba is Idris Elba (and Idris Elba is cool as shit), Jeff Goldblum has too much fun and slays it, and my man Karl Urban has a surprisingly potent turn as one of the more conflicted characters in the film.  I know, I know, I'm gushing, but Thor: Ragnarok is totally fucking rad, dudes.  This kind of kooky shit excites the hell out of me.

Final Grade: A+

It's too early for me to make a definitive ruling in this matter, but as a diehard Marvel fanboy, I can assure you that is entirely possible that Thor: Ragnarok is the the best movie the MCU has given us.  It is easily Top 5 on that front, it's not too early to make that call.

Marvel's Iron Fist (Netflix Series - 2017)

Marvel's Iron Fist (Netflix Series - 2017)

Despite some mindless controversy and a wealth of brutal reviews courtesy of critics (many of whom were unable to move beyond the "whitewashing" bullshit), viewers seem to have watched a different series altogether.  Whether you prefer Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB, if you compare and contrast the critic's ratings and the average joe's ratings, you'll see a gap that might be better referred to as a canyon.  Now, no one out there is hailing Iron Fist as a home run--and it isn't--but it is entertaining and it's a far cry from the utter failure so many critics have made it out to be.  Having recently enjoyed the series, I certainly agree with the viewing public, and while it wasn't nearly as invigorating as the first season of Daredevil or Luke Cage, I think it fits nicely with the rest of their Netflix offerings.

The critics were pretty much universal in their disdain for the presence of Finn Jones in the lead role.  Honestly, this is the first thing I've ever seen him in and I thought he did a fine job.  I'm a big fan of the comic book, and Jones nailed the innocence and warmth that separate Iron Fist from characters like Daredevil, Luke Cage, and the Punisher.  He also did a good job with the action bits, and while I recognize that he didn't do all of his stunts, this didn't really hurt the show at all.  And speaking of action bits, despite all the criticism aimed at the lack of such sequences, I thought this series had a lot more going for it in the way of throwdowns than either Jessica Jones or Luke Cage.  In the interest of full disclosure, I would have preferred to see a legitimate martial artist cast in the role, but I feel like Jones did a solid job with the part.

His supporting cast fared even better, with Marvel's Netflix mainstay Rosario Dawson continuing to excel as Claire Temple (Marvel's Night Nurse) while Jessica Henswick proved to be the show's biggest find as Colleen Wing.  Wing is a legitimate badass whose combat scenes frequently overshadowed those featuring the titular character.  I also found Tom Pelphrey to be a joy to watch, and his Ward Meachum may have been the character that the script provided with the biggest arc.  Whether the episode at hand required Ward to be an elitist dickhead, a coldblooded killer, a desperate junkie, or a semi-likable cat in search of redemption, Pelphrey was up to the task.  Jessica Stroup did a good job as Ward's sister Joy, a character tasked with hitting almost as many levels, but I don't think the script gave her quite enough material to work with.  Some of the key moments concerning her character were so abrupt and ill-defined that I can't say that she nailed it, though I don't hold her directly responsible.

Any show or movie is ultimately only as good as its villain, and David Wenham's Harold Meachum may have been the most impressive thing about Iron Fist.  Given my affection for the source material, I was pleased to hear that Wenham had been cast in this part, and given his talent I knew that Harold would likely be the big bad for the first season.  I was totally cool with this, and I have to say that the Harold Meachum of this Netflix series emerged as a more intriguing and credible threat than his comic book counterpart.  Wenham chewed scenery and brought a lot of physicality to the role, consistently stealing the spotlight and elevating the program whenever he was on screen. 

Like I noted earlier, many of the show's biggest critics have blasted it as a dull affair and lamented the lack and/or quality of fight scenes, and I think this is a bit puzzling.  It does fall well short of the high water mark set by the first season of Daredevil in this regard, but I think it has just as much action as the second season of that show and it surpasses both Jessica Jones and Luke Cage so far as both the quantity and the quality of showdowns are concerned.  Many have objected to the style of these battles, but I enjoyed seeing Danny presented as a more graceful and less vindictive combatant.  Daredevil is a street fighter and he brutalizes his enemies while Danny's mastery of martial arts is more akin to a dance, allowing him to smoothly evade attacks and swiftly incapacitate most enemies with ease.  His foes are more likely to wake up wondering what happened than to come to in traction with a long road to recovery ahead of them.  Again, I would have preferred a genuine martial artist in the part, but Finn did some cool stuff, and I greatly enjoyed the all-too-brief splitscreen bits that gave the proceedings a unique touch.  Finally, I would single out the sixth episode ("Immortal Emerges from Cave") directed by kung fu aficionado RZA as the strongest hour of the series, and any Iron Fist fan or martial arts devotee should have a blast with that episode.

The other defining moment of the show arrived in episode 8, when Lewis Tan absolutely killed it as a master of drunken boxing.  As a whole, this episode didn't have the same power as "Immortal Emerges from Cave," but the fight scene pitting Iron Fist against Tan as Zhou Cheng (one of the coolest adversaries from the comics to pop up on the show) is easily the best action sequence of the first season. 

In summary, while the show did suffer from several lapses in logic and some uneven plotting, that sixth episode and the big fight scene in the eighth episode may stand as the best evidence that Iron Fist was far from a failure and has the potential to rival Marvel's other Netflix shows.  David Wenham's killer effort as the heavy and Jessica Henswick's Colleen Wing were also big winners, and given time Finn Jones may just bring the haters over to his side.  I look forward to seeing Danny alongside his peers as one of The Defenders, and I'm hoping that a second season will shed more light on our hero's training in the mystical city of K'un Lun.  Was Iron Fist everything I had hoped for?  No, it did fall well short of that mark.  Was it a turd?  Shit no.  It was a good show with a wealth of untapped potential, and if Marvel and Netflix allow it to continue, there are definitely signs that it could deliver on all that promise.

Final Grade: B-

Short Attention Span Review: Logan (2017)

Short Attention Span Review: Logan (2017)

While Hugh Jackman has thoroughly owned the part of Wolverine and his presence has been essential to the success of the X-Men franchise as a whole, his solo ventures have been . . . well, less than stellar.  A terrific ad campaign, an "R" rating, and the knowledge that Logan would serve as Jackman's final outing as Marvel's favorite mutant have set the stage for this swan song to emerge as the Wolverine movie we've all been waiting for.  So, did Jackman and director James Mangold finally get the job done?  Yes.  Yes, they did, my friends.  This is a brutal affair with a lot of heart, and Hugh has never been so effective in this role--or any other role, for that matter.  Littered with f-bombs, berserker rampages, gushing blood, and severed limbs, Logan is a love letter to all the fanboys who have clamored for a look at Wolverine's dark side, but it's also so much more.  A western at heart, there is ample time for a lot of somber meditation on heroism and family values included in the show, not to mention some serious pondering so far as purpose and mortality are concerned.  With that in mind, the constant nods to Shane were definitely a nice touch.  Surprisingly, the powerful themes and the gruesome carnage never seemed at odds, but somehow joined forces in a spectacular and introspective farewell for a fabulous actor who has embodied a beloved character since the year 2000.  In many ways, it's a shame that we finally got the Wolverine movie we wanted just as Hugh decided to move on from the role, yet at the same time it must be noted that he is going out on top--and it's hard to fathom any follow-up being a worthy successor to this impressive departure from the standard comic book movie formula.  While the X-Men movies have been quality cinematic experiences with one notable exception (hello, X-Men: The Last Stand), Wolverine's standalone efforts have been mediocre at best . . . until now.  I truly believe that from this point on, when we sit down to talk about the best comic book movies out there, Logan will be in the mix.

Bonus Points: Patrick Stewart was sensational, and one can only hope that newcomer Dafne Keen is able to continue in the role of X-23, as she also knocked it out of the park.

Final Grade: A+

It's true: this is the Wolverine movie we've been waiting for.  As much as I don't want to see Jackman retire his claws, it's highly unlikely that he would ever find a better point to do so.