Short Attention Span Review - Brightburn (2019)

Short Attention Span Review - Brightburn (2019)

Brightburn is a pretty good horror movie built upon a premise that feels much bigger than the fruit it has produced.  I enjoyed it, and I think most horror fans will find it to be perfectly satisfactory.  And I also reckon that many others will share the notion that it could have been much better.  Maybe that's unfair; after all, I'm not sure exactly what more I wanted from it.  Then again, this is a dark riff on the superhero genre, and I find that superhero movies without a worthy antagonist fall short of the mark.  Maybe that's what's lacking here.  Once the picture takes shape, it is quite clear that the protagonists don't stand a chance.  Making matters worse, they're not smart enough or tough enough for your garden variety fright flick threat, much less young Superman by way of John Carpenter.  Still, there are dark thrills aplenty in Brightburn, and there's a surprising amount of gore.  The kills are pretty sadistic, and once things heat up in the second act, they come fast and furious.  Elizabeth Banks is awesome, but that's old news.  David Denman impressed me with his efforts to depict both a pissed off dad who feels the need to put his foot down and a dad who recognizes that his son could incinerate him with laser vision.  Most importantly,  Jackson A. Dunn made for one creepy kid.  Just a mean little bastard.  With super powers.  Yeah, that's pretty scary, but I just can't help but feel that it could have been scarier.  Sometimes that's the danger with a really sound pitch--even if you deliver the goods, you may leave people wishing you had somehow done more.  Anyway, it's still a dope movie, and I am not playing about those gruesome kills.  

Final Grade: B-

Brightburn is dark and surprisingly gory.  It is also a good movie, but one can't help but feel that the premise should have yielded something bigger.

Short Attention Review - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

I've been down with Spidey for about as long as I can remember, and I'm a 40-year-old dude who still rocks comics.  Bonus points: the one mainstay on my pull list has always been The Amazing Spider-Man.  With that in mind, I believe I can speak with some authority when it comes to the webhead.  My expertise extends beyond the comics and also applies to the movies, to include the appropriately obscure.  Of course, I've seen all the mainstream ventures, but I didn't stop there.  Seriously, have you ever gone on a quest to track down every episode of the 1977 television series starring Nicholas Hammond--and forced yourself to watch them all?  Dear lord, I hope not.  I like to think that I paid that tab for all of us.*  Anyway, I say all that to say this: I was a bit unsure about Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and my unease may have increased in light of all the incredible praise heaped upon this 2018 animated adventure.  Surely, I thought, it can't be that good.  Listen up, peeps.  It's that good.  It's freaking epic.  It rocks.  I didn't like it, I positively loved it.  The animation is unique but brilliant, the voice performances are perfect, and the soundtrack is nothing short of superb.  Most importantly, the direction courtesy of Bob Perischetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman is amazing, and the screenplay from Phil Lord and Rodney Rothman is spectacular.  They weave a mesmerizing web of rollicking action and heartfelt drama that elevate this into the upper stratosphere of comic book movies.  Look, I drooled over Infinity War with the rest of you, but Spidey snuck in like a thief in the night and rocked the Casbah with this vivid and thoroughly entertaining smash hit.  I do not believe I am taking things too far when I dub this the best Spider-Man movie we have seen to date, and I enjoy all of the previous efforts, even Spider-Man 3**.  I rate Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming as among the best comic book adaptations ever produced.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse surpasses all of these adventures starring the wallcrawler we hold so dear.  Guess what?  I'm not stopping there.  No, I would like to take things even further, to be honest, and I'm here to declare this one of the best superhero movies out there.  In terms of craftsmanship and quality, it is on par with the best of the lot, to include the previously-mentioned Infinity War, as well as other legit classics in that realm, movies like Logan, The Dark Knight, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Superman II.  I can't recommend this one highly enough, and it is a joy to encounter something that is equal parts diverse, inclusive, and splendid.  I want to thank everyone involved for taking my favorite superhero to new heights.

*For the record, they're kinda fun, and I give the makers of the show props for trying really hard.  That's probably too kind.  Okay, okay.  Let's be real here.  The show was so hokey that it flirts with comedic glory.

**Shoot me if you must.  It's true.

Final Grade: A+

This wonderful feature succeeds partly by inviting lots of takes on our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man to the party, but mostly because it nails each and every one of them, and allows them to participate in a marvelous story.

Short Attention Spane Review - Justice League: Throne of Atlantis (2015)

While Marvel has kicked DC's ass all over the big screen for years now, DC has consistently produced better animated features.  That trend continues with Justice League: Throne of Atlantis, a surprisingly good movie that places Aquaman front and center.  If you just groaned, I feel you.  Aquaman jokes are old hat, and I too initially avoided this one because I just couldn't imagine a tale focused on him being all that good.  Well, I must admit, Throne of Atlantis actually wound up being one of the better animated movies from DC that I've had the pleasure of viewing.  I wouldn't put it up there with a true gem like Flashpoint, but it was highly entertaining.  To be fair, while Aquaman was the man of the hour, the rest of the Justice League were provided with a lot of screen time and therefore this was far from a solo affair.  Batman wound up being the biggest badass in the movie (yawn), but all of the big guns were allowed to shine.  Throne of Atlantis only runs 72 minutes, so it moves at a fast pace and boasts a lot of action and just enough character development to give the piece some weight.  At the end of the day, it felt like the primary thrust of the picture was to welcome Aquaman into the fold and present him as a major player (I reckon that the powers that be at DC aren't big fans of Aquaman jokes) and it certainly managed to do that.  Ideally, Jason Momoa will be able to make an even bigger splash as Arthur Curry when he tackles the role for Zack Snyder.  Regardless, I had a good time with Throne of Atlantis and I think that anyone who likes this type of fare will not be disappointed by it.

Final Grade: B

Color me surprised--Aquaman isn't a total nerd after all.

Short Attention Span Review: Batman - The Dark Knight Returns (2013)

Comics are all the rage these days and that certainly pleases geeks like me.  I'm more of a Marvel guy personally, and while they've owned DC at the box office, the animated movies that each publisher produces have been a different story.  The animated version of Frank Miller's epic The Dark Knight Returns may be the highlight of DC's animated glory and I'm eager to recommend it to you guys.  First off, Batman typically wins people over because he's gritty and determined, not because he has cool superpowers or wears a colorful costume.  Rest assured, he's never been grittier.  This tale concerns an aging yet formidable Bruce Wayne, who has actually spent a decade as a normal reclusive billionaire, having put his crime-fighting efforts on hold.  Those ten years haven't been kind to Gotham, and while Bruce becomes Batman once more to battle a ruthless gang known as the Mutants, he soon finds himself waging war against a couple of his biggest enemies--and his most powerful ally.  Of course he'll catch up with Jim Gordon, who is also nearing his end as a protector of the innocent, and there's a surprising new Robin in the mix to spice things up.  The action is vicious, the voice-acting is sublime (Peter Weller is a perfect choice for the caped crusader), and the animation is crisp and exciting.  There are some deviations from Miller's work, but the animated film that emerges is still a fine representation of his groundbreaking tale.  Originally, this was released in two parts, but I watched the deluxe edition that combines the two into a seamless but massive 148 minute extravaganza.  Batman - The Dark Knight Returns is incredibly violent and I'm honestly a bit surprised that they managed to score a PG-13 rating for this release.  Shocking though it may be in many aspects, it's also a fun ride.  It's fast-paced, it's satirical, it's laced with black humor, and it offers fans a chance to witness gruesome and conclusive confrontations with Two-Face and the Joker, as well as a bone-jarring showdown with Bats squaring off against Superman.  This is an easy title to recommend to mature viewers who enjoy stellar animation, comic book superheroes, or Batman in particular.

Final Grade: A

The Batman/Superman throwdown is the main attraction and it doesn't disappoint.

Thor is a Woman and the Comic Industry's Love for Publicity Stunts

If you haven't heard yet, Thor is set to become a woman.  No, he's not getting a sex-change, though I imagine it's only a matter of time before Marvel or DC does something like that with one of their signature characters.  Someone else (someone with a vagina) is going to take the hammer and replace the Thor many of us know and love.  I suppose this makes perfect sense; the character has only thrilled millions upon millions of readers (and cinema patrons) since 1962.  This comes after recent reports that we're also going to see a new Captain America shortly, with the odds-on favorite to wear the shield being Falcon.  A female Thor is a definite, a black Captain America is likely.

Yawn.

Look, I don't care what color a comic book character is, nor do I care about the character's gender.  Yet as a Spider-Man fan, I can assure those of you who aren't keen on comics that shit like this is the medium's biggest flaw.  Spider-Man and Batman have probably suffered more than most in this regard, though Superman has also been a frequent victim of the industry's love affair with publicity stunts.  Sometimes it's just about shaking things up dramatically and sometimes I think they really do things just to piss fans off, knowing the ensuing uproar will make enough noise to translate into sales to curious parties who just want to know what all the fuss is about.  Give me another logical explanation for the the Clone Saga, perhaps the most wretched of all these affairs, or that "One More Day" nonsense--which seemed to be engineered solely for the purpose of taking a shot at doing something fans would loathe more than the Clone Saga.

Look, it sells, and I get that, and when you're as big as Marvel or DC, there will always be new readers--so who cares if you turn the old readers off?  Yet comic fans are loyal, spending entirely too much money on their hobby.  Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here.  We are passionate about comics and we have absurd hypothetical discussions about them on a regular basis.  If you don't believe me, ask a Batman fan how the caped crusader would fare in a fight against another comic book character.  Hell, ask them how he would fare in throwdown with God himself and they're going to tell you that with enough planning and the right strategy and equipment Bats would win.

I guess that's why I hate the publicity stunt nonsense so much.  It sells, it's good for business in that sense, and the effects are usually only temporary, but it's like a thumb in the eye to the fans who pay the company's bills.  Dude with a thousand Thor comics and a tattoo of Odin's favorite son on his bicep doesn't want his boy to get replaced by a girl.  Batman's biggest fan doesn't want to read about Bats getting his back snapped like a twig by some second-tier villain dressed like a luchador.  Superman fans don't want to attend his funeral after he gets killed by The Thing's cousin, and Spider-Man fans don't want to learn that the webhead is a clone or see everything they love about the character erased in a deal with the devil.  I'm sure it would be the same if it was the other way around.  Luke Cage passing on his powers to a white accountant named Stanley wouldn't go over all that well with Power Man fanboys, and I doubt She-Hulk readers want to see her replaced by yet another male Hulk.  Maybe a purple one this time.

Think about it: Stephen King could make a fortune if he announced that he was going to write a book where Roland, his beloved gunslinger, died in a car accident.  The publicity would be staggering and the outcry from the fans would only add fuel to the fire.  It would make money, but he wouldn't do that, not in a million years, not unless it happened organically while he was writing a book.  CBS isn't going to replace Pat Sajak with a black guy tomorrow just to get a bump in ratings.  Your favorite sports team isn't going to trade your favorite player tomorrow just to get a little buzz.  The View isn't going to swap Whoopi Goldberg out for Chris Rock next week for a few headlines.  Why?  That isn't how you treat your fanbase, that's why.  Yes, there's money to be made and publicity to be gained, at least in the short term, but there's something to be said for delivering a consistent product to your fanbase--a product that they support and encourage, no less.

I love comics.  The medium has a lot to offer and I treasure the way it requires such collaboration and puts so many different talents on display.  I just can't stand the industry's addiction to constantly shaking shit up just to shake shit up and sell a few more copies in the now.  99% of the time, that's all this boils down to.  Superman rose from the grave, Batman healed, Spider-Man isn't a clone*,and I bet we'll have both the Thor and the Captain America we know and love back shortly.  The issues that caused so much fuss when these sweeping changes were made will become dollar bin fodder and the casual readers who tuned in to see why the long-term fans weren't following their favorite characters anymore will have moved on to something else. 

Like I said before: Yawn.  Call me when it's over.  Also: I'll pass on the special debut issues for these developments, even if they have foil covers or come with 72 amazing variants.  Sometimes the variants are mere sketches.  Sometimes they are blank covers.  True story.  You know what?  I think we're pretty much finished here.

*I don't think he is, anyway.  The more Marvel tried to erase the Clone Saga, the more confusing it got.  I challenge anyone to explain it in a coherent paragraph.  Wikipedia has a whole page on it (see link above) and it reads like something someone suffering from severe head trauma jotted down after waking up from a weird dream.

Ben as Bats?

For those of you who don't know, Ben Affleck has been cast to play Batman in Zack Snyder's next Superman film, which will apparently pit DC's most iconic heroes against one another.  This is drawing a lot of fire from the internet crowd, though some are backing the decision.  My initial reaction was to groan, but that's largely due to the fact that the move brought back memories of Daredevil, a film I'm still struggling to forget.

Having said that, many of the problems I have with Daredevil weren't Ben's fault, and even at that point he probably would have been a better choice for Bats than Marvel's horned hero.  I think it's fair to say that he has evolved, and currently, he probably has just the look WB was looking for.  They've been saying they want an older, wiser Batman, and Affleck is at a stage in his career where I think he fits that bill.

The notion of Batman and Superman throwing down in a major motion picture is pretty epic, though I do worry that this project is being rushed.  As long as they have a quality script, I think this movie might just deliver the goods.  Daredevil suffered from a lousy script and terrible direction, as well as a pair of awful revisionist takes on Bullseye and the Kingpin.  The fight scenes were terrible and there just wasn't a lot to like about the picture aside from a gripping opening and David Keith as Daredevil's pop.  I don't think the upcoming Batman vs. Superman throwdown will have those problems; Snyder is a visionary directory who always scores big when it comes to action scenes.

At first, I wasn't sure about Ben as Bats, but as long as there's a good script in the mix, I think this could wind up surprising a lot of people.

Note: The Town is one of the best thrillers to come down the pipe in the last several years, and the more I thought about this, the more Affleck's role in that feature shaped my opinion.  I was a big fan of Good Will Hunting once upon a when, and everything Affleck did for Kevin Smith was golden, but it's really The Town that has me thinking he could excel in this part.

Drive-In Double Feature: Man of Steel & World War Z

I'm a big fan of the drive-in, probably because some of my earliest memories are of watching classics like Flash Gordon, Conan the Barbarian, and The Deep at the drive-in with my parents when I was a tiny little guy.  Now, I have my own tiny little people to care for, and fortunately for my wife and I, we live in Ridgeway.  That means we're only twenty minutes from Eden, North Carolina and the Eden Drive-In, which is definitely one of my favorite places.

This weekend, they were showing Man of Steel and World War Z, and there was no way that we were going to miss out on that.  So, we packed a cooler full of goodies, loaded the kids in the van, hit up Cook-Out for some great food, and made our way to the drive-in.  How were the movies?  Well, here are my thoughts:

Man of Steel

The Good: The cast was awesome.  Henry Cavill is no Christopher Reeve, but he was a great fit for the part.  Russell Crowe nearly stole the show in a limited role, and Kevin Costner was equally potent in an even smaller part.  Diane Lane never misses, and Amy Adams was okay as Lois Lane.  I dig Michael Shannon, and he did a nice job as the heavy, General Zod.  However, Terence Stamp was far superior in that role, though I'm not sure that the screenwriters gave Shannon the type of material he needed to surpass Stamp's more flamboyant and dastardly Zod.  Seriously, Shannon didn't even get to command Supes to kneel before him.  Also, lost amidst all these fine performances was Christopher Meloni, who did a stellar job with a fairly badass soldier who was rather heroic despite the lack of any super-powers. 
The effects were top-notch, the action scenes were exciting, and the future is bright for DC's top gun.

The Bad:  I didn't necessarily like the way the story was plotted.  We opened with Superman's birth on Krypton, but once he is sent to earth, we jumped forward to his adult years and saw his upbringing with Ma and Pa Kent via a series of flashbacks.  It worked to a certain extent, but it also relegated his origin to something of a highlight reel.  Additionally, it seemed a bit unrealistic, as the filmmakers were so intent on delivering one action scene after another that it felt as if young Clark Kent spent his life jumping from one earth-shattering life-or-death episode to the next.  From school buses plunging into rivers, to tornadoes, to monumental explosions on oil rigs in the sea, everywhere Clark went quickly became the setting for a disaster of some sort.  Finally, the last third of the picture was so packed with action that it lacked the emotion that gave the first two-thirds a serious lift.

The Verdict: Unlike the woeful Superman Returns, this was a solid relaunch for one of America's most cherished heroes.  It wasn't as good as Superman or Superman II, both of which I consider classics, but that was probably to be expected.  It definitely provides a great foundation for future films and Cavill is a great choice to take the character forward.  It's not as good as most of Marvel's comic book films have been, nor is it in the same league as Christopher Nolan's work with Batman, but Zack Snyder has scored a hit and could be poised to take Superman even further. 

World War Z

The Good: Brad Pitt was superb, and the movie was placed firmly upon his shoulders.  Additionally, the picture was intense, ditching the blood and gore most zombie films are known for and emphasizing the action and suspense.  In truth, World War Z played out like a thriller boasting a few scares, and while many won't like this direction, I thought it made for one hell of a ride.  The action sequences grew bigger and bigger before a quiet and utterly gripping conclusion that sealed the deal for me.  I think World War Z is a real winner!

The Bad: If it were up to me, I would ditch the PG-13 rating and crank up the gore, but it's not up to me and the lack of gore didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  By the time I had gotten accustomed to the tone of the film, it wasn't really bothering me at all.  Also, I haven't read the book, but I understand that this is far from a strict adaptation.  Most seem to think it isn't really an adaptation at all, and many of them might have stood a better chance of enjoying the picture if it had been called something else.  Lastly, there were a few too many quick cuts in the first act.  I was groaning twenty minutes in and thinking that the shaky cam was going to ruin this one for me, but things settled down after the initial carnage and I wasn't bothered by this throughout the second and third acts. 

The Verdict: World War Z is a kickass motion picture boasting some of the best action sequences ever seen in a zombie film.  It is cemented by a subdued but stellar performance courtesy of star Brad Pitt and a tense closing reel that ratchets up the tension to superb effect.

So, there you have it.  I had high hopes for Man of Steel, but I was a little worried about World War Z.  In true drive-in fashion, I wound up enjoying Man of Steel despite some reservations, and World War Z rocked me.  Having said that, both films were very, very good, and I strongly recommend each of them.  Also, if you live in the vicinity, make sure and visit Eden Drive-In.  It's a great place to enjoy a good movie, and the prices are terrific.  If you have kids, they'll have a great time at the playground and they'll also have a blast with the drive-in experience.