Short Attention Span Review - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Short Attention Span Review - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Oye.  This movie had so much potential, but it just couldn't connect the dots.  While director Renny Harlin did manage to drop some cool imagery on us, and there were some rather solid action bits, a lack of character development and a jokey script undermined his efforts.  Robert Englund was surely invested in the material, and seemed to be having a ball with his part, but it was just a little too much.  I enjoyed some of Freddy's wisecracks, but I didn't really want to see him portrayed as a murderous clown.  And that was apparently the goal in The Dream Master, which also suffered from a number of cringeworthy gags that missed the mark entirely.  There were some zingers that landed, and some of the creativity that made Dream Warriors a winner made it onto the screen.  However, while it was servicable for this type of flick, the effects work wasn't quite as good as what we saw in the prior entry.  The script dispensed with several pivotal characters with minimal fanfare, and failed to develop their succesors enough to inspire me to root for them.  Aside from the roach kill and a rousing finale, I nearly lost interest.  To be fair, the roach kill was totally f'n gnarly, but by the time I got to that part. it was a genuine "too little, too late" scenario.  Then we got the parting shot, an obligatory "Freddy's still out there" gimmick--and it was really, really weak.  In fact, that would be an adequate summary of this late 80s slasher sequel: really, really weak.  If not for that one wild moment when The Dream Master totally bugged out, I would give this one an "F."

Final Grade: D-

Robert Englund has a great time with The Dream Master.  I did not.

Short Attention Span Review - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Short Attention Span Review - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Dream Warriors is a fan favorite for many reasons.  Among them are an impressive cast for a late 80s horror flick, a lot of creativity, kooky effects, and director Chuck Russell filling in nicely for genre heavyweight Wes Craven.  It also boasts a lively script, some of Englund's best work straddling the fence between horror and comedy, and a frantic pace.  It is surely the best entry in this series that Craven didn't engineer, and it's a pretty damn good horror movie in general.  I love the inventive kills, and there are some huge beats in the story.  The only shortcomings are a few instances where there was a little too much cheese in the recipe and a couple of effects gags that miss the mark.  Honestly, that's to be expected in a film of this ilk that aims to do so much, and there are way more hits than misses.  The TV kill is one of my favorites, and the puppet sequence is also wicked.  John Saxon's presence in the closing reel is a huge plus, and the subplot with the creepy but helpful nun is a nice touch.  This is a really fun spookshow with a lot of substance, and while the first film from this franchise is much better (I do consider it to be a legitimate classic), Dream Warriors is as good as it got for Freddy beyond that.  And that's good enough for me to show it some love here in the Land of Way.

Final Grade: B

Dream Warriors shines when emphasizing the creativity that always separated this franchise from the pack.

Short Attention Span Review: Happy Death Day (2017)

Short Attention Span Review: Happy Death Day (2017)

Shoot me.  I'm very late to the party here.  However, with the sequel opening to rock-solid reviews, I decided I should finally give Happy Death Day a look.  What can I say?  Shame on me for putting this off for so long.  Happy Death Day is a big winner on every front.  You know the premise: it's basically Groundhog Day by way of Scream.  Sounds cool, right?  Well, as so many of you already know, it is entirely possible that this film represents the perfect realization of that marriage.  The picture is packed with thrills, chills, and chuckles.  It also has some surprising depth, and may even pluck at your heartstrings a bit.  The direction from Christopher Landon is remarkable, the cast is game (particularly Jessica Rothe, who is nothing short of sensational as the lead), and the script is clever as hell--the big fear with this premise is that it will grow tiresome, but it only becomes more innovative as it progresses.  Bear McCreary's score is top shelf stuff, and the killer design and the effects work all hit the mark.  Happy Death Day has everything going for it, and it offers slasher fans a damn good time at the movies.  I am suddenly VERY eager to scope out the sequel.  Well done, Blumhouse!  Between this and the new Halloween, this production company is giving those of us who grew up watching Michael, Freddy, and Jason do their thing a lot to howl about.  And the new kids?  Well, they might finally be getting their own worthy addition to this vein of filmmaking.  It's about time.

Final Grade: A+

Honestly, I don't know how far they can stretch this premise, but the sequel is getting rave reviews and this may just be the start of a stellar franchise.

Short Attention Span Review: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane has to rank among the most poorly-received films of all time.  The movie was ripped to shreds by critics and failed to perform at the box office.  Many protested the fact that it was released at all, aiming politically correct arrows at Andrew Dice Clay's offensive persona.  Let's be clear: the movie is vulgar and boasts numerous lewd jabs that are guaranteed to bother sensitive viewers.  Gays and women are among the primary targets of the lead character's off-color humor, but there are plenty of jokes to go around and it might not be easy to identify any particular segment of humanity that isn't targeted by some of the zingers generously sprinkled throughout the picture.  Having said all that, the question remains: is The Adventures of Ford Fairlane any good?  Honestly, I think it's a minor classic of sorts.  Clay (whose stand-up has always been rather hit-or-miss) is perfect as the lead, a private dick who specializes in cases that involve the music industry.  Ford's keen detective skills aren't as apparent as his love for one-liners and his inability to control his raging libido, but maybe a lack of motivation is to blame--his rock star clients tend to pay him with gifts and memorabilia as opposed to cash.  Wayne Newton is superb as the slimy villain.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I'll say it again: Wayne Newton is superb in this movie.  If it had fared better, who knows what his sleazy turn as a corrupt and murderous producer would have done for his acting career.  Robert Englund generates a lot of laughs as a kooky henchman, and Ed O'Neill damn near steals the show as a smarmy cop who can't stand Dice's cocky P.I.--the scene where he finally reveals the origins of his animosity toward Fairlane is one of my favorite parts of the movie.  There are a few decent action sequences and Renny Harlin probably did his best job as a director with this glitzy exercise in style and excess.  Yes, those who are easily bothered by such material should steer clear of The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, but those who like dirty jokes and obnoxious comedies will find that this much maligned feature film from 1990 is funny, cool, and exciting in equal measures.  It's very offensive, to be sure, but it is also very entertaining, and it remains one of my favorite comedies 25 years after it limped into theaters.

Final Grade: A

One of my favorite aspects of this vulgar comedy is the antagonistic
relationship between Dice's private detective and O'Neill's stiff cop.
Their exchanges are priceless.

Top 5 Wes Craven Movies

Wes Craven was undoubtedly one of the most legendary creators ever to make his mark on the horror genre.  This amazing director gave us two of the biggest and baddest franchises in that realm and he was also directly responsible for a number of fright flicks that will be cherished for years to come.  Anyone who lived through the 80s (quite possibly the greatest decade ever) is well aware of this, and Craven was still making waves when grunge hit the scene--and beyond!  I hope you enjoy this tribute to a true master's work, a Top 5 where I discuss my favorite offerings from the one and only Wes Craven.

#5) Red Eye (2005)

Craven is best known for movies about things that go bump in the night, but this tense thriller is one of his coolest features.  It doesn't hurt that the leads are Cillian Murphy and Rachel McAdams, two top-notch performers who made the most of an exciting script.  Murphy is menacing and manipulative as the villain, while McAdams makes for a gutsy heroine who is intelligent and surprisingly tough.  Most of the film concerns these two playing a nice game of cat-and-mouse while seated beside one another on a red eye flight, but the picture never suffers from the sort of strain that often undermines tales that unfold in a compact environment.  Red Eye is clever and inventive from start to finish and it is bolstered by a nifty score courtesy of Marco Beltrami.  For his part, the director deftly explores his primary characters and the frightening situation that pits them against one another while keeping his foot on the pedal and constantly ratcheting up the tension until the gripping finale.  Red Eye was a bit of a departure for this horror maestro, but he did a fine job with it and I think it is worthy of the #5 spot on this list.  As we move forward, we'll turn our attention to the scary movies that Wes Craven is best known for, but this underrated flight into suspense from 2005 was surely a worthy addition to his legacy.

Craven does a fine job as director, but perhaps the biggest strengths of
Red Eye are Cillian Murphy and Rachel McAdams as the stars of the picture.

. . .

#4) The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

In 1977, Craven gave us The Hills Have Eyes, a horrific voyage into violence and terror.  The film concerns a fairly typical family on vacation who take a little detour into the California desert.  Yes, there's an old man who warns them of danger, telling them to stay on the main road.  Yes, they wind up stranded in an eerie expanse of rock and sand where cannibalistic savages lurk.  The sun sets and bloody horror ensues.  Craven is working with a strong script (he wrote it) and he does a great job with the mood and the atmosphere.  Additionally, though Dee Wallace and Michael Berryman are present in early roles, most of the cast consisted of unknowns, and the director was still able to wring sound performances out of them.  The Hills Have Eyes is exceptionally violent, and the family at the center of the picture is brutalized to such an extent that they damn near become monsters themselves.  Those who survive this grisly shocker will emerge with bloody hands and broken minds, and the carnage is laced with quality scares.  It's a simple picture, to be honest, and this film surely came at a time when Wes wasn't working with anything resembling a big budget.  However, the end result is a thrilling and disgusting tale of death and destruction that resonated with audiences.  In fact, The Hills Have Eyes was successful enough to generate a less potent sequel, and a modern reboot took the brutality to new heights and generated a less potent sequel of its own.  It's not classic Craven; he was still earning his stripes at this point, but it is one hell of a horror film and it clearly signified that the director was going to be a tremendous presence in the genre.

Savage and terrifying, The Hills Have Eyes is an ominous chiller
that features a wealth of violence and a handful of big scares.

. . .

#3) The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)

Here's a fantastic chiller from Craven that is often overlooked despite the fact that it is one of his most ambitious films.  Starring Bill Pullman, The Serpent and the Rainbow is a wicked fright flick that concerns an anthropologist who travels to Haiti to investigate claims that a man has been raised from the dead.  Arriving during a revolution, Pullman's Dennis Alan soon finds himself embroiled in a sinister saga that is ripe with political intrigue and black magic.  Zakes Mokae excels as the villain of the piece, a fiendish madman who wields both the powers of tyranny and voodoo.  The Serpent and the Rainbow is loosely based on a book by botanist Wade Davis (a Harvard graduate) and is thereby billed as being "based on a true story" despite the fact that it doesn't adhere closely to the original text and the book itself was heavily criticized by the scientific community upon release.  Regardless, the picture is filled with spooky imagery and boasts a number of sequences that are guaranteed to make audiences squirm.  Perhaps the most gripping scene in The Serpent and the Rainbow is alluded to in the poster and most of the marketing materials for the picture, and Craven doesn't disappoint when it's time to bury Bill Pullman alive.  In addition to being scary and provocative, this one is surprisingly exciting and moves at a faster pace than many horror films.  The top two spots on my list are reserved for a pair of Craven's grandest successes, films that every fan of the genre will recognize, but the #3 spot belongs to this creepy little trip to Haiti.  Warning: the next time you drop in, don't ask the local witch doctor to show you how to make a zombie.

In The Serpent and the Rainbow, Bill Pullman plays
an anthropologist who has the time of his life in Haiti.

. . .

#2) Scream (1996)

Now, there are some who believe that Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson revolutionized the horror genre with this witty slasher flick in 1996.  I'm not one of those people, but I love Scream nonetheless.  I dig the entire series, to be honest, and I do love the way the characters in these films are so aware of the standard tropes that so many pictures in this vein employ.  Smart, edgy, and funny?  Yes.  Riveting and bloody?  Sure thing.  Revolutionary?  Well, I don't know about all that, but I'm still a big fan and I'm putting the first (and best) entry in this series at #2 on my list.  The cast is stellar and Williamson gave Craven one of the coolest scripts that he would ever get to work with.  The first scene is one of the finest openings in the history of the genre and the picture never loses steam.  Scream is ripe with gory kills, big laughs, and shocking twists.  What's not to love?  Neve Campbell offered up a performance worthy of Jamie Lee Curtis and would continue to thrill audiences in all four of the movies this franchise has produced to date.  David Arquette and Courtney Cox also excelled in what may be their finest big-screen roles, and the same case could probably be made for both Mathew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich if Lillard wasn't born to play Shaggy.  Scream isn't Craven's masterpiece (I imagine all of you who are reading this know where I'm going at #1), but it is one of the best slasher flicks of all time.  While it may not be the best slasher flick out there, I'm pretty sure that it is probably the most entertaining slasher flick of them all, and it is surely a fine example of a fantastic director producing a great film in a genre that he cherished.  

Anyone who enjoys a good horror film (and slasher flicks in particular)
should have a bloody good time with Wes Craven's Scream.

. . .

#1) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

True story: the first A Nightmare on Elm Street is a genuine horror classic.  A first-rate slasher flick needs a fearsome villain, right?  Freddy is a demented icon, though later pictures would turn him into a bit of a clown.  That doesn't matter, for A Nightmare on Elm Street doesn't require Freddy to play for laughs the whole time--he cracks wise here and there, but there's no doubt that he's out for blood.  The Freddy that we meet in this landmark venture is vicious and creepy in equal measures.  A classic horror flick needs an epic score, right?  We've got one here.  What about some grisly kills?  The wicked mayhem that unfolds in this one is very creative and very, very bloody.  We also need a good cast and a strong heroine (dudes can apply for the gig, but it typically works better when we give this part to a chick in slasher fare) to round things out, and once again, A Nightmare on Elm Street is firing on all cylinders.  Hey look, it's John Saxon!  We just raised the ante in a big way, folks.  Yes, Wes Craven was at his very best as a director when he was at the helm for this smash hit, a picture that continues to scare audiences worldwide.  It remains one of the best slasher flicks of all time--if not the very best.  Only Halloween could present a legitimate challenge on that front.  In fact, A Nightmare on Elm Street is so twisted and so expertly plotted that some might chafe at the fact that I've labelled it a slasher flick, but I love slasher flicks so I don't consider that to be a slight.  Regardless, it's a big winner, and I have no problem giving this motion picture the highest of grades.  Wes Craven was a great director and the horror genre won't be the same without him.  A Nightmare on Elm Street was his finest motion picture, and it's a movie that will continue to haunt audiences for years to come.

Over 30 years after it was originally released, this legendary
gem from Wes Craven is still giving horror fans nightmares.

Short Attention Span Review: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

When you dig horror as much as I do, you wind up picking favorites.  My favorite series has always been the Friday the 13th series.  Well, it's actually the Phantasm series, but given that it doesn't boast nearly as many films as the various other series that we horror fans know and love, I don't know if it's fair to include it.  Anyway, after reading that, you're probably thinking that I must not have a whole lot of love for Freddy.  Not true, not true at all.  I dig Freddy a lot.  Okay, a lot of the sequels are pretty damn silly, but my favorite Friday the 13th is Freddy vs. Jason (yes, it counts), and the first Nightmare on Elm Street from 1984 is a genuine horror classic.  To be fair, there are some other worthwhile entries in this series, but Wes Craven set the bar too damn high with this terrifying gem.  Maybe the sequels had such a hard time keeping up simply because this movie does everything right.  A good slasher flick needs a fearsome villain, right?  Freddy is a demented masterpiece in that regard, though later pictures would turn him into a bit of a clown.  We need an epic score too, don't we?  We've got one here.  What about some grisly kills?  The wicked mayhem that unfolds in this iconic venture is very creative and very, very bloody.  We also need a good cast and a strong heroine (dudes can apply for the gig, but it typically works better when we give this part to a chick in slasher fare) to round things out, and once again, Nightmare on Elm Street delivers the goods.  Wes Craven was at his very best as a director when he was at the helm for this genuine smash hit, a picture that continues to scare audiences worldwide.  Having watched it again this weekend, I can assure you that it has legitimate staying power, and it remains one of the best slasher flicks of all time--if not the very best.  In fact, it's so inventive and so expertly plotted that some might chafe at the fact that I've labelled it a slasher flick, but I love slasher flicks so I don't consider that to be a slight.  Regardless, it's a big winner, and whether I favor another series or two over the Nightmare on Elm Street films or not, I have no problem giving this landmark motion picture the highest of grades.

Final Grade: A+

Bonus Points: John Saxon!  I'm sorry, dude was Roper in Enter the Dragon.  Any movie he's in gets bonus points for giving him a part.

Freddy's great at nightmares and terrible at foreplay.