Short Attention Span Review: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

When you dig horror as much as I do, you wind up picking favorites.  My favorite series has always been the Friday the 13th series.  Well, it's actually the Phantasm series, but given that it doesn't boast nearly as many films as the various other series that we horror fans know and love, I don't know if it's fair to include it.  Anyway, after reading that, you're probably thinking that I must not have a whole lot of love for Freddy.  Not true, not true at all.  I dig Freddy a lot.  Okay, a lot of the sequels are pretty damn silly, but my favorite Friday the 13th is Freddy vs. Jason (yes, it counts), and the first Nightmare on Elm Street from 1984 is a genuine horror classic.  To be fair, there are some other worthwhile entries in this series, but Wes Craven set the bar too damn high with this terrifying gem.  Maybe the sequels had such a hard time keeping up simply because this movie does everything right.  A good slasher flick needs a fearsome villain, right?  Freddy is a demented masterpiece in that regard, though later pictures would turn him into a bit of a clown.  We need an epic score too, don't we?  We've got one here.  What about some grisly kills?  The wicked mayhem that unfolds in this iconic venture is very creative and very, very bloody.  We also need a good cast and a strong heroine (dudes can apply for the gig, but it typically works better when we give this part to a chick in slasher fare) to round things out, and once again, Nightmare on Elm Street delivers the goods.  Wes Craven was at his very best as a director when he was at the helm for this genuine smash hit, a picture that continues to scare audiences worldwide.  Having watched it again this weekend, I can assure you that it has legitimate staying power, and it remains one of the best slasher flicks of all time--if not the very best.  In fact, it's so inventive and so expertly plotted that some might chafe at the fact that I've labelled it a slasher flick, but I love slasher flicks so I don't consider that to be a slight.  Regardless, it's a big winner, and whether I favor another series or two over the Nightmare on Elm Street films or not, I have no problem giving this landmark motion picture the highest of grades.

Final Grade: A+

Bonus Points: John Saxon!  I'm sorry, dude was Roper in Enter the Dragon.  Any movie he's in gets bonus points for giving him a part.

Freddy's great at nightmares and terrible at foreplay.

Short Attention Span Review: DeepStar Six (1989)

I like movies set in the ocean, particularly if they are horror movies.  Add a sea creature of some sort and you are promptly awarded bonus points.  I'm also a big fan of the Friday the 13th series, so I try to give DeepStar Six the benefit of the doubt because it was directed by Sean S. Cunningham and Harry Manfredini did the score.  In the end, however, it's an okay movie that does fall a little flat.  It doesn't help matters that the superior Leviathan debuted in the same year.  DeepStar Six has a quality score and Cunnigham's direction is steady enough.  Throw in some creative death scenes, a sound performance by Miguel Ferrer, and some effective gore, and we should be good, right?  Where does the problem lie?  I'm pretty sure it's the monster.  The movie is nearly over before we see the monster, and while I'm generally okay with that approach, here I think it was probably less about style and building up to that moment than concealing DeepStar Six's greatest failing.  The monster isn't all that effective.  Having said all that, the movie is still watchable and there are surely inferior horror films, so if you're looking for a B-rate horror flick set in the ocean, you can settle for DeepStar Six.  It's not stellar, but it doesn't suck.  It just manages to stay afloat.

Final Grade: C

Jaws 2

Watched Jaws 2 with the fam Saturday night.  That's how we Waylands roll.  I know Kristen wasn't all that enthused initially, but even she wound up enjoying the picture.  I have always liked it a lot.  I mean, it's not Jaws, but that shouldn't be a surprise.  However, it's common knowledge that Jaws inspired a slew of imitations over the years, and I still feel that Jaws 2 is the best killer shark movie that isn't Jaws.

Roy and several others return and Amity feels right.  The effects are nifty, there are some exciting sequences, and I like the bit the kids and their boats.  In a way, this picture kind of hits me like a marriage between Jaws and a vintage Friday the 13th, say one of the early 80s editions.  It does feel like the shark is stalking Brody and the people of Amity, and there are several scenes in Jaws 2 that would fit perfectly in a slasher flick. 

I've always liked the ending, and though it is woefully inferior to Jaws, my favorite movie of all time, I am rather fond of the forgotten stepchild that is Jaws 2.  If you're looking for a good time with teeth, you could surely do worse.

Ranking the Friday the 13th Films

For me, this means any film featuring my man Jason Voorhees.  I'm a lifelong fan of the horror genre, and the Friday the 13th series is one of my personal favorites.  I've always had a soft spot for these gems, maybe because I grew up in the sticks and camping has always been something that I enjoy.  I definitely think Jason is better than Freddy, and though I may ultimately favor the Phantasm series, sample size is definitely a win for the Friday the 13th camp.  Anyway, here's how I would rank the movies:

1) Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - In my humble opinion, it's easily the most entertaining entry for either of these beloved franchises.  Seeing Jason play the hero in the closing reel is pretty epic as well, and that throwdown rocks!

2) Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) - Brutal stuff.  It opens with the lead from the first one biting the dust and never lets up.  It's short, scary, and one of my favorite slasher films from the '80s--the decade of the slasher flick.

3) Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) - Some think this is a cheesy affair, and maybe they're right, but it's also kooky and creepy.  I dig it. 

4) Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982) - This one is definitely cheesy, but it's also a solid entry that I really enjoy.  Love the disco version of the theme song!!!!

5) Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) - Cheesy again, but also damn entertaining.  Thom Mathews from Return of the Living Dead shines as the hero, and this probably has the best opening scene in the series.  I'm also a big fan of the conclusion.

6) Jason X (2001) - Sorry, I love it.  Great kills, cool story, utterly ridiculous.  Sounds like a good time, right?

7) Friday the 13th (1980) - I have to give the original some love.  This is where it all began, and it's one of the most sincere and unique efforts in the series.

8) Jason Goes to Hell (1993) - This one is a lot of fun and it has some nice effects.  Some of my friends might put it at the top of their list.

9) Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) - I should probably rank this one a bit higher; it is a really good entry, and I'm very fond of it.  These lists are never easy to put together because of choices like this.

10) Friday the 13th (2009 - reboot) - I actually like it, but it doesn't quite fit and it obviously didn't rejuvenate the franchise like they had hoped.  Dude throwing down with Jason at the end doesn't quite work for me either, and the archery shit is dumb.  That aside, there are some solid kills, and the prick ranks among the best pricks in the series.  That has to count for something, right?  The opening is intense as hell, but it stumbles a lot after that.

11) Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) - It's hard for me to include this one.  It's not that good, and it doesn't feel like it belongs at all.  Truthfully, I like it much more now than I did then, but I still don't like it. 

12) Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) - Pure shit.  Maybe the worst ending of any horror film in the history of horror films.  Jason should have killed the writer and the director instead.