Short Attention Span Review: Flash Gordon (1980)

Short Attention Span Review: Flash Gordon (1980)

I don't think I can be objective here, but maybe I don't need to be.  I don't really know, to be completely honest with you  You see, I'm not sure that there is a greater paradox in the realm of the motion picture than Flash Gordon. It is entirely possible that this is a "so bad it's good" sort of movie.  There are definitely a few bits at the very least that would have wound up on the cutting room floor if the powers that be were looking to create a genuine classic with this brazen affair.  However, there is also a sense of majesty paired with some splendid entertainment value that elevates this colorful and quixotic gem.  In terms of sheer enjoyment, it is hard to top, and despite some clunky performances and a few goofy moments courtesy of the FX or the plotting, it does many things amazingly well.  The color palette is a true splendor, and the score is a genuine masterpiece courtesy of Queen, bolstered by a main theme that is nothing short of sheer perfection.  The excitement is non-stop, and the stakes are incredibly high.  The heroes are lovable and the villains are despicable, and anyone who doesn't smile while they partake of this feast for the senses is dead inside.  And yet there are those wooden performances and those moments where you can't quite tell if the filmmakers are going for camp or simply missing the mark by a mile. It is cheeky.  It is downright silly.  And somewhere, deep down inside, your inner critic is bound to feel that the material is beneath you.  But then it soars and despite your misgivings, you find yourself being blown away by all the energy and grandeur, and somehow the sappy plot gets under your skin.  Then you're actually moved by this barrage of sight and sound that is a lot like a puppy: awkward, a little smelly, and 100% lovable.  It's Flash Gordon.  It could be terrible.  It could be the greatest sci-fi adventure of all time.  You're free to make your own call, but as for me, . . . well, it's the first movie I really remember seeing, at a drive-in no less.  I have loved it for as long as I have loved the movies.  Yes, it's true--I like Flash as much as Mark Wahlberg and Ted do.  Maybe more.

Final Grade: A

It may be of the "so bad it's good" variety.  It may be totally legendary.  I'm honestly not sure which is the right answer, but  given our history I'm going to give Flash Gordon the benefit of the doubt here.

Short Attention Span Review: Dreamscape (1984)

Dreamscape is the kind of whacko thrill ride that I can really get behind.  The 80s were a good decade for silly films like this, and there are few sci-fi/horror/fantasy/action/political intrigue medleys that I enjoy as much as this one.  Dennis Quaid is a great lead and David Patrick Kelly is a wonderful villain.  Max Von Sydow and Christopher Plummer are also on hand, and Kate Capshaw and Eddie Albert are among the other performers who do a splendid job of bringing a wild script to life.  The movie concerns scientific efforts to manipulate dreams that essentially result in the development of dream warriors who wield extraordinary power in their nocturnal adventures.  This is troubling, as these dream warriors can invade the dreams of others.  One is good, a likable psychic crook (Quaid) who finds purpose helping people dealing with traumatic nightmares.  One is bad, a cold-blooded psycho (Kelly) who is soon working with a shady government official (Plummer) who wants him to kill the president.  The dream sequences are unique and satisfying, and the movie mostly succeeds at the various things it attempts to accomplish.  The horror and sci-fi elements work best, while the action bits frequently fall flat.  Most importantly, Dreamscape requires Quaid to help a young boy who is menaced by Snake-Man (a groovy menace who appears thanks to a crafty combination of stop-motion animation and practical effects) in his nightmares.  Snake-Man is equal parts cheese and classic goodness, and he's the coolest thing about Dreamscape, a goofy thriller that I really dig.

Final Grade: B+

Is Snake-Man the best thing about Dreamscape?  Yes, I do believe that he is.