Showing posts with label feature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feature. Show all posts

Friday, January 10, 2020

Short Attention Span Review - Underwater (2020)


Short Attention Span Review - Underwater (2020)

I'm a sucker for monster movies set in the depths of the ocean, and I readily admit that most of these films aren't very good.  With that in mind, it is safe to say that Underwater follows in their footsteps.  While better than Deepstar Six and pretty much on the same level as Leviathan, it falls well short of the high water mark for such fare, Deep Rising.  However, it does have many things going for it.  I really liked the design elements, to include the sets and the creepy-crawlies.  The frantic pace seemed like a good idea, particularly during a rousing opening.  After that, however, the movie got lost and floundered before finding its way back for an explosive conclusion with some potent emotional heft thrown in for good measure.  Though they were painted in the broadest of strokes, I did enjoy the characters, and the performances were far better than what we often see in such a run-of-the-mill creature feature.  I did find Kristen Stewart to be particularly effective, and she certainly gave it her all.  However, it did seem a bit odd that she had to spend so much of the picture running around in her underwear.  At one point, they noted that the temperature had risen ten degrees because of an incident, but at seven miles below the surface, I doubt that turns the ocean into a liquid sauna.  And they also pointed out that the dive suits they frequently lumbered around in were too tight to accommodate regular clothing,  but since wetsuits and form-fitting clothing are actual things, this too felt like a lame excuse.  Like, no bullshit, there are probably women in prison flicks where the ladies aren't exploited quite as much.  My biggest complaint would be what could have been a total lack of competency, though I think it was actually a desire to provide an immersive effect geared toward exploring claustrophobia and disorientation.  Translation: for much of the picture, I had no idea what was happening.  There were several key moments (to include two pivotal deaths) that will forever remain mysteries to me, despite what were no doubt highly expensive displays of Grade A shaky cam magic.  In the dark.  Key dialogue was muffled by heavy breathing and distorted transmissions.  Entire setpieces were lost to a fog of paranoia and jarring visuals, punctuated by quick glimpses of darkness and more darkness.  Maybe this sounded good in concept, but when a character you enjoy perishes and you have no idea what went down, it's a bit of a bummer.  When it happens more than once, it becomes flat out frustrating.  That's how I would ultimately describe Underwater: frustrating.  Everything necessary for a groovy chiller is on hand, but the ingredients are misused, and the resulting dish is a little bland, a little messy, and very forgettable despite a couple of exciting flourishes.

Final Grade: C-


Kristen Stewart is pictured here in more than just her undergarments.  She bares her soul in a fine lead performance that also requires her to bare everything else far too often.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Short Attention Span Review: Dracula Untold (2014)

I've got a lot of love for all things Dracula, and lately that equates to being harshly critical of the way that brand is utilized.  In my personal opinion, the ill-fated television show that hit the scene in 2013 was maybe the worst television show that I've ever watched--and that's not hyperbole.  I hated that shit.  So, I have to admit that I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Dracula Untold.  The previews had promise, but the approach bothered me.  Yes, this is Dracula as an anti-hero, and there's a definite comic book feel to the piece, but what can I say?  It worked, and most importantly, it was entertaining.  Luke Evans was a quality Drac, and the effects and the direction were worthy of the Count.  I thought the sets were gorgeous and the mood and atmosphere really did the job.  Okay, so it's a far cry from Coppola's version, but as a fresh take it never stood any real chance of challenging a faithful adaptation of Stoker's timeless tale.  In the end, Dracula Untold fully realized its potential; it wasn't destined for greatness, but it did a great job of delivering upon its cooky premise.  Bonus points: it will leave you longing for a sequel.  That's always a good sign for a fresh take on a beloved property. 

Final Grade: B


Look out--some damn fool has gone and pissed Dracula off!