Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Disclaimer: Witches give me the willies.  Keep that in mind as you read this review, for The Witch is most certainly the type of film that will captivate many while others will not be entranced in the slightest.  The period setting is perfectly captured and will enrich the experience for some, while others will find such detail to be tedious and the authentic puritan dialogue will be equally hit and miss.  The ominous score and the mounting dread should be impossible to ignore for any reasonable viewer, though the shape of the tale and the eventual outcome will leave many totally unsatisfied.  As for me, I'm not ashamed to admit that The Witch scared the shit out of me, and I found the conclusion to be nothing short of horrific.  The primal depiction of witchcraft and the subtlety with which evil poisons the proceedings slowly ensnared me, and by the time the credits rolled I couldn't help but feel that I had become trapped in a nightmare of the highest order.  In many ways, The Witch is a tough watch, and there is little reward for the audience in the absence of comic relief, thrills, or hope.  Writer and director Robert Eggers is clearly a force to be reckoned with, and Anya Taylor-Joy stands out in a tight ensemble piece where everyone delivers the goods.  Chilling, provocative yet reserved, and utterly unique, The Witch pulls off a rare feat in that it is both incredibly understated and incredibly frightening. 

Final Grade: A+

An intense and captivating picture that surely falls within the "love it or leave it" spectrum, The Witch scared the piss out of me.

Short Attention Span Review: The Boogens (1981)

Short Attention Span Review: The Boogens (1981)

Warning: I'm giving to give The Boogens a much better grade than it truly deserves.  I'm going to do this because I was entirely too young when I first saw it and it had quite an impact on my impressionable young mind.  In my defense, Stephen King is apparently a big fan of the picture as well, so cheesy rubber monster effects aside, it can't be all that bad.  The Boogens is a creative and well-plotted horror film that generates a great many chills and thrills, particularly in the first two acts.  That's because early on the filmmakers go to great lengths to avoid showing the monsters, and the eerie scenes and jarring moments that they produce toward that end are far more riveting than the big finale that puts the creatures on clear display.  Now, to be fair, the effects in The Boogens aren't terrible.  This isn't Wes Craven's Swamp Thing, after all.  The blood and the various wounds that present themselves are handled well and the monsters benefit from a wild design even if their overall execution is a bit lackluster.  So, the special effects aren't all that special--it's okay, there are a few worthwhile horror films that suffer from that disease and The Boogens still has a lot going for it.  I think James L. Conway did a fantastic job with the direction and the score by Bob Summers is a real winner.  The opening titles sequence is a bit of a minor masterpiece so far as opening titles sequences for obscure horror films go, and I like the cast.  The pace is nice, the atmosphere is tight, and no one would accuse this one of being boring.  The Boogens is a fun picture from my youth that boasts a few good scares.  Honestly, I treasure this movie, and it has to be noted that encountering tales such as this at such an early age surely played a major role in my lifelong fascination with things that go bump in the dark.  If you're looking for a classic monster flick, opt for John Carpenter's The Thing, which sits atop that mountain.  However, if you're in the mood for something fun and kooky, something that will make you jump once or twice and chuckle a lot, heed my advice and hang out with The Boogens.

Final Grade: B

True Story: I'm not sure how old I was when I first watched The Boogens,
but I certainly wasn't old enough for this type of material.   This particular
scene gave me a profound fear of being yanked beneath a vehicle
and devoured by a rubber monster.