Short Attention Span Review: Black Death (2010)

Short Attention Span Review: Black Death (2010)

A friend recommended Black Death to me upon its release, describing it as a dark action film with some horror elements.  I didn't jump on it immediately (obviously), but when it crossed my radar this weekend, I decided to check it out.  After all, Sean Bean is a personal fave, and I dig dark action films with some horror elements.  What did I think?  Well, it's like this: Black Death is not a bad movie at all, but I don't know that I can recommend it.  And, if I did so, I would bill it as a dark drama with a couple of brief action scenes and just a smidge of horror to help this very bitter medicine go down.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, but that's not how my pal pitched the movie, and it doesn't seem to mesh with the film's marketing or packaging either.  To be fair, anyone looking for a decidedly grim and deliberate exploration of faith in times of crisis and resolve in the face of certain death may just hail this morbid saga as a masterpiece.  The script is knowledgable, the direction is solid, and the cast is thoroughly committed to delving deep into misery and despair on a grand scale.  I can't really take anything away from the craftsmanship and the artistry on display in Black Death.  It is a striking tale, and it is well told.  However, anyone hoping for excitement or anything that even remotely resembles a good time at the movies should steer clear.  This is a bleak odyssey that combines filmmaking prowess with a potent desire to drown hope in a festering sea of sickness and death.
  
Final Grade: B

It's a depressing picture about the plague, and we've got Sean Bean in the lead role.  What do you think his chances of survival are?

Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Disclaimer: Witches give me the willies.  Keep that in mind as you read this review, for The Witch is most certainly the type of film that will captivate many while others will not be entranced in the slightest.  The period setting is perfectly captured and will enrich the experience for some, while others will find such detail to be tedious and the authentic puritan dialogue will be equally hit and miss.  The ominous score and the mounting dread should be impossible to ignore for any reasonable viewer, though the shape of the tale and the eventual outcome will leave many totally unsatisfied.  As for me, I'm not ashamed to admit that The Witch scared the shit out of me, and I found the conclusion to be nothing short of horrific.  The primal depiction of witchcraft and the subtlety with which evil poisons the proceedings slowly ensnared me, and by the time the credits rolled I couldn't help but feel that I had become trapped in a nightmare of the highest order.  In many ways, The Witch is a tough watch, and there is little reward for the audience in the absence of comic relief, thrills, or hope.  Writer and director Robert Eggers is clearly a force to be reckoned with, and Anya Taylor-Joy stands out in a tight ensemble piece where everyone delivers the goods.  Chilling, provocative yet reserved, and utterly unique, The Witch pulls off a rare feat in that it is both incredibly understated and incredibly frightening. 

Final Grade: A+

An intense and captivating picture that surely falls within the "love it or leave it" spectrum, The Witch scared the piss out of me.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #13) Evil Dead 2 (1985)

One of the things that I'm doing this month as I celebrate Halloween here in the Land of Way is taking the time to rank my Top 20 Horror Movies and my Top 20 Horror Novels.

Note:
I want to be clear that I'm basing these choices on my own humble opinion.  I'm not trying to rank these movies in accordance with their place in pop culture, but I'm offering up my take on the best horror films that I have ever watched and enjoyed.  There are some familiar candidates that I consider to be great pictures that didn't make the cut because there wasn't room, and there are some films that are widely regarded as great pictures that didn't make the cut because I feel that they are overrated.  There are also a few instances where it was difficult to determine whether or not a movie belonged to the horror genre (I said "no" to Aliens but "yes" to Jaws), and it may also be worth noting that this is largely a modern list (as long as you're okay with my classification of modern as anything after 1960) that only features one lonely creature from the so-called "Classic Monsters" films produced by Universal Studios.

Thus far, the list includes:

#20) The Fly (1986) 
#19) The Howling (1981)
#18) Night of the Living Dead (1968)
#17) Alien (1979) 
#16) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
#15) Suspiria (1977) 
#14) Phantasm (1979)

I'm going to put our late 70s theme on hold so we can turn our attention to the only true sequel to make my list, Sam Raimi's maniacal return to the the cabin in the worlds where Ash and his friends unwittingly unleashed deadites on the world.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #13) Evil Dead 2 (1985)

When Sam Raimi made a name for himself in the horror genre, he did so with The Evil Dead, a grim affair that was dark, dreadful, and brimming with bodily dismemberment.  It was a bit of a shock when he followed that picture up with this sequel, a delirious effort that mixes demonic possession and severed limbs with heavy doses of slapstick humor that would have garnered applause from The Three Stooges.  Yet Raimi's high-energy direction and Bruce Campbell's immaculate chin made this mash-up an astounding success.  Three decades later, fans are eagerly awaiting the latest from this franchise, the Showtime series Ash Vs. Evil Dead, which is set to debut on October 31, 2015.  If that show is half as good as Evil Dead 2 (and based on what I've seen, I'm pretty damn optimistic), we're in for a real treat this Halloween.  Fast-paced, funny, and utterly ridiculous, this is surely one of the most purely entertaining movies to be featured on my list.  Everything about this cult classic is aimed at being so over-the-top that it makes William Shatner's work seem like method acting.  The effects, the performances, the score, and Raimi's wild camera work are all designed to wring every drop of fun out of a kooky script that allows for an abundance of gore and some of the silliest bits you'll ever see in a horror flick.  In short, Evil Dead 2 is a zany descent into horror and comedy that works to sheer perfection.  While I'm not at all surprised that it made the cut, I am a little surprised that I didn't wind up ranking it much higher on my list.

The first Evil Dead is grim and disgusting, but the sequel is gleefully absurd--and 100% awesome!

Top 20 Horror Movies - #14) Phantasm (1979)

One of the things that I'm doing this month as I celebrate Halloween here in the Land of Way is taking the time to rank my Top 20 Horror Movies and my Top 20 Horror Novels.

Note:
I want to be clear that I'm basing these choices on my own humble opinion.  I'm not trying to rank these movies in accordance with their place in pop culture, but I'm offering up my take on the best horror films that I have ever watched and enjoyed.  There are some familiar candidates that I consider to be great pictures that didn't make the cut because there wasn't room, and there are some films that are widely regarded as great pictures that didn't make the cut because I feel that they are overrated.  There are also a few instances where it was difficult to determine whether or not a movie belonged to the horror genre (I said "no" to Aliens but "yes" to Jaws), and it may also be worth noting that this is largely a modern list (as long as you're okay with my classification of modern as anything after 1960) that only features one lonely creature from the so-called "Classic Monsters" films produced by Universal Studios.

Thus far, the list includes:

#20) The Fly (1986) 
#19) The Howling (1981)
#18) Night of the Living Dead (1968)
#17) Alien (1979) 
#16) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
#15) Suspiria (1977) 

Yes, Suspiria was a strange one, but this next one may be even stranger.  We're sticking with the late 70s theme we've got going, and the time has come to throw down with sinister dwarfs and a ghastly mortician armed with deadly spheres that suck people's brains out.  That's right, peeps, it's time we got our Phantasm on.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #14) Phantasm (1979)

Phantasm isn't just one of the strangest horror films out there, it's also one of the coolest.  How often do you get to see a movie where a gutsy ice cream man who plays a mean guitar goes toe to toe with a terrifying mortician from another dimension?  Delightful, right?  Our main characters are an exuberant teenage boy whose brother may or may not be dead, said brother/ghost/I'm-not-sure-what, and Reggie the ice cream vendor, one of the horror genre's most beloved heroes.  While Reggie Bannister absolutely kills it as Reggie (all of the leads in this flick have the same first name as their character), Angus Scrimm dominates the proceedings as the villainous mortician, known simply as "The Tall Man."  Scrimm's work here is so unique and so totally on point that he grounds this delirious flick and keeps audiences riveted throughout all the strange twists and turns that Phantasm takes on the way to a wonderfully bizarre conclusion.  The effects are solid, the score is epic, I treasure the performances, and the script and the direction c/o Don Coscarelli are extremely exciting and expertly realized.   This movie has everything going for it, and it delivers the goods--Phantasm is an awesome blend of scares, chuckles, and crazy shit.  That gonzo finale gives way to one last big scare, cementing Phantasm's status as an iconic horror film that has inspired several sequels aimed to please a rabid fanbase that is still clamoring for more.  I have been a big fan of this film (and Coscarelli's output in general) for most of my life, and I can't imagine putting together a list like this without including Phantasm.

Wildly inventive and incredibly entertaining, Phantasm is a groovy cult classic like no other.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #15) Suspiria (1977)

One of the things that I'm doing this month as I celebrate Halloween here in the Land of Way is taking the time to rank my Top 20 Horror Movies and my Top 20 Horror Novels.

Note:
I want to be clear that I'm basing these choices on my own humble opinion.  I'm not trying to rank these movies in accordance with their place in pop culture, but I'm offering up my take on the best horror films that I have ever watched and enjoyed.  There are some familiar candidates that I consider to be great pictures that didn't make the cut because there wasn't room, and there are some films that are widely regarded as great pictures that didn't make the cut because I feel that they are overrated.  There are also a few instances where it was difficult to determine whether or not a movie belonged to the horror genre (I said "no" to Aliens but "yes" to Jaws), and it may also be worth noting that this is largely a modern list (as long as you're okay with my classification of modern as anything after 1960) that only features one lonely creature from the so-called "Classic Monsters" films produced by Universal Studios.

Thus far, the list includes:

#20) The Fly (1986) 
#19) The Howling (1981)
#18) Night of the Living Dead (1968)
#17) Alien (1979) 
#16) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) 

So far, we've been hanging with monsters, werewolves, zombies, and aliens.  Today, we keep the late 70s motif that started at #17 alive and invite some witches to the party.

Top 20 Horror Movies - #15) Suspiria (1977)

Suspiria, a gruesome nightmare that many consider the finest example of Italian horror, is one of two such pictures to make my list.  The other is also directed by Dario Argento, a gifted filmmaker who spent much of the 70s and 80s churning out stunning motion pictures before descending into mediocrity in the 90s and beyond.  This inventive yarn is a dark fairy tale of sorts, with a roving camera and a bold color palette which give the picture a surreal tone that is positively enchanting.  The score by Goblin is one of the most striking scores that the horror genre has ever been blessed with, and the bloody effects work is top-notch.  The script is simple but effective; Jessica Harper's Suzy Bannion travels to a prestigious dance school where something is seriously amiss.  After a number of grisly murders occur and our heroine starts to investigate some spooky shenanigans taking place, Suzy discovers that the academy is merely a front for a coven of witches.  Argento was at his peak here, and the ominous atmosphere and the outright terror that he is able to conjure up throughout this fascinating picture is damn impressive.  Some of the kills in this movie are incredibly disturbing, and there are a handful of less violent sequences in the mix that are ridiculously creepy.  The cast performs well, with Harper giving her best performance and genre vet Udo Kier popping up in a brief but welcome part.  Despite his recent misfires, of which there are many, I still consider Dario Argento a legend in the realm of horror cinema for his incredible body of work--and Suspiria undoubtedly ranks among his very best.  In fact, while I favor another picture (those who follow my blog closely are already aware of this, but the rest of you will have to wait and see), most probably consider this to be his greatest achievement.

I'm not sure which of Suspiria's potent assets is more impressive, Dario's deft camera work or the surreal color palette.

Salem/Under the Dome

I love Salem.  If you're a fan of horror and you aren't watching it, you're missing out.  It's kinky, it's dark, it's gruesome, it boasts a fantastic cast, and the soundtrack is equally impressive.  I really don't want to say much about the plot.  It's about witches, of course, but it's really fresh and exciting.  I think this is definitely one of those cases where the less you know going in, the more you're going to enjoy yourself.  The show's creators may have felt the same way; the previews were intriguing but didn't really give a lot away, and I've been surprised and delighted by the program from the very beginning. 

Bonus points: In addition to stealing the show as Cotton Mather, Seth Gabel has a killer beard.  I've never seen this dude in anything before, and while the show is brimming with quality performances, he's been a bit of a revelation.  He's good, really, really good.

Under the Dome is a different story.  I really enjoyed the way the first season started.  This is when the series was being a bit more faithful to the book, but King intrigued me with all his talk about taking the show in a different direction and presenting a different conclusion.  Early in the second season, I think it's become obvious that this approach was a dreadful mistake.  Hey, if you like it, you're free to watch it, but I think a very promising series has devolved into garbage.  I don't think I'm going to keep watching it; Season 2 has been downright painful.  Whereas the book (a top-notch affair with a somewhat lackluster ending) focused on the people and the human conflict playing out under the dome to great effect, the show has become more of a mediocre CGI and bizarre plot twist showcase.

It's depressing, particularly when you look at the cast and think about what could have been.  The talent is still working hard to make it work, but plot holes, massive gaps in logic, and poor effects have ruined a program I was really enjoying early on. 

Anyway, if you're not watching Salem, join the party--it's a wicked good time.  And if you're still sailing with Under the Dome, well, may God have mercy on your soul.