Short Attention Span Review: No One Lives (2012)

No One Lives is far from perfect.  There are plot holes, some of the acting is rather questionable, the editing is uneven in places, and there's a bit of confusion here and there as to the overall tone of the picture.  Is it a cheesy thrill ride with no soul or a legitimate horror film exploring some dark themes?  There are times when gifted director Ryûhei Kitamura (Versus, Godzilla: Final Wars, The Midnight Meat Train) doesn't seem to know for sure, but viewers will quickly realize that this one is a campy frightfest that shouldn't be taken too seriously.  As such, it mostly succeeds in spite of its flaws.  How does it manage to do that?  Well, the movie's biggest strength is surely Luke Evans as the dude who should not have been fucked with, a cool and calculated killer who gets all of the flick's best lines.  I'm really starting to like this cat and even if No One Lives is a B-rate horror movie, this could be the best part that he has been given.  Of course, he has also played Zeus and Dracula (Dracula Untold), so it's not like Hollywood is giving him the shaft. Anyway, in this movie a gang of redneck crooks make the mistake of messing with the smooth and inventive villain played by Evans, thereby turning a demented murderer into the hero of a wild and exciting feature.  Sick and mean-spirited, No One Lives isn't for everyone, but gorehounds and those with a dark sense of humor won't be disappointed.  Evans dispatches his foes with style and this bizarro slasher movie cranks out some wildly creative kills.  The picture is dripping with blood and the effects are surprisingly solid.  No One Lives rockets along, seldom pausing for anything other than a ghoulish joke, a jolt of action, or a wicked death scene.  It isn't a great movie, but the right type of person will have a great time with this gruesome oddity.

Final Grade: C+

Luke Evans gets bloody in No One Lives.

Short Attention Span Review: Razorback (1984)

Short Attention Span Review: Razorback (1984)

 This outlandish Aussie horror flick from the 80s is a twisted man vs. nature flick with an ample dose of man vs. man thrown in for good measure.  The titular terror, an enormous wild boar with a taste for blood, is seldom glimpsed despite being the most fearsome villain in the piece.  However, a pair of despicable lowlifes, the Baker brothers (played by Chris Haywood and David Argue), are almost just as vicious and enjoy a wealth of screen time.  The script is a bit hokey and the film is surely padded a bit here and there, but gifted director Russell Mulcahy hit the scene in style with this underrated shocker.  His daring approach elevates a cheap horror film into something more, a surreal adventure that escapists will probably enjoy more than gorehounds.  The score is just as compelling as the cinematography and there are several memorable sequences.  Many of the most potent moments of the film are centered on Bill Kerr in a supporting role and not Gregory Harrison, whose Carl Winters is a rather mundane lead.  The effects are a bit subpar, though Mulcahy's wise decision to allow viewers to see the massive boar for no more than a second or so at a time enhances the experience.  The picture may have fared better if the plot had focused more on Kerr as Jake Cullen, a  vengeful hunter whose grandson was killed by the giant razorback in a sensational opening.  Yet Razorback still emerges as a fearsome and vivid spectacle despite a few shortcomings and a wooden leading man.

Final Grade: C+  

Note: giant razorbacks are neither cute nor cuddly, but they can be sneaky.