Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

Short Attention Span Review: Highlander (1986)

A mild success upon its initial release, Russell Mulcahy's Highlander emerged as a cult classic and inspired a handful of inferior sequels and a goofy television series--and a couple of animated ventures too.  Christopher Lambert was a unique choice for the lead role, and while he would go on to play several action heroes in other movies after this franchise grew wings, none of those flicks would prove nearly as memorable.  In fact, aside from The Hunted, I'm not sure that any of them are any good, though a handful (Fortress, Knight Moves, and Gunmen) are at least watchable.  He does a fine job here, though he is overshadowed by the gifted Clancy Brown in what is likely his finest role.  Brown is simply impeccable as the Kurgan, a cold-blooded madman who is every bit as entertaining and quotable as he is imposing and loathsome.  Lambert is also upstaged at every turn by Sean Connery as his bold mentor, the spirited Ramirez.  I don't intend to downplay Lambert's contributions; as I stated before, this picture spawned quite the franchise, and several other actors would try (and fail) to fill his shoes in the lead role.  The direction by Russell Mulcahy, who had recently turned heads with his cheap but vivid shocker Razorback, gives the picture some serious punch.  The opening tracking shot in an arena and the dolly work on display during the grand finale are both truly spectacular, and Mulcahy invests a lot of energy into every frame.  Another big assist to Highlander comes courtesy of legendary rock act Queen, who put together one hell of an album in support of the film.  Finally, Gregory Widen's screenplay is inventive and brimming with drama, making Highlander stand out by virtue of the way it blends action, science fiction, fantasy, and romance together.  I fell in love with this picture the first time I saw it, and it's one of those rare gems that I seem to appreciate a little more every time I sit down to watch it.

Final Grade: A+

Lambert is solid in the lead role, but Clancy Brown steals the show as the fiendish villain--and Sean Connery also frequently upstages Lambert's MacLeod as his flamboyant mentor, Ramirez.

Short Attention Span Review: The Hunted (1995)

Short Attention Span Review: The Hunted (1995)

I know what you're thinking: while he made some cheesy but entertaining movies, Highlander is the only Christopher Lambert vessel that is truly worth watching.  Well, thanks to this woefully underrated exception to that rule, I must inform you that you are wrong.  In truth, while Lambert is solid here and is definitely the star of the piece, it's like Highlander all over again in that he is upstaged at every turn.  Joan Chen brings incredible depth to a small but integral part as Lambert's doomed love interest, while John Lone is every bit as potent here as he was in Michael Cimino's Year of the Dragon as the film's villain, Kinjo.  Most importantly, Yoshio Harada commands the screen as the turbulent Takeda.  This mighty samurai is ultimately a good man and one hell of a warrior, but his fanatical devotion to tradition and his need for combat yield a well-rounded and ultimately puzzling hero who isn't all that likable at times.  The score composed by Kodo is a personal favorite and the direction from J. F. Lawton (working from his own script) is crisp and immersive.  The story revolves around an American who stumbles into a war between rival ninja and samurai clans, and the action setpieces are incredible to behold.  Of particular note is an extremely bloody battle that unfolds on a bullet train and establishes Takeda as an ultimate badass.  This is probably a guilty pleasure kind of show, but I honestly can't identify any major flaws--as action films go, I think it's a shame that more people don't appreciate The Hunted.  Surely anyone who digs the idea of seeing ninjas and samurai throw down should give this one a watch, and anyone who yearns to see Lambert shine in a role that doesn't require him to say "There can be only one" will also have a blast with this unheralded gem from 1995.

Final Grade: B

Christopher Lambert is on point as the American caught in the middle of a timeless showdown, and John Lone is even better as the villainous Kinjo, but Yoshio Harada runs away with this one as the mighty Takeda.

Short Attention Span Review: Razorback (1984)

Short Attention Span Review: Razorback (1984)

 This outlandish Aussie horror flick from the 80s is a twisted man vs. nature flick with an ample dose of man vs. man thrown in for good measure.  The titular terror, an enormous wild boar with a taste for blood, is seldom glimpsed despite being the most fearsome villain in the piece.  However, a pair of despicable lowlifes, the Baker brothers (played by Chris Haywood and David Argue), are almost just as vicious and enjoy a wealth of screen time.  The script is a bit hokey and the film is surely padded a bit here and there, but gifted director Russell Mulcahy hit the scene in style with this underrated shocker.  His daring approach elevates a cheap horror film into something more, a surreal adventure that escapists will probably enjoy more than gorehounds.  The score is just as compelling as the cinematography and there are several memorable sequences.  Many of the most potent moments of the film are centered on Bill Kerr in a supporting role and not Gregory Harrison, whose Carl Winters is a rather mundane lead.  The effects are a bit subpar, though Mulcahy's wise decision to allow viewers to see the massive boar for no more than a second or so at a time enhances the experience.  The picture may have fared better if the plot had focused more on Kerr as Jake Cullen, a  vengeful hunter whose grandson was killed by the giant razorback in a sensational opening.  Yet Razorback still emerges as a fearsome and vivid spectacle despite a few shortcomings and a wooden leading man.

Final Grade: C+  

Note: giant razorbacks are neither cute nor cuddly, but they can be sneaky.

Short Attention Span Review: Bait (2012)

Bait is just your average "great white sharks terrorize shoppers at the grocery store" movie, and while that particular sub-genre is overpopulated, this one manages to stand out.  Okay, so just to be clear, I am kidding about there being more than one of these absurdities, but I'm not kidding about Bait being a movie about people being terrorized by great white sharks at the grocery store.  Despite this ludicrous premise and an opening that is 100% terrible, the movie somehow works.  First off, the opening is awful.  I'm still not quite sure why I didn't turn Bait off after that bullshit, but I'm glad I didn't.  The picture that follows is gleefully idiotic, but it is also ferociously entertaining.  And after that opening convinced me that the special effects would be inferior to the great white carnage I used to enjoy while playing Jaws on my NES as a child, the rest of the movie benefits from superior effects work.  {Clarification: the term "superior effects work" as used in the previous statement applies to the effects seen in the opening reel of Bait as opposed to special effects in general.}  So, how did the sharks wind up in the grocery store?  See, the store was flooded during a tsunami, and as is so often the case when tsunamis occur, a pair of large great whites wind up trapped in the flooded supermarket.  Now, in addition to the presence of a pair of bloodthirsty sharks, there are number of interesting characters involved in various situations that could yield entire movies of their own stuck in the flooded store.  Among them are a brokenhearted dude and his former flame (I shit you not, their romance fell apart after he failed to save her brother from a shark attack in that totally inept opening scene), a sympathetic robber and his sadistic accomplice, a cop summoned to arrest a shoplifter who just so happens to be his daughter, and so on and so forth.  Truthfully, Bait should sink like a stone under the weight of the absurd premise and all the ridiculous contrivances that spring up throughout its 93 minute running time.  Yet it somehow gets the job done.  It's fun to watch and you will actually wind up liking some of these ridiculous characters and pulling for them as they struggle to survive in these ridiculous circumstances.  Julian McMahon (a guy who should have become a legitimate star and instead pulled hard time on Charmed and received third billing in Bait) does a great job as the sympathetic robber and deserves a lot of the credit for grounding this ludicrous yarn.  Kimble Rendall deserves some praise for holding this thing together as a director, and given how it turned out, I'm almost willing to pardon him for that opening.  Russell Mulcahy, the guy who gave us Highlander and Razorback (What? I like Razorback) helped out with the script.  I'm feeling generous, so I'll even point out that the effects team that totally shit the bed in the first ten minutes of the movie held it down when it mattered most.  In the end, I'm not sure how it happened, but in this silly movie with a woeful beginning wound up being an entertaining ride that I'm going to recommend.  I might even give it a "B." 

Final Grade: B-

It's hard to determine if it's the realism or the subtlety that make Bait so entertaining.