Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Crybabies

Surprise, surprise--the Cowboys faithful are crying.  First off, let's be clear--that ball is moving a lot and Dez clearly lost control of it when he went to the ground.  It isn't a catch.  If you don't like the rule, you can bitch about the rule all you like.  However, the NFL has been rocking with that rule for a while now.  Based on the rule, the refs made the right call--for once, so far as your beloved Cowboys are concerned.  When I saw the play live, I said the ball was moving and it wasn't a catch before the Packers challenged the play.  After seeing the replays, I had no doubt that they were going to reverse the ruling on the field.  The rule is what it is.  That wasn't a catch.  Let's move on.

Secondly, last week the officials actually did butcher a call--a couple of them, in fact, and they've admitted as much.  Yet all we heard from these Cowboys fans was that one bad call doesn't change the outcome of a game.  I guess a couple doesn't either.  Regardless, if that was your case a week ago, why all the moaning and groaning now?  I argued last week that one lousy call can totally change the outcome of a game, so that was your argument, not mine.  However, if you were on that bus when your team benefited from the call, I'm not letting you get off when the pendulum swings the other way. 

Green Bay Must Shut Skip Bayless Up

I hate the Cowboys.  I'm a lifelong Seahawks fan who lives in North Carolina, so to be completely honest I don't have a lot of love for any of those mass-market teams.  However, the Dallas Cowboys and all their "America's team" nonsense are particularly bothersome to me.  I'm pretty sure that I hate them.  The refs served last week's playoff contest between Dallas and Detroit up to the Cowboys on a silver platter, and that doesn't make me like them any more.

Plus, now I have to listen to a fresh batch of garbage about the "great" Tony Romo from the Dallas faithful, most of whom hated this guy prior to this season.  Seriously, people are talking about this dude like he's some living legend because he finally put together a good season, and he's still 2-6 in win-or-go-home games--after the officials gave him a freebie at Detroit's expense last weekend!  He's the best QB around, that's what some of the talking heads and a lot of the dimwitted fans are saying, and I'm sitting here wondering what it is that they're smoking.  Why is he so great all of a sudden?  Because he has a really good QBR?  What trophy are they giving out for that?  Dude is mediocre at best.  Okay, he has nifty stats.  Nifty stats are a dime a dozen for mediocre quarterbacks in this passing era.  Get real.  Winners win--and that includes the month of December and beyond.  Romo is looking to cover some new ground this weekend, and the ground he has covered isn't exactly legendary.  Save the coronation for someone who gets to hoist a trophy in a few weeks.   

I hate the Cowboys and I'm pulling for Green Bay this weekend.  I would be pulling for Green Bay anyway against Dallas, but now I have extra reason to root for the home team.  Yes, I'm a fan of ESPN's First Take.  Yes, like any of you who are also fans of the program and aren't bathing daily in Tony Romo Kool-Aid, Skip Bayless is driving me positively insane.  He must be stopped.  If I hear another inflated speech about the glory that is Tony "I have never even sniffed a Super Bowl victory" Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, my head may just explode.  If I have to listen to another ridiculous monologue about a so-called team of destiny that hasn't enjoyed a meaningful post-season run since cellphones were roughly the same size as bricks, I may toss my television out the window.  I need a Green Bay win for my sanity.  I need a Green Bay win for Stephen A. Smith, who has to endure this senseless blather at close range.  I need the Packers to win on the behalf of America, a country that has many sports teams and certainly isn't involved in an exclusive relationship with an incredibly popular and frequently-discussed franchise that hasn't really accomplished anything of significance since they put more than two bars on NFL helmets.

The Alien Anthology

The SuperFox (my wife) hooked me up with the Alien Anthology set during the holiday season, so I recently had a chance to watch all four of the original Alien films.  I greatly enjoy the franchise, but mostly because of the strength of the first two entries.  I always felt that Alien was a really good horror film, and I think of Aliens as a genuine masterpiece.  Upon my first (and only) viewings of the third and fourth film prior to this endeavor, I found the third to be good but overly somber and the fourth to be total garbage.  Would I view things differently upon a second viewing?

First off, I still rank the first two pictures the same way.  Alien is a solid horror film, but it's probably not in my top ten.  I love the talent involved, the atmosphere, and especially the cinematography, and it is surely a fantastic movie--but it isn't a great one, at least not in my humble opinion.  Aliens is positively incredible.  It's easily the best sci-fi/action picture of all time, and if you want to look at it solely as an action film, it might rule that list as well.  It's tense, it's exciting, it's a lot of fun, and I just don't know that movies get much better than Aliens.  I love it.

Now, Alien 3 is a different story.  Talk about a buzzkill.  The overly bleak nature of the piece is so much more evident if the picture is viewed right on the heels of Aliens.  It can't help but suffer by comparison.  Honestly, this time out, I found that I enjoyed Alien 3 far less than Alien Resurrection--and it's a much better movie.  It's just such a downer.  I'm trying to do this whole thing spoiler-free, but suffice it to say that elements of the plot that are disclosed in the opening reel drag the whole thing down, and it never gets any happier.  The direction is fine, the action setpieces (few though they may be) are riveting, and there are a couple of likable characters in play, but the whole thing is a major downer.  If Aliens is as much fun as you can have watching a movie, Alien 3 is aiming squarely at the other end of that spectrum. 

So is Alien Resurrection any good?  No, it's not.  To be completely honest, it's rather awful.  But hey, it is colorful, and a bit unpredictable, and the direction is genuinely unique.  Despite a multitude of flaws, it's a lot of fun, and it has some incredibly creative sequences that are deserving of a better picture, but the plot is lacking and the closing reel is so bad that it's damn near offensive.  Having said that, at least it isn't a total pisser like the third entry in the series. 

The Anthology set itself is beautiful, and packed with value.  It contains two versions of every feature and two discs full of bonus content.  Anyone looking for the inside scoop on the Alien franchise will find all they could hope for and more included in this gorgeous set.  All in all, I was greatly pleased, and any fan of sci-fi, horror, or action must spend some time with these movies.  Of course, if it was up to me, the series would end with Aliens, and I may try to convince myself that Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection don't exist.  I'm fairly confident that I won't ever view them again. but that's okay--I'll continue to rock with Ripley, Dallas, and the Space Marines for as long as I live.

The Walking Dead: Season 5, Episode 1 - "No Sanctuary"

I'm not going to do a full-fledged review here because it would be impossible to do so without killing you guys with spoilers, but let's just say that this premiere really tied off a lot of plot lines that were set in motion last year.  Not only that, but the payoffs were delivered in style.  We saw things looking as bad as they possibly could, then we saw a lot of ass-kicking, and finally things got nice and tender in a conclusion that probably had most everyone who follows the show reaching for their Kleenex.  And it was all good.  Sometimes the show falls flat when it's time to deliver a killer action scene, sometimes the gore has looked a bit cheesy in recent seasons, and they've frequently bungled emotional payoffs, but that was never the case with "No Sanctuary."  The tension was incredible, the action was well-choreographed and sufficiently bloody, the gore was impressive, and the heartstring-plucking we were served up this time out was probably the best hearstring-plucking we've seen on the show.
Honestly, I think I'm in love again.  I thought the first two seasons of the show really elevated the material.  I was seriously stoked when they moved toward the prison storyline, which is my favorite arc from the comics to date, and unfortunately seasons three and four left me feeling a little empty deep down inside.  With the onset of season five, AMC has once again elevated the source material, and for the first time since Rick killed his best friend (who was probably the best thing about the show in some strange, twisted way), I am once again fully invested in the television show.  So, yeah, "No Sanctuary" was everything we were hoping for.  If you're a fan and you haven't seen it yet, avoid shit like this.  I'm probably the only person who is going to say much about that premiere without spoiling the whole thing.  I've probably said too much, but it was so awesome that I know many reviewers are going to lay all the cards on the table, face-up, and I assure you that you would rather see it for yourself.

It was grand, it was epic--it was one hell of a premiere.  The Walking Dead is back in a big way, and I'm hoping they can keep things rolling. 

Raw Meat (1973)

 I had been meaning to watch this one for a while.  I bought it last year with every intention of watching it somewhere around Halloween, but I fell behind on my horror movie viewing during the wicked season and Raw Meat dipped beneath my radar.  Anyway, I was in the mood for something gruesome this weekend, so I finally sat down to scope this 70s oddity out.  Was it any good?   It was.  It was also pretty damn disgusting, but it was definitely a quality film.

Equal parts repulsive, suspenseful, and comical, Raw Meat concerns a couple (David Ladd and Sharon Gurney) who find themselves drawn into a sinister web of murder and terror after a strange encounter in a subway station.  They turn to Donald Pleasence as Inspector Calhoun for help, and he takes the case very seriously--while mocking everyone in sight, be they friend or foe.  Pleasence was the best thing about the picture, eagerly gobbling up the scenery and taking his role to such extremes that his efforts here make his work as Loomis in the Halloween series seem positively tame.  In particular, I found the scene where he and his second-in-command get positively smashed at a local bar to be an absolute riot.  This was a welcome distraction, as neither  of our leads--Ladd or Gurney--is ever half as interesting as the zany 70s clothes that they sport throughout the movie.

The direction comes courtesy of Gary Sherman, who is also responsible for the unforgettable cult classic Vice Squad.  His work here, on this earlier venture, is more leisurely and also a bit more precise.  One gratuitous tracking shot that lovingly explores all the corpses in various stages of decay that litter our bad guy's lair is perfectly smooth, incredibly vivid, and seems to go on forever.  This utterly gross and entirely masterful display of prowess proves that a classical approach can yield results that are just as disgusting as unhinged gore maestro Lucio Fulci's most depraved work.  Sherman's pacing here is also spot-on, and there's definitely one major scare in the picture that should have anyone with a pulse jumping out of their seat.  The director also gets some serious credit for crafting a picture that feels very, very British despite the fact that he's an American.  Speaking of which, I recommend turning on the subtitles.  The accents are so thick, and some of Pleasence's best bits are delivered with such ferocity, that much of the dialogue will be all but indecipherable otherwise. 

The score by Wil Malone and Jeremy Rose was perfect for this grim vessel, a subdued ode to doom with a sinister electronic vibe that somehow meshed perfectly with the dank and decrepit undergound setting.  The subways and the various tunnels and stations that appear throughout Raw Meat were used to great effect, giving the picture a potent atmosphere.  The make-up was thoroughly convincing and will surely turn your stomach at several key points.  All the necessary components were in place and everyone hit their marks; the only qualms I could offer up would pertain to the gore and the downer vibe, but that should be par for the course for a horror film about cannibalism beneath the streets of London.  Raw Meat was revolting, it was creepy, and it wisely put Donald Pleasence on center stage with a meaty part to devour.  Despite the disgusting nature of the movie and the downtrodden atmosphere, Pleasence made me laugh repeatedly, and I have to say that I enjoyed Raw Meat.

A very British horror flick directed by an American,
Raw Meat is known as Death Line overseas.

Philm - Fire from the Evening Sun

As many of you know, Dave Lombardo is no longer drumming for the metal juggernaut that is Slayer.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that he’s retired.  He’s currently gearing up for the first Fantomas show since 2009 alongside Mike Patton, Buzz Osborne, and Trevor Dunn, and yesterday Philm released their second album, Fire from the Evening Sun. 

I greatly enjoyed the first album (Harmonic) from this trio consisting of Gary Nestler (Civil Defiance) on vocals and guitar, Pancho Tomaselli (War) on bass, and the godfather of double-bass himself on drums.  However, this second effort represents a tremendous upgrade.  The charged vibe that permeated so many of the heavier efforts on their debut recording is still present, but the space and exploration that defined the stranger outings has been minimalized.  The end result is a leaner and more aggressive recording, yet enough of the avant-garde approach remains to separate it from the pack.

It’s a bit difficult to classify this group.  The strangest among us will surely find their efforts a bit restrained, while their sound will be far too innovative for the status quo.  Yet those who can respect something that is equal parts heavy and different will be entranced by Philm’s quixotic sound.  There are an abundance of dizzying sequences when the band seems to be letting off steam, layering Nestler’s furious vocals amid intricate riffs, a pounding bass line, and thunderous drumming courtesy of Lombardo.  There are also charged sequences that simmer without boiling over, and all of these powerful bits are interwoven with gentle and melodic moments that display the band’s finesse and depth.  It’s hard to find another band to compare these guys to—Filter comes to mind, but they were never this heavy or creative and they got softer and more mundane as time wore on.  That’s okay, because being unique is cool.  Being unique and heavy is even cooler.  Bonus points: being unique and heavy with Dave Lombard on drums is fucking awesome. 

           

 If you dig this kind of stuff and you’re unfamiliar with Philm, you need to check them out, and I highly recommend both of their albums.  Having said that, I feel the need to repeat myself: Harmonic was really cool, but Fire from the Evening Sun positively burns. 

Approaching the Finish Line

Sorry I've been neglecting the blog, good people.  I try, but I'm currently in the home stretch with a new book and it's been hard for me to step away.  I'll keep you posted on the new book and I'll be sure to generate more content for the Land of Way as I'm able to.

Thanks!