Short Attention Span Review: The Predator (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: The Predator (2018)

I am probably the last guy on the planet you could sell a comedic reboot of this material to.  I treasure the first entry from 1987, and I think the sequel was a lesser film but a worthy follow-up nonetheless.  The later crossovers with those other extraterrestial fiends we all know and love so well were average at best, but I found them to be guilty pleasures.  Well, I liked the first one anyway.  All things considered, this is a franchise that I have strong feelings for, particularly when it comes to that original classic, a testament to manliness and gruesome thrills.  So, yeah, the very idea of a comedic reboot makes me cringe.  And yet . . . I guess it's a good thing I'm a big fan of Fred Dekker's filmography, with both Night of the Creeps and The Monster Squad registering as personal favorites.  Make no mistake, this quirky chiller/thriller has his fingerprints all over it.  He may be playing in Shane Black's sandbox (and Black's raunchy humor is on display throughout), but The Predator feels more like Dekker's take on the first two features.  As such, it is a lot of fun.  In addition to being chock full of laughs, it also has some heart, it's gory as all get out, and it has several rollicking action set pieces.  Now, many will not share my affection for Dekker's wit, and thus the shift in tone will drive them up the wall.  It is surely a departure, and not a minor one.  Yet it offers numerous callbacks to the first two outings and assembles a badass* team of its own.  In terms of casting, Black nailed it, with Boyd Holbrook showing serious promise as a leading man while Thomas Jane gives one of his most unique performances to date as a loose cannon with Tourette's syndrome.  The rest of the gang manages to deliver big on the humor front while also holding it down when it's time to throw down.  I'm relatively certain that this one sports the biggest body count of the series by a hefty margin.  The frequent forays into bloody mayhem that litter the screen with corpses should ensure that those who find the absurdist approach bothersome are able to wring some joy out of a viewing.  We're dealing with a different breed of predator, no doubt about it, but I had a blast with this wonky creature feature that bombards viewers with jokes, bullets, and body parts.

*Certifiable, but badass.

Final Grade: B

Boyd Holbrook, leading man? This movie shows that he can do the job.

Short Attention Span Review - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

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Since I recently reviewed the first two movies in the Terminator series, I decided to take another look at Terminator 3 this weekend.  While it's vastly inferior to its predecessors, it's also vastly superior to Terminator: Salvation, and I do enjoy it.  Some people probably hate all the humor, but that's one of my favorite things about this one.  That and the ridiculous car chase.  I'm not so keen on Nick Stahl as John Connor, though Claire Danes is always a joy to watch.  I definitely think that Kristanna Loken killed it as the T-X, the anti-Terminator Terminator.  The downbeat nature of the piece doesn't mesh well with Arnold constantly winking at the camera, and some of the later action scenes are a bit underwhelming.  So Terminator 3 is a bit of a mixed bag and it never ventures anywhere near the greatness of The Terminator or T2, but Arnold does his job well and most of the action is worthwhile.  It's not must-see entertainment, but fans of this sort of material should get a kick out of it. 

Final Grade: C

He's back!

Short Attention Span Review: T2 (1991)

Schwarzenegger returned to one of his most thrilling roles in 1991, but this time out his Terminator got to be the hero of the picture.  I actually think the first Terminator movie is more entertaining primarily due to Arnold's magnificent presence as the villain, a vicious machine programmed to kill, and the lean runtime doesn't hurt either.  Having said that, those who claim this bigger and far more dramatic sequel is superior to the original certainly have a strong case.  This isn't just one of Schwarzenegger's better movies, it's definitely one of the best action movies ever produced.  The effects are incredible, the choreography is splendid, and the performances are top-notch.  It is a bit long, but it never drags--the movie is overflowing with riveting sequences that must be seen to be believed.  Arnold's fearsome Terminator is now programmed to protect John Connor (Edward Furlong in perhaps his only role of note, though I thought Brainscan was okay) from a more advanced killer machine from the future.  This new baddie, the T-1000 (played to perfection by the underrated Robert Patrick), is a shapeshifting and seemingly invincible assassin made of "liquid metal."  The creativity that James Cameron brought to the table provides this frightening nemesis with an abundance of cool things to do and Stan Winston's supreme effects work was nothing short of amazing.  Upon its release, T2 was widely regarded as the finest special effects extravaganza ever lensed, and it has certainly aged well--it still towers above most science fiction movies, to include many recent releases from major studios.  The chases and throwdowns that populate the picture are executed to terrific effect and there are few directors who could depict such carnage as well as Cameron.  I prefer The Terminator but I can't take anything away from T2, it's a terrific successor that is surely worthy of all the praise and acclaim that it has generated over the years.

Final Grade: A

T2 isn't just one of Schwarzenegger's best movies,
it's one of the best action movies of all time.

Short Attention Span Review: The Terminator (1984)

As we gear up for a new entry in the the Terminator franchise, I took the time to revisit the 1984 thriller that started it all.  The Terminator is my favorite entry in the series (T2 be damned) and it is still vastly entertaining some 30+ years after it hit the scene.  I think it has more heart and soul than the first sequel, and though Robert Patrick was awesome, no one has topped Arnold's showstopping performance as the villainous machine the series is named after yet.  Yes, T2 is amazing, and even if I don't agree, I understand where the people who think it improves upon the original are coming from.  The third movie was okay, the fourth was pretty okay too, I guess, though it didn't seem to fit.  This latest attempt at reviving the property looks pretty kickass, but I'm not here to speculate, I'm here to heap praise on Cameron's breakout hit.  The Terminator is a lean picture with several stellar action setpieces and three noteworthy stars owning their parts while an able supporting cast rounds things out in style.  Hell, Lance Henriksen is on hand in a true throwaway role, so you know The Terminator had talent to spare.  Michael Biehn is a revelation as the gritty hero who is greatly outmatched, Linda Hamilton is fantastic in a tough role that requires a lot of emoting and physicality, and Arnold is a supreme badass.  Who else could have played this part?  Stan Winston's effects are stellar and surely played a pivotal role in The Terminator's success, but Arnold is the biggest special effect in the movie.  Not only is his physical appearance so damn imposing, but he does a wonderful job with his lines and his handling of the various weapons he uses throughout the film is truly impressive.  Everyone involved deserves a lot of credit, but this franchise was launched on Schwarzenegger's broad shoulders to tremendous effect.  Whether you classify it as an action movie or a science-fiction thriller (it's actually both), this is a genuine classic.

Final Grade: A+

He may not have played a villain often, but this superb action film
proves that Arnold could nail such a roll when programmed to do so.

The Expendables 3

I reviewed The Expendables 3 for RVA Magazine yesterday.  Do scope it out.  It appears the critics are being rather hard on it (imagine that) and the box office numbers aren't dazzling anyone, but I gave it a good review.  Why wouldn't I?  I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I'm a big fan of the series thus far and I hope the gang keeps on rocking.  Anyway, enjoy the review.

Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies in the Works!

So, I'm not going anywhere near any of the controversy.  Honestly, I feel like everyone is entitled to a bad moment or two and these are fun pieces about movies.  Currently, I am working on a Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies piece for the good people over at RVA Magazine to follow up my Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece they already posted this week.  We're doing these as a countdown to the release of The Expendables 3, which I'll also be reviewing for them upon release. 

With Mel, picking the #1 movie on that list is a true no-brainer, but after that, there are no easy calls.  Your suggestions are welcome, and I'll let you know when the piece is posted.

Thanks!

The Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies c/o RVA Magazine is Up!

You can check out My Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece for RVA Magazine here.  I had a lot of fun with this one as the big dude's work is near and dear to my heart.  Please scope it out and I would love it if you were to share your thoughts--everybody loves Arnold!

Tackling Schwarzenegger

I'm putting together a fresh Top 5 for my good friends over at RVA Magazine, and this time I'll be sizing up Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies.  I'm truly surprised I haven't done this one before, and it promises to be difficult.  I know what the top two are, but I'm not sure about the order, and beyond that it's just going to be brutal.  I love Arnold and I've grown up watching his movies.  I'm super-stoked to see he and Sly join forces once again in The Expendables 3, a picture I'll also be reviewing for RVA Magazine when it opens in a couple of weeks.  Few things about the current state of cinema thrill me as much as seeing the big guns from my childhood working together like they have been as of late.  There are also some other Top 5s that may figure into this equation being discussed.  Maybe Mel, maybe tough-guy ensemble pictures.  Maybe both, who knows?  Anyway, I'll share links to the articles here and keep you posted.

In other words, . . . I'll be back.

Sabotage

I watched Sabotage last night and I enjoyed it as much as one can enjoy such a dark piece.  It wasn't your typical Schwarzenegger thrill ride, that's for sure.  This one was seriously grim at times; the good guys were seldom that good, though the bad guys were surely that bad.  It was fast-paced, complex, and it was centered by a solid performance from Arnold, who seemed to be summoning Clint Eastwood.  There was definitely a western vibe to the picture and there were enough twists and turns to keep the audience guessing.  Sabotage is a difficult watch in many ways, but it was highly-entertaining, with a game cast and a dark heart to go along with an abundance of violence and profanity. 

The Last Stand

I finally sat down to watch The Last Stand a few days ago, and I had a good time with it.  I was born in '78, which is a lot like being a child of the 80s, and therefore it probably goes without saying that I'm a Schwarzenegger fan.  I'm American after all, and Conan the Barbarian was practically my godfather.  Having said that, Arnold's last few movies before his foray into politics were a bit lacking.  I did enjoy his cameo in The Expendables and his extended cameo in The Expendables 2, but I was still unsure of just what to expect from The Last Stand.  The previews led me to believe that it was going to be a bit too silly for me, but the film itself was a pleasant surprise.

Now, let's be real, it is a bit silly, and that shouldn't come as a shock given that Johnny Knoxville and Luis Guzman (a couple of personal favorites of mine) are in the supporting cast, but it's also surprisingly slick.  The action was tight, the pace was relentless, and Arnold was game.  Yes, the big guy still has it.  Sure, he's getting old, and he's certainly slowing down, but he still has a presence that's hard to match.  I think the biggest reason The Last Stand was a winner, however, was the direction c/o Kim Jee-Woon.  What should have been a lesser vessel with some big names and big explosions in the mix become an exercise in style and a frantic race toward a nifty conclusion.

There were flaws, to be sure, but The Last Stand was a lot of fun and I'm going to recommend it to anyone who enjoys Arnold or a solid action film.  It probably doesn't need to be stated here, but obviously this one is nowhere near as good as classic Schwarzenegger fare like Conan, Predator, or The Terminator, but it was head and shoulders above his most recent offerings.  Additionally, I found it to be far more entertaining than most of the action films clogging up the cinema these days.  Of course, I dig throwbacks, and I don't mind it when my action films are a bit tongue-in-cheek.