Short Attention Span Review - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

e

Since I recently reviewed the first two movies in the Terminator series, I decided to take another look at Terminator 3 this weekend.  While it's vastly inferior to its predecessors, it's also vastly superior to Terminator: Salvation, and I do enjoy it.  Some people probably hate all the humor, but that's one of my favorite things about this one.  That and the ridiculous car chase.  I'm not so keen on Nick Stahl as John Connor, though Claire Danes is always a joy to watch.  I definitely think that Kristanna Loken killed it as the T-X, the anti-Terminator Terminator.  The downbeat nature of the piece doesn't mesh well with Arnold constantly winking at the camera, and some of the later action scenes are a bit underwhelming.  So Terminator 3 is a bit of a mixed bag and it never ventures anywhere near the greatness of The Terminator or T2, but Arnold does his job well and most of the action is worthwhile.  It's not must-see entertainment, but fans of this sort of material should get a kick out of it. 

Final Grade: C

He's back!

Short Attention Span Review: Conan the Barbarian (1982)

There are only a handful of movies that I enjoy as much as Conan the Barbarian.  I'm a fan of Arnold, I'm a fan of action movies, and I'm a big fan of Robert E. Howard's mighty Cimmerian, so this shouldn't be breaking news.  Yet I think that anyone who enjoys an entertaining and energetic film should be able enjoy this smash hit from 1982 whether they have an interest in any of those things or not.  Expertly directed by John Milius, well-scripted, and bolstered by some truly fabulous sets, this is a remarkable motion picture.  Yes, there are some considerable alterations to Howard's vision, but many of these changes benefit the movie and none of them detract from it.  I have been a fan of this character for a great many years, and in my personal opinion, the differences that spring up in his adventures on the big screen, the printed page, and within the realm of comics have seldom diminished his charisma.  Conan is such a rich creation that it's difficult to modify him to such an extent that he loses his luster, though later film efforts would succeed in doing just that.  This stellar Schwarzenegger vessel is a real winner that may be the finest action yarn depicting a quest for vengeance that has ever been produced.  The cast is magnificent and the action sequences are rousing, realistic, and impressive to behold--a daunting trifecta, to say the least.  The plot is well-constructed and seldom has such an intriguing character been so free to roam.  The poster doesn't lie, for we see Conan enslaved as a child, forced to become a pitfighter when he comes of age, and he later earns his keep as a thief before emerging as the warrior he is destined to become.  Unlike many of the pictures that populate such fantastic realms, Conan the Barbarian isn't a whimsical effects show but rather a dark and gritty saga ripe with brutality and dismay.  The score courtesy of Basil Poledouris is a vibrant masterpiece that only adds to the movie's incredible power.  In fact, it may be my favorite score ever, and it's surely my favorite score by anyone other than John Carpenter.  Director John Milius is a woefully underrated figure in the motion picture industry and Conan the Barbarian is surely his greatest achievement.  I'm gushing a bit and I know it, but I just don't know how else to put it: if you truly want to know what is best in life, you must watch this movie.

Final Grade: A+ (it's better than Stygian Black Lotus)

As Conan, Arnold delivers perhaps the best prayer of all time.

Conan's Prayer

Crom, I have never prayed to you before.  I have no tongue for it. 

No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many.  That's what's important.

Valor pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request.  Grant me revenge.

And if you do not listen?  Then to hell with you! 

Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies in the Works!

So, I'm not going anywhere near any of the controversy.  Honestly, I feel like everyone is entitled to a bad moment or two and these are fun pieces about movies.  Currently, I am working on a Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies piece for the good people over at RVA Magazine to follow up my Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece they already posted this week.  We're doing these as a countdown to the release of The Expendables 3, which I'll also be reviewing for them upon release. 

With Mel, picking the #1 movie on that list is a true no-brainer, but after that, there are no easy calls.  Your suggestions are welcome, and I'll let you know when the piece is posted.

Thanks!

The Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies c/o RVA Magazine is Up!

You can check out My Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece for RVA Magazine here.  I had a lot of fun with this one as the big dude's work is near and dear to my heart.  Please scope it out and I would love it if you were to share your thoughts--everybody loves Arnold!

Tackling Schwarzenegger

I'm putting together a fresh Top 5 for my good friends over at RVA Magazine, and this time I'll be sizing up Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies.  I'm truly surprised I haven't done this one before, and it promises to be difficult.  I know what the top two are, but I'm not sure about the order, and beyond that it's just going to be brutal.  I love Arnold and I've grown up watching his movies.  I'm super-stoked to see he and Sly join forces once again in The Expendables 3, a picture I'll also be reviewing for RVA Magazine when it opens in a couple of weeks.  Few things about the current state of cinema thrill me as much as seeing the big guns from my childhood working together like they have been as of late.  There are also some other Top 5s that may figure into this equation being discussed.  Maybe Mel, maybe tough-guy ensemble pictures.  Maybe both, who knows?  Anyway, I'll share links to the articles here and keep you posted.

In other words, . . . I'll be back.

Sabotage

I watched Sabotage last night and I enjoyed it as much as one can enjoy such a dark piece.  It wasn't your typical Schwarzenegger thrill ride, that's for sure.  This one was seriously grim at times; the good guys were seldom that good, though the bad guys were surely that bad.  It was fast-paced, complex, and it was centered by a solid performance from Arnold, who seemed to be summoning Clint Eastwood.  There was definitely a western vibe to the picture and there were enough twists and turns to keep the audience guessing.  Sabotage is a difficult watch in many ways, but it was highly-entertaining, with a game cast and a dark heart to go along with an abundance of violence and profanity. 

What is best in life?

Can it be?
I'm reading reports that Arnold has officially signed up for a Conan follow-up.  Supposedly, he's on board for a film titled The Legend of Conan, a film slated for a summer 2014 release.  Some people are groaning, saying "Man, he's way too old for that," but there's some quality material to draw from.  Some of my favorite Conan tales are yarns that are set late in the barbarian's life.
Some will love this news, some will hate it.  Definitely count me among the numbers who are genuinely excited.  Though he didn't really fit the part as well as some might think, Arnold brought something special to the role.
I welcome a gritty return for the superb character Robert E. Howard was kind enough to provide us with.  Not only do I welcome such a film, but I think it can be done.  I actually like the last one, but I do believe a better story could be fashioned around Conan.  Maybe The Legend of Conan is up for the challenge.