Short Attention Span Review - Brightburn (2019)

Short Attention Span Review - Brightburn (2019)

Brightburn is a pretty good horror movie built upon a premise that feels much bigger than the fruit it has produced.  I enjoyed it, and I think most horror fans will find it to be perfectly satisfactory.  And I also reckon that many others will share the notion that it could have been much better.  Maybe that's unfair; after all, I'm not sure exactly what more I wanted from it.  Then again, this is a dark riff on the superhero genre, and I find that superhero movies without a worthy antagonist fall short of the mark.  Maybe that's what's lacking here.  Once the picture takes shape, it is quite clear that the protagonists don't stand a chance.  Making matters worse, they're not smart enough or tough enough for your garden variety fright flick threat, much less young Superman by way of John Carpenter.  Still, there are dark thrills aplenty in Brightburn, and there's a surprising amount of gore.  The kills are pretty sadistic, and once things heat up in the second act, they come fast and furious.  Elizabeth Banks is awesome, but that's old news.  David Denman impressed me with his efforts to depict both a pissed off dad who feels the need to put his foot down and a dad who recognizes that his son could incinerate him with laser vision.  Most importantly,  Jackson A. Dunn made for one creepy kid.  Just a mean little bastard.  With super powers.  Yeah, that's pretty scary, but I just can't help but feel that it could have been scarier.  Sometimes that's the danger with a really sound pitch--even if you deliver the goods, you may leave people wishing you had somehow done more.  Anyway, it's still a dope movie, and I am not playing about those gruesome kills.  

Final Grade: B-

Brightburn is dark and surprisingly gory.  It is also a good movie, but one can't help but feel that the premise should have yielded something bigger.

Powerful Pages - Pet Sematary by Stephen King (1983)

Powerful Pages - Pet Sematary by Stephen King (1983)

I started reading Stephen King novels when I was 8 years old.  When I started on this voyage, it seemed like I would never run out of books from the maestro to devour.  But, inevitably, at some point, I approached the finish line.  I put Pet Sematary aside because I always wanted to have one last vintage yarn from Uncle Stevie to dig into.  Decades passed.  And the time came.  I just had to give it a go.  First off, I'm sure glad that I finally took the plunge; Pet Sematary is a demented masterpiece, and it is as entertaining as it is unspeakable.  Secondly, this was probably a good one to set aside, for it is as dark and haunting as anything King has written.  It is maybe as dark and haunting as anything I've ever read, and that puts it right up there with The Exorcist* and Lord of the Flies**.  Pet Sematary is all kinds of heavy, and it puts the characters (a really likable family and a friendly neighbor of the highest degree) through all kinds of awful shit.  And the whole time, you sense the storm brewing, and somehow knowing that these people will suffer in abhorrent ways makes them that much more endearing.  I guess that makes Pet Sematary as much of a tragedy as it is a horror novel, and it does operate on a grand scale that it isn't altogether common within the genre.  King dares to grapple with some of the most difficult questions we all face in this life, and his answers here are as brutal as they are blunt.  At the same time, the prose is warm and inviting, and the book itself unwinds like a tale spun by that remarkable neighbor, good old Jud Crandall, a kindly soul with a gift for piquing our interest.  This story is intriguing from the onset, and as the stakes rise and the tension mounts, it becomes savagely addictive.  I turned pages and begged the main character to change course with considerable tenacity, though I knew to expect the very worse at every turn.  And toward that end, King delivered.  Oh man.  He delivered in spades.

*Surprise!  The scariest movie of all time sprang forth from a novel that is equally intense and frightening.  Indeed, the book has additional depth and takes the startling premise even further.

**Fuck William Golding.  Fuck Lord of the Flies.  Simon's death may be the most traumatic aspect of my high school education, and that little episode in my life had trauma to spare.  Also: fantastic book, hell of a writer.  Highly recommended!

Final Grade: A+

Short Attention Span Review: Black Death (2010)

Short Attention Span Review: Black Death (2010)

A friend recommended Black Death to me upon its release, describing it as a dark action film with some horror elements.  I didn't jump on it immediately (obviously), but when it crossed my radar this weekend, I decided to check it out.  After all, Sean Bean is a personal fave, and I dig dark action films with some horror elements.  What did I think?  Well, it's like this: Black Death is not a bad movie at all, but I don't know that I can recommend it.  And, if I did so, I would bill it as a dark drama with a couple of brief action scenes and just a smidge of horror to help this very bitter medicine go down.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, but that's not how my pal pitched the movie, and it doesn't seem to mesh with the film's marketing or packaging either.  To be fair, anyone looking for a decidedly grim and deliberate exploration of faith in times of crisis and resolve in the face of certain death may just hail this morbid saga as a masterpiece.  The script is knowledgable, the direction is solid, and the cast is thoroughly committed to delving deep into misery and despair on a grand scale.  I can't really take anything away from the craftsmanship and the artistry on display in Black Death.  It is a striking tale, and it is well told.  However, anyone hoping for excitement or anything that even remotely resembles a good time at the movies should steer clear.  This is a bleak odyssey that combines filmmaking prowess with a potent desire to drown hope in a festering sea of sickness and death.
  
Final Grade: B

It's a depressing picture about the plague, and we've got Sean Bean in the lead role.  What do you think his chances of survival are?

Short Attention Span Review: Dark Was the Night (2014)

Short Attention Span Review: Dark Was the Night (2014)

Here's a little picture that slipped through the cracks for the most part and didn't seem to garner a lot of praise.  Mostly regarded as average, I was intrigued by the title and premise, but I honestly didn't expect much from Dark Was the Night.  However, it didn't take long for me to become enthralled, and I found this to be a rock solid creature feature.  I really enjoyed the old school monster movie approach with a plot that fit the "slow boil" mold to perfection and direction that yielded only a few glimpses of the creature until the rousing conclusion.  Kevin Durand and Lukas Haas put in quality work as the leads, and each character came equipped with a backstory that made them easy to root for.  I liked the way the town of Maiden Woods was depicted, and a typical assortment of stock characters made me feel right at home in no time.  Director Jack Heller did a great job of establishing suspense and creating an atmosphere of dread while fleshing out his characters, and he engineered a few big scares along the way to give this one some bite.  Some might be annoyed at the bluish tint that settles over most of the proceedings, but I thought it gave the picture a unique look and it paired nicely with some of the emotional battles playing out in the lives of our protagonists.  Finally, the big finale didn't let me down, and while the effects weren't exactly top-shelf material, they didn't miss the mark by much.  When the town of Maiden Woods gathered together to make their last stand, I found the confrontation that played out to be thrilling and satisfying, and the ending was a perfect throwback to the creature features of my youth.  Yes, those who have a similar nostalgia for the monster movies of the 70s and 80s may find more to enjoy here than modern audiences, but Dark Was the Night is a well-made horror flick that should entertain genre fans of any era.  Is it a B movie?  Absolutely, but it's a damn good B movie, and I would personally welcome a sequel with open arms.

Final Grade: B

I loved the old school creature feature feel, and Kevin Durand and Lukas Haas made for a pair of likable leads.

Short Attention Span Review: Slow West (2015)

Some of the best movies ever made are westerns, yet that's a genre that doesn't yield many motion pictures in this day and age.  Given the short supply, the odds of landing upon a quality western has greatly decreased, but then along comes a movie like Slow West.  While both the pace and the brooding nature of this movie are staples of the genre, the humor and the keen wit that permeate the piece make it unconventional enough to emerge as a distinct creation.  It doesn't really feel like modern fare and yet it is a far cry from the type of picture that Clint Eastwood or John Wayne would have starred in despite some potent similarities.  Director John Maclean takes his time with the tale and it's hard to believe that the sometimes leisurely and wildly unpredictable journey that we're treated to is confined to a mere 84 minutes.  At the forefront of the picture are Kodi Smit-McPhee as Jay Cavendish, a curious lad who is traversing foreign soil in search of his beloved, and Michael Fassbender as the wily bounty hunter who decides to chaperone this lost cause of a human being.  The film belongs to these two actors and they both offer up stirring performances.  Even as a series of flashbacks clearly display Jay's affection for Rose Ross (Caren Pistorious), those same glimpses of his former life lead us to believe that his heart is leading him astray.  Fassbender's Silas Selleck has his reasons for leading the lovestruck young man across the country, and it becomes obvious that what he decides to do when Jay and Rose are reunited will define him as a man.  Jay and Silas cover a lot of dangerous ground and meet some interesting people, all while a band of outlaws that Silas once rode with lurk in the background.  In the bloody finale, Maclean manages to deliver several surprises, a couple of delightful sight gags, a bit of meditation on the meaning of life, and a worthy conclusion to an intriguing western that I greatly enjoyed.

Final Grade: B+

Fassbender oozes cool as a gritty survivor type who could easily be confused
with Eastwood's "Man with No Name" if he wasn't so talkative.
Well, it would also help if he could hold his liquor.  That too.

Short Attention Span Review: Killer Joe (2011)

I greatly enjoy many of William Friedkin's films.  The Exorcist is an iconic horror film, and I'm equally fond of his most underrated picture, Sorcerer.  In truth, I typically have a hard time recommending Sorcerer because it's so grim that I know that many probably won't enjoy it despite the fact that I believe that it's a genuine masterpiece.  With that in mind, let me start this review by saying that Sorcerer is about as merry and heart-warming as Annie when compared with Killer Joe.  Seriously, this is one nasty movie, and it gleefully takes vulgarity to new heights.  Or should it be lows?  It doesn't matter--the point is simply this: there are times when this movie is surely as grotesque and revolting as anything you're apt to see that is worth watching.  Yet it is also a superb effort bolstered by fabulous performances, flawless direction, and remarkable cinematography.  The script (adapted by Tracy Letts from his play) is also a major achievement in that it keeps you riveted even though the cast of characters is mostly unlikable and the story that unfolds is a wicked descent into utter depravity.  It's really Mathew McConaughey's show, and he sizzles throughout, totally owning a part that would have brought many gifted performers to their knees.  He is vicious, charismatic, insane, and extremely entertaining.  The rest of the cast (including Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple, Gina Gershon and her beaver pelt, and Thomas Haden Church, who join forces to portray what may be the stupidest family in the history of the cinema) are also down for this darkly comedic ride.  The ending is truly marvelous--I'm tempted to say that it may be the finest abrupt ending that I've ever beheld.  It's a perfect spot to close the show out even though it comes during the most striking moment in the film and leaves you with a couple of potent questions to ponder during the credits.  In closing, if you can stomach it, you're going to be rather amazed by Killer Joe.

Final Grade: A

You will never look at a drumstick quite the same way after watching this one.

Male-Bonding Trailer

Male-Bonding was shot in 2004.  I think it was 2004.  Maybe it was 2003.  It was a long time ago, and bringing this particular project to fruition has been quite an adventure.  The short was nearly completed mere months after being shot, yet a tragic twist of fate (or human error, maybe that's a better description) rendered the movie and the footage lost for ages.  Years, anyway.  Then the footage was located just in time to be lost again.  True story.  Finally, the footage was found, and (drum roll, please) assembled.  It was like the making of Apocalypse Now, only far less significant and dramatic. 

So, here's the Male-Bonding Trailer.  Scope it out, share your thoughts, and I'll keep you posted on this twisted little jolt of black humor. 

Sabotage

I watched Sabotage last night and I enjoyed it as much as one can enjoy such a dark piece.  It wasn't your typical Schwarzenegger thrill ride, that's for sure.  This one was seriously grim at times; the good guys were seldom that good, though the bad guys were surely that bad.  It was fast-paced, complex, and it was centered by a solid performance from Arnold, who seemed to be summoning Clint Eastwood.  There was definitely a western vibe to the picture and there were enough twists and turns to keep the audience guessing.  Sabotage is a difficult watch in many ways, but it was highly-entertaining, with a game cast and a dark heart to go along with an abundance of violence and profanity. 

Spidey vs. Bats

Note: read prior to clicking the link

Kudos to the good people of SCREWATTACK.  What a cheerful bunch.  They've really brought something special to us, and I find that I must concur with most of their conclusions.  However, I fear that the outcome would be far more decisive.

vs.

You be the judge:

Spidey vs. Bats

Note: read after clicking the link

What?
It wasn't silly.  You mine the internet for little gems like that.  That was educational.
I think those gentlemen are doing fine work.