Short Attention Span Review - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

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Since I recently reviewed the first two movies in the Terminator series, I decided to take another look at Terminator 3 this weekend.  While it's vastly inferior to its predecessors, it's also vastly superior to Terminator: Salvation, and I do enjoy it.  Some people probably hate all the humor, but that's one of my favorite things about this one.  That and the ridiculous car chase.  I'm not so keen on Nick Stahl as John Connor, though Claire Danes is always a joy to watch.  I definitely think that Kristanna Loken killed it as the T-X, the anti-Terminator Terminator.  The downbeat nature of the piece doesn't mesh well with Arnold constantly winking at the camera, and some of the later action scenes are a bit underwhelming.  So Terminator 3 is a bit of a mixed bag and it never ventures anywhere near the greatness of The Terminator or T2, but Arnold does his job well and most of the action is worthwhile.  It's not must-see entertainment, but fans of this sort of material should get a kick out of it. 

Final Grade: C

He's back!

Short Attention Span Review: Milius (2013)

As documentaries about filmmakers go, it is hard to imagine any subject being more prolific or intriguing than writer and director John Milius.  It should come as no surprise then that Milius is such a spectacle.  Even as a fan of this gifted filmmaker and his larger-than-life personality, I was surprised to see just how broad his impact on the film industry has been.  Those who aren't as familiar with John's body of work will likely be flabbergasted to learn that one man played such a pivotal role in so many iconic pictures and performances over the years.  His contributions to movies like Jaws and Dirty Harry are discussed along with movies he scripted (Apocalypse Now and Jeremiah Johnson, among others) and directed (films like Dillinger, The Wind and the Lion, and Conan the Barbarian).  Professional accomplishments aside, the stories about his larger-than-life antics and his brazen disregard for going with the flow are wildly compelling.  This documentary also benefits from more than just a wealth of intriguing material; the number of famed participants who share their thoughts on John's work and persona throughout the picture is positively mind-boggling.  It is entirely possible that it would be easier to list the major actors, directors, and producers who weren't in this documentary than it would be to name everyone who appeared in the picture.  Milius offers far more than reflection on the cinema and funny stories about a brazen individual, touching on politics and delving into some truly emotional territory in the closing reel.  As a fan, I was totally captivated, but I imagine that those who aren't as familiar with the subject--and perhaps even those who don't like John's filmography--will be entertained by this documentary.  It is bold, colorful, and surprisingly nuanced, much like John Milius himself.

Final Grade: A

Short Attention Span Review: T2 (1991)

Schwarzenegger returned to one of his most thrilling roles in 1991, but this time out his Terminator got to be the hero of the picture.  I actually think the first Terminator movie is more entertaining primarily due to Arnold's magnificent presence as the villain, a vicious machine programmed to kill, and the lean runtime doesn't hurt either.  Having said that, those who claim this bigger and far more dramatic sequel is superior to the original certainly have a strong case.  This isn't just one of Schwarzenegger's better movies, it's definitely one of the best action movies ever produced.  The effects are incredible, the choreography is splendid, and the performances are top-notch.  It is a bit long, but it never drags--the movie is overflowing with riveting sequences that must be seen to be believed.  Arnold's fearsome Terminator is now programmed to protect John Connor (Edward Furlong in perhaps his only role of note, though I thought Brainscan was okay) from a more advanced killer machine from the future.  This new baddie, the T-1000 (played to perfection by the underrated Robert Patrick), is a shapeshifting and seemingly invincible assassin made of "liquid metal."  The creativity that James Cameron brought to the table provides this frightening nemesis with an abundance of cool things to do and Stan Winston's supreme effects work was nothing short of amazing.  Upon its release, T2 was widely regarded as the finest special effects extravaganza ever lensed, and it has certainly aged well--it still towers above most science fiction movies, to include many recent releases from major studios.  The chases and throwdowns that populate the picture are executed to terrific effect and there are few directors who could depict such carnage as well as Cameron.  I prefer The Terminator but I can't take anything away from T2, it's a terrific successor that is surely worthy of all the praise and acclaim that it has generated over the years.

Final Grade: A

T2 isn't just one of Schwarzenegger's best movies,
it's one of the best action movies of all time.

Short Attention Span Review: The Terminator (1984)

As we gear up for a new entry in the the Terminator franchise, I took the time to revisit the 1984 thriller that started it all.  The Terminator is my favorite entry in the series (T2 be damned) and it is still vastly entertaining some 30+ years after it hit the scene.  I think it has more heart and soul than the first sequel, and though Robert Patrick was awesome, no one has topped Arnold's showstopping performance as the villainous machine the series is named after yet.  Yes, T2 is amazing, and even if I don't agree, I understand where the people who think it improves upon the original are coming from.  The third movie was okay, the fourth was pretty okay too, I guess, though it didn't seem to fit.  This latest attempt at reviving the property looks pretty kickass, but I'm not here to speculate, I'm here to heap praise on Cameron's breakout hit.  The Terminator is a lean picture with several stellar action setpieces and three noteworthy stars owning their parts while an able supporting cast rounds things out in style.  Hell, Lance Henriksen is on hand in a true throwaway role, so you know The Terminator had talent to spare.  Michael Biehn is a revelation as the gritty hero who is greatly outmatched, Linda Hamilton is fantastic in a tough role that requires a lot of emoting and physicality, and Arnold is a supreme badass.  Who else could have played this part?  Stan Winston's effects are stellar and surely played a pivotal role in The Terminator's success, but Arnold is the biggest special effect in the movie.  Not only is his physical appearance so damn imposing, but he does a wonderful job with his lines and his handling of the various weapons he uses throughout the film is truly impressive.  Everyone involved deserves a lot of credit, but this franchise was launched on Schwarzenegger's broad shoulders to tremendous effect.  Whether you classify it as an action movie or a science-fiction thriller (it's actually both), this is a genuine classic.

Final Grade: A+

He may not have played a villain often, but this superb action film
proves that Arnold could nail such a roll when programmed to do so.

Short Attention Span Review: Conan the Barbarian (1982)

There are only a handful of movies that I enjoy as much as Conan the Barbarian.  I'm a fan of Arnold, I'm a fan of action movies, and I'm a big fan of Robert E. Howard's mighty Cimmerian, so this shouldn't be breaking news.  Yet I think that anyone who enjoys an entertaining and energetic film should be able enjoy this smash hit from 1982 whether they have an interest in any of those things or not.  Expertly directed by John Milius, well-scripted, and bolstered by some truly fabulous sets, this is a remarkable motion picture.  Yes, there are some considerable alterations to Howard's vision, but many of these changes benefit the movie and none of them detract from it.  I have been a fan of this character for a great many years, and in my personal opinion, the differences that spring up in his adventures on the big screen, the printed page, and within the realm of comics have seldom diminished his charisma.  Conan is such a rich creation that it's difficult to modify him to such an extent that he loses his luster, though later film efforts would succeed in doing just that.  This stellar Schwarzenegger vessel is a real winner that may be the finest action yarn depicting a quest for vengeance that has ever been produced.  The cast is magnificent and the action sequences are rousing, realistic, and impressive to behold--a daunting trifecta, to say the least.  The plot is well-constructed and seldom has such an intriguing character been so free to roam.  The poster doesn't lie, for we see Conan enslaved as a child, forced to become a pitfighter when he comes of age, and he later earns his keep as a thief before emerging as the warrior he is destined to become.  Unlike many of the pictures that populate such fantastic realms, Conan the Barbarian isn't a whimsical effects show but rather a dark and gritty saga ripe with brutality and dismay.  The score courtesy of Basil Poledouris is a vibrant masterpiece that only adds to the movie's incredible power.  In fact, it may be my favorite score ever, and it's surely my favorite score by anyone other than John Carpenter.  Director John Milius is a woefully underrated figure in the motion picture industry and Conan the Barbarian is surely his greatest achievement.  I'm gushing a bit and I know it, but I just don't know how else to put it: if you truly want to know what is best in life, you must watch this movie.

Final Grade: A+ (it's better than Stygian Black Lotus)

As Conan, Arnold delivers perhaps the best prayer of all time.

Conan's Prayer

Crom, I have never prayed to you before.  I have no tongue for it. 

No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many.  That's what's important.

Valor pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request.  Grant me revenge.

And if you do not listen?  Then to hell with you! 

The Expendables 3

I reviewed The Expendables 3 for RVA Magazine yesterday.  Do scope it out.  It appears the critics are being rather hard on it (imagine that) and the box office numbers aren't dazzling anyone, but I gave it a good review.  Why wouldn't I?  I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I'm a big fan of the series thus far and I hope the gang keeps on rocking.  Anyway, enjoy the review.

Top 5 Mel Gibsons Movies

RVA Magazine has posted my Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies as we continue to count down the days until The Expendables 3 hits theaters.  Scope it out and share your thoughts on the man Barney Ross and company will be looking to gun down this weekend.

Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies in the Works!

So, I'm not going anywhere near any of the controversy.  Honestly, I feel like everyone is entitled to a bad moment or two and these are fun pieces about movies.  Currently, I am working on a Top 5 Mel Gibson Movies piece for the good people over at RVA Magazine to follow up my Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece they already posted this week.  We're doing these as a countdown to the release of The Expendables 3, which I'll also be reviewing for them upon release. 

With Mel, picking the #1 movie on that list is a true no-brainer, but after that, there are no easy calls.  Your suggestions are welcome, and I'll let you know when the piece is posted.

Thanks!

The Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies c/o RVA Magazine is Up!

You can check out My Top 5 Schwarzenegger Movies piece for RVA Magazine here.  I had a lot of fun with this one as the big dude's work is near and dear to my heart.  Please scope it out and I would love it if you were to share your thoughts--everybody loves Arnold!

Tackling Schwarzenegger

I'm putting together a fresh Top 5 for my good friends over at RVA Magazine, and this time I'll be sizing up Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies.  I'm truly surprised I haven't done this one before, and it promises to be difficult.  I know what the top two are, but I'm not sure about the order, and beyond that it's just going to be brutal.  I love Arnold and I've grown up watching his movies.  I'm super-stoked to see he and Sly join forces once again in The Expendables 3, a picture I'll also be reviewing for RVA Magazine when it opens in a couple of weeks.  Few things about the current state of cinema thrill me as much as seeing the big guns from my childhood working together like they have been as of late.  There are also some other Top 5s that may figure into this equation being discussed.  Maybe Mel, maybe tough-guy ensemble pictures.  Maybe both, who knows?  Anyway, I'll share links to the articles here and keep you posted.

In other words, . . . I'll be back.

Sabotage

I watched Sabotage last night and I enjoyed it as much as one can enjoy such a dark piece.  It wasn't your typical Schwarzenegger thrill ride, that's for sure.  This one was seriously grim at times; the good guys were seldom that good, though the bad guys were surely that bad.  It was fast-paced, complex, and it was centered by a solid performance from Arnold, who seemed to be summoning Clint Eastwood.  There was definitely a western vibe to the picture and there were enough twists and turns to keep the audience guessing.  Sabotage is a difficult watch in many ways, but it was highly-entertaining, with a game cast and a dark heart to go along with an abundance of violence and profanity. 

The Last Stand

I finally sat down to watch The Last Stand a few days ago, and I had a good time with it.  I was born in '78, which is a lot like being a child of the 80s, and therefore it probably goes without saying that I'm a Schwarzenegger fan.  I'm American after all, and Conan the Barbarian was practically my godfather.  Having said that, Arnold's last few movies before his foray into politics were a bit lacking.  I did enjoy his cameo in The Expendables and his extended cameo in The Expendables 2, but I was still unsure of just what to expect from The Last Stand.  The previews led me to believe that it was going to be a bit too silly for me, but the film itself was a pleasant surprise.

Now, let's be real, it is a bit silly, and that shouldn't come as a shock given that Johnny Knoxville and Luis Guzman (a couple of personal favorites of mine) are in the supporting cast, but it's also surprisingly slick.  The action was tight, the pace was relentless, and Arnold was game.  Yes, the big guy still has it.  Sure, he's getting old, and he's certainly slowing down, but he still has a presence that's hard to match.  I think the biggest reason The Last Stand was a winner, however, was the direction c/o Kim Jee-Woon.  What should have been a lesser vessel with some big names and big explosions in the mix become an exercise in style and a frantic race toward a nifty conclusion.

There were flaws, to be sure, but The Last Stand was a lot of fun and I'm going to recommend it to anyone who enjoys Arnold or a solid action film.  It probably doesn't need to be stated here, but obviously this one is nowhere near as good as classic Schwarzenegger fare like Conan, Predator, or The Terminator, but it was head and shoulders above his most recent offerings.  Additionally, I found it to be far more entertaining than most of the action films clogging up the cinema these days.  Of course, I dig throwbacks, and I don't mind it when my action films are a bit tongue-in-cheek.