Short Attention Span Review - Blood Fest (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Blood Fest (2018)

Blood Fest is one of those fast-paced and energetic flicks that aim to pay homage to the slasher sub-genre while finding a few new wrinkles to explore along the way.  But there's no concerted effort to deliver some sort of classic, to join the ranks of Halloween or Scream.  And that, my friends, is a good thing.  In my humble opinion, there's no better way to muck up this beloved sub-genre than to start thinking franchise and legacy before you put one rock-solid film in the can.   Blood Fest has no illusions of grandeur, but it wants to shake and move from the first shot all the way to the last.  It peppers us with diabolical kills, laughs, cool characters to spare, and some gnarly sets and shenanigans.  It works in most of these areas far more often than it falters, and it really clicks where those characters are concerned.  I liked all of our principals, with a secondary character who was a misunderstood actor who had portrayed a slasher himself being my favorite.  This gave the picture a bit more importance than it may have warranted otherwise, and each kill hit me pretty hard.  In the average slasher flick, there are one or two characters you dig, a handful of characters you could care less about, and at least one schmuck who can't get offed soon enough.  This picture has a schmuck, to be sure, but beyond that, I really liked everyone else mired in this quirky struggle for survival.  The set-up worked, the effects were quality, the score was on point, and the talent in front of the camera and their peers toiling behind the camera all earned their pay.  Was it a great horror movie?  No, but that was never in the cards.  Was it a fun slasher flick that I can easily recommend to all of my readers?  Damn straight.  Job well done, Blood Fest.

Final Grade: B+

Bloody, fun, witty, and (most importantly) populated by likable characters, Blood Fest is a worthwhile slasher flick that this particular horror junkie slept on for far too long. 

Ranking the Friday the 13th Films

For me, this means any film featuring my man Jason Voorhees.  I'm a lifelong fan of the horror genre, and the Friday the 13th series is one of my personal favorites.  I've always had a soft spot for these gems, maybe because I grew up in the sticks and camping has always been something that I enjoy.  I definitely think Jason is better than Freddy, and though I may ultimately favor the Phantasm series, sample size is definitely a win for the Friday the 13th camp.  Anyway, here's how I would rank the movies:

1) Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - In my humble opinion, it's easily the most entertaining entry for either of these beloved franchises.  Seeing Jason play the hero in the closing reel is pretty epic as well, and that throwdown rocks!

2) Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) - Brutal stuff.  It opens with the lead from the first one biting the dust and never lets up.  It's short, scary, and one of my favorite slasher films from the '80s--the decade of the slasher flick.

3) Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) - Some think this is a cheesy affair, and maybe they're right, but it's also kooky and creepy.  I dig it. 

4) Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982) - This one is definitely cheesy, but it's also a solid entry that I really enjoy.  Love the disco version of the theme song!!!!

5) Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) - Cheesy again, but also damn entertaining.  Thom Mathews from Return of the Living Dead shines as the hero, and this probably has the best opening scene in the series.  I'm also a big fan of the conclusion.

6) Jason X (2001) - Sorry, I love it.  Great kills, cool story, utterly ridiculous.  Sounds like a good time, right?

7) Friday the 13th (1980) - I have to give the original some love.  This is where it all began, and it's one of the most sincere and unique efforts in the series.

8) Jason Goes to Hell (1993) - This one is a lot of fun and it has some nice effects.  Some of my friends might put it at the top of their list.

9) Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) - I should probably rank this one a bit higher; it is a really good entry, and I'm very fond of it.  These lists are never easy to put together because of choices like this.

10) Friday the 13th (2009 - reboot) - I actually like it, but it doesn't quite fit and it obviously didn't rejuvenate the franchise like they had hoped.  Dude throwing down with Jason at the end doesn't quite work for me either, and the archery shit is dumb.  That aside, there are some solid kills, and the prick ranks among the best pricks in the series.  That has to count for something, right?  The opening is intense as hell, but it stumbles a lot after that.

11) Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) - It's hard for me to include this one.  It's not that good, and it doesn't feel like it belongs at all.  Truthfully, I like it much more now than I did then, but I still don't like it. 

12) Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) - Pure shit.  Maybe the worst ending of any horror film in the history of horror films.  Jason should have killed the writer and the director instead.