Short Attention Span Review: The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

Short Attention Span Review: The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

Two utterly magnificent things happened in 1978: I was born and Chang Cheh gave us The Five Deadly Venoms, which may just be the coolest martial arts film of all time.  Bruce Lee's catalog aside, this is undoubtedly the definitive karate flick, and it will also appeal to fans of the horror genre--and perhaps even fans of superhero movies.  The Shaw Brothers gave us an abundance of kung fu gems marked by great sets and even better choreography, and I think most fans will agree that The Five Deadly Venoms was their best offering.  Additionally, no one was better suited to helm these bodacious flicks than Chang Cheh, and this is surely his finest hour.  This is also the film that gave us the Venom Mob (Shen Chiang, Chien Sun, Phillip Chung-Fung Kwok, Meng Lo, Pai Wei, and Feng Lu), and while each of these considerable talents would shine in other pictures, the whole gang would never join forces again in a single picture--and I think this one may represent each performer's best work with the exception of Shen Chiang.  He is the lead here and he's absolutely terrific, but I rank his work in Crippled Avengers a little higher.  The groovy plot revolves around a master who has trained the fearsome Venoms of the title in five distinct styles, each of which comes equipped with something akin to a super power.  These warriors are the Toad, the Lizard, the Centipede, the Scorpion, and the Snake.  They train under this master (Dick Wei) in masks, and thus their identities are kept a secret.  Later, the master trains a new student, Yang Tieh (Shen Chiang), and while he is not a master of any of the five styles, he understands a little of each.  As the master nears his end, he begins to fear that his five original pupils may be too dangerous for this world, so he sends young Yang Tieh to try and figure out who the Venoms are, determine if they are good men or bad men, and eliminate any who are using their skills for nefarious purposes.  This sets the stage for a supremely badass film brimming with secret identities, desperate alliances, epic brawls, and a nifty twist or two to keep everyone on their toes.  Of course, the highlights of the movie are the bloody showdowns, but there's also an abundance of gore on display and I love the sinister mood that permeates the piece.  Finally, The Five Deadly Venoms concludes with a five star showdown where all bets are off, and this amazing setpiece showcasing all of the characters who have yet to perish is easily the most stupendous final reel in the history of martial arts cinema outside of Enter the Dragon.

Final Grade: A+

Bruce Lee's catalog aside, The Five Deadly Venoms is the ultimate karate flick.  As such, it is the best offering from the Shaw Brothers, who gave us a wealth of kung fu treachery to enjoy.

Short Attention Span Review - Five Shaolin Masters (1974)

A simplified version of the story for Five Shaolin Masters would read something like this: Five righteous dudes get their asses whipped by five heinous dudes.  The five righteous dudes go train together, developing their skills and formulating plans for the upcoming rematches.  At the end, all that hard work and training really pays off as the five righteous dudes kick the shit out of the five heinous dudes.  That's about the sum of it, yet with a film like this, it doesn't really matter.  It's the delivery that counts, and kung fu flick maestro Chang Cheh is calling the shots.  No director was better suited to helm one of these pictures, and no one was better suited to produce the movie than the Shaw Brothers.  This is another colorful epic that surely ranks among their best offerings.  It's not quite on the same level as the studio's crown jewel, The Five Deadly Venoms (also directed by Chang Cheh), but one could certainly make a great argument for putting Five Shaolin Masters next on the list.  This is one of the few Cheh Chang films that isn't highlighted by stars from the fabled Venom Mob, but the cast is legit.  My main man David Chiang is on point, and his Blood Brothers co-star Lung Ti also does a tremendous job.  There are several extremely effective fight scenes and there is some top-notch weapons choreography on display.  The action is great, the characters are bold, and the end result is an entertaining kung fu romp that concludes with a monumental showdown.

Final Grade: A

These five righteous dudes bond over a series of good beatings and come
together to train as they prepare to turn the tables on five heinous dudes.

Short Attention Span Review: Crippled Avengers (1978)

Often referred to as a sequel to the baddest kung fu flick of them all, Five Deadly Venoms, Crippled Avengers is actually a totally different feature from the Shaw Brothers.  It does reunite most of the cast from that martial arts masterpiece with gifted director Chang Cheh, and though I can't say that Crippled Avengers is as good as Five Deadly Venoms, it's definitely close.  The plot is an epic exercise in kung fu treachery: a sadistic master of tiger style kung fu and his equally vicious son (who have a tragic backstory that almost justifies their dastardly behavior) take great pleasure in crippling anyone who offends them.  Four of these victims (one who is rendered deaf and mute, one who is blinded, one who loses his legs from the knees down, and one who winds up with brain damage) join together and learn how to defend themselves in spite of their disabilities.  Once their training is complete, they return to seek vengeance against the evil master and his son in one of Chang Cheh's signature battles boasting numerous opponents and various styles.  No one could stage such a duel like Cheh, who excelled at presenting grueling showdowns that were ripe with talented performers (he made numerous films with the same stars) and showcased some of the best fight choreography ever captured on film.  In addition to the stellar fight scenes, this movie also benefits from the glorious sets and the bold color schemes that are typical of the motion pictures produced by the Shaw Brothers.  It also succeeds because it tells a good story (even if it is a bit far-fetched) and it is well-acted.  If you are looking for kung fu treachery and you have yet to experience the Shaw Brothers and Chang Cheh's work in particular, you're doing it all wrong.  Crippled Avengers is definitely in my top ten so far as martial arts movies are concerned, and it may even be in my top five. I also have to give some major props to Sheng Chiang, for while I love all the Venom Mob guys in the cast, his performance here as the brain-damaged warrior is a splendid treat.

Final Grade: A

Let the training begin!

The Man with the Iron Fists

I'm a kung-fu guy.  Like, I love the movies, and I studied it.  Well, kind of.  There wasn't a kung-fu class anywhere around, so I spent a good portion of my life studying everything that I had access to.  I love the old movies, particularly The 5 Deadly Venoms and any other Chang Cheh features.  If it comes c/o The Shaw Brothers, I'm probably down, and then there's that Bruce Lee guy.  We can file all of that under stuff that I love.

So, I was thrilled with the throwback approach RZA took with The Man with the Iron Fists, and for the most part, I enjoyed the picture.  It's ludicrous, and anyone who doesn't like a vintage kung-fu outing shouldn't expect to enjoy this one any more, but I'm cool with that.  I loved the score, the choreography was on point, and all of the characters were badass.  Well, all of them except for RZA in the title role.

Now, I'm not really busting his chops for giving himself the lead role, though it should be noted that while he managed to pull his fight scenes off, he was definitely the least impressive presence in the film when it came time to throw down.  Yet that wasn't really the problem.  The problem was in a picture bursting with interesting characters, the main character was dull.  Seriously dull.  I'm not even sure that it was because it was a tired approach that we've seen a hundred times over, for that could be said of many of the roles, and most of them managed to impress.  There were like ten primary characters, and everyone but the main character was a delight to watch in this festive romp.

Russell Crowe owned the movie, but he had some serious competition.  The gore was fantastic.  All things considered, I had a good time with it, so I'm going to recommend it, but it's a shame that the main protagonist wasn't more charismatic.