Short Attention Span Review: Forced Vengeance (1982)

Short Attention Span Review: Forced Vengeance (1982)

Forced Vengeance is a typical American kung-fu flick for its era, and as such, it is both amateurish in many ways and entertaining enough to warrant a viewing.  The chief asset here is Chuck Norris, of course, and he plays a surprisingly hard-edged character.  Also atypical for his work is the sex and extreme violence depicted herein, to include some gore to go along with all of the star's blazing kicks.  I think this works in the film's favor, as the role of a casino enforcer wouldn't have worked with one of the actor's trademark "really nice guy who can kick a lot of ass" performances.  Unfortunately, it is a bit mean-spirited and (even worse) decidedly misogynistic.  That certainly takes a lot of the pleasure out of an action flick that never aspires to be anything more than a guilty pleasure.  Bummer, dude.  Oh, and lest I forget, the narration (courtesy of Chuck) is both totally unnecessary and 100% lifeless.  It's like he's reading this shit for the first time, and the content consists of needless exposition (this is not a difficult film to follow) and woeful attempts at some poor writer's idea of kung fu noir.  Take this nugget that serves to wrap things up:  "Hong Kong.  A borrowed place that lives on borrowed time.  The British run it now.  But in seventeen years, the lease runs out.  And the People's Republic is the landlord.  But this is a city of survivors.  And whatever happens, Hong King will always be the place."  Cue credits.  Seriously.  On the plus side, the choreography is above average (maybe second only to The Octagon* where Chuck's filmography is concerned), and Norris squares off against some decent opposition along the way.  Michael Cavanaugh's Stan Raimondi is a surprisingly difficult foe to dispatch, and he's one of many villains who put up a decent fight.  There are also some nifty touches from director James Fargo, with one battle displayed as a vibrant war of silhouettes that shows more artistry than one would expect from such a picture.  All in all, this is a bit of mindless fun that would rank much higher and serve up a better viewing experience with a little more respect for the ladies and an absence of clumsy narration.  Even with those considerable blemishes to take into account, Forced Vengeance is one of Chuck's better movies.  It's not Top 5 material, but do keep in mind that while I love Chuck and I enjoy his work, he didn't make a lot of good movies.

*I've said this before, and I'll say it again: the closing reel wherein Chuck Norris tackles the ninja compound at the center of The Octagon is his best work as a leading man*, and that setpiece is kung fu flick royalty.  Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is a real drag, and despite those awesome fireworks by way of fisticuffs, the picture as a whole is a stinker.

**His work as Bruce Lee's nemesis in Return of the Dragon is his greatest accomplishment in the movies, and his climactic showdown with Bruce therein is one of the best duels ever in the history of martial arts cinema.

Final Grade: C+

See that guy with the rifle?
1) He is obviously one hell of a sentry.
2) He is about to get the shit beat out of him.

Short Attention: Deadpool 2 (2018)

Short Attention Span Review: Deadpool 2 (2018)

If you liked Deadpool, then you won't have any complaints about Deadpool 2.  Ryan Reynolds was born to play this part, and the fact that the powers that be have allowed him to do it his way is both a sweet blessing for comic book fanboys and the secret to this franchise's success.  In some ways, Deadpool 2 is better than its predecessor, particularly when it comes to big laughs and brawls.  It also has a more interesting narrative, but it may suffer from a lack of focus, as it does seem to meander at times.  It is also surprisingly sappy at times, and while it's hard to criticize a film for trying to inject more feeling into the proceedings, it certainly seemed a little odd to have Deadpool trying to pluck at my heartstrings.  However, it does boast Josh Brolin as Cable, and that may be the real secret to this sequel's appeal.  Reynolds is perfect as Deadpool, no doubt about it, and I enjoy his schtick, but it can be a bit grating.  Brolin's more grounded approach (which still relies on a heavy dose of humor) is a fine way to balance things out and provide a worthy counterpart to Deadpool's inane shenanigans.  Deadpool 2 is a little less vulgar than its predecessor, which I found surprising as sequels so often push the envelope in every way possible.  However, it definitely ups the ante on the comedic front in a big way, and that was my favorite thing about it.  Whereas Deadpool benefitted from a steady stream of chuckles, Deadpool 2 manages to do likewise while also sporting two bits that are as funny as anything you're apt to see.  I'm talking sequences so hilarious that I couldn't catch my breath I was laughing so hard.  I'm talking about a pair of comic setpieces that can rival the funniest parts of any movie ever lensed.  Yeah, that funny.  X-Force!  So, in summary, Deadpool 2 is more of a mixed bag than the first one was, and it has a few chinks in its armor, but when it wins, brothers and sisters, it wins big.  

Oh, and Reynolds continues to poke fun at his other comic book movie exploits to great effect, but his love/hate relationship with Hugh Jackman's Wolverine remains his greatest fallback.  That stuff is golden.

Final Grade: B+

No surprise here: Brolin is a welcome addition to this franchise.  At this point, he has emerged as a true powerhouse who would be a welcome addition to most any franchise.

Short Attention Span Review: Halloween II (2009 - Rob Zombie version)

Short Attention Span Review: Halloween II (2009 - Rob Zombie version)

DISCLAIMER:  There are two things that I should point out before we go any further.  First, I am a big fan of Rob Zombie's movies, and I understand that these are polarizing ventures.  His style isn't for everyone, but I dig it in a big way.  Hell, John Carpenter is my favorite director, and I've gone out on a limb before* and stated that I found Zombie's Halloween to be superior to the original because I loved both the additional depth and the ramped-up carnage.  Secondly, my praise here will refer ONLY to the director's cut** of Halloween II.  I saw the theatrical cut upon release and deemed it an abject failure.  After a friend nagged me for years, I finally gave the director's cut a chance and found it to be one hell of a horror film.

This is a case where you go in expecting one thing and get something else.  The opening reel makes it seem like Rob Zombie's second dance with The Shape is going to be a blistering rehash of the original sequel--and it is FREAKING AMAZING!!!  And then things take a hard left.  One of the hardest lefts you're ever going to experience while watching a beloved horror franchise, in fact.  And that may be too much for some to overcome, and it may have played a role in my disdain of the original release (though, upon comparison, there can be no doubt that it is grossly inferior to Zombie's preferred version) back in 2009.  However, those who hang on for the ride will get their money's worth--and then some.  While there are numerous departures from the source material at every turn and Zombie cross-pollinates a bloodthirsty slasher flick with the vision quest from hell, the end result is a dark and demented display of cold-blooded terror.  Eerie, vicious, and even heartbreaking at times, Halloween II covers a lot of bizarre ground.  Yet Zombie never loses his focus, and no matter how twisted things get, the center holds.  There is little relief available to viewers in this unsettling journey into madness and despair, and at times Halloween II is so bleak that it becomes extremely hard to endure.  Many feel that The Devil's Rejects is a tough watch, and I would agree, but Halloween II kinda makes that depraved grindhouse epic feel like a Spielberg movie.  Many of the beats take the story to places I didn't want it to go, but the results are impossible to ignore, and the impact of Rob's dedication to painting such a horrid picture is devastating.  There are moments of such unmistakable pain in this one that it emerges as one of the most haunting horror films I have seen, and that's just not what one typically expects from this sub-genre.  Rob Zombie's Halloween II is bold and unconventional when we want it to be familiar, and then it gets meditative and disturbingly introspective when we want it to be titillating.  I have little doubt that Zombie didn't expect fans to embrace this material with open arms, and the decision to forge ahead and challenge audiences with something so profound and terrifying is the very definition of audacious.  I salute him, and while I wouldn't make my dog watch the theatrical cut, I heartily recommend the director's cut to my fellow fright fans.  Just go in with an open mind and get ready to feel the fear.

Final Grade:  B+

Halloween II is everything you expect from a Rob Zombie film: brutal, grimy, frenzied, and profane.  It is also both the strangest thing he has ever put on film and one of the most surreal horror films you're apt to see from an American director.

*see my story When Michael met Rob - A Killer Love Story in RVA Magazine

**strange but true: I recommend the theatrical cut of Zombie's first Halloween and the director's cut of his sequel.  I don't hate the director's cut of the first one as much as I despise the theatrical cut of the second one, but it is a big step down.

Short Attention Span Review: The Last American Hero (1973)

Short Attention Span Review: The Last American Hero (1973)

The Last American Hero is a plucky movie, much like its hero.  It is determined to win the race, but it doesn't try to earn points for likability.  Those expecting a warm and fuzzy sports movie where we root for a promising upstart and cheer his eventual success may be a bit puzzled by this one.  Yes, it is about a promising upstart, and the movie does conclude with Jeff Bridges finally capturing the checkered flag as Junior Jackson.  Yet Jackson (closely modeled after famed stock car racer Junior Johnson) isn't the warm and fuzzy type, and his win at all costs attitude and his take no shit demeanor are front and center while he begrudgingly offers up a few displays of innocence and good old boy charm.  The filmmaking is authentic and invigorating; this looks and feels like the real thing, whether we're watching Jackson's early days running moonshine or his initial forays into auto racing.  In addition to Bridges, who clearly had the makings of a star at this age, we get to see young Gary Busey shine and marvel at B movie legend William Smith, who damn near steals the show in what almost amounts to a bit part.  Smith plays the antagonist, who is modeled after Richard Petty and is depicted as both formidable and vulnerable, and far too damn likable in spite of any flaws to be anything but a friendly rival.  The movie speeds along, and while it takes us on a journey and fleshes out its characters, it just doesn't seem as satisfying as it should be.  Maybe that is because Junior is so country tough and good old-fashioned stubborn that none of the various pitfalls he encounters shake him.  Maybe it's because he is so damn determined to force his way into victory lane that neither he nor we get much of a chance to savor his successes.  Maybe it's both.  And, while that may not make for a cinematic experience a la Rocky or  Rudy, it does ring true, and one is inclined to believe that this motion picture adequately conveys Tom Wolfe's writings about Junior Johnson.  So, while it may not exactly lift your spirits, The Last American Hero is an insightful and captivating film, and it is surely worth a watch.

Final Grade: B

A young Jeff Bridges displays star power in a lead role that is more about grit and determination than likability. 

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Short Attention Span Review - Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Having seen this masterpiece three times now, to include two showings at the theater, I feel that I am not rushing to judgment when I declare Avengers: Infinity War to be the best comic book movie of all time.  This is an instant classic, peeps, and it stands as one of the greatest cinematic achievements I have ever had the privilege of enjoying.  This is undoubtedly the biggest such spectacle ever presented on film, but with the superhero genre, in particular, we have often seen that too many ingredients spoil the dish.  That's not the case here, and this stands as the perfect culmination of everything we've seen from Marvel since they took the reins and established their cinematic universe.  Virtually everyone is on board, and everyone is given a worthy role.  Seeing these characters pair up and watching them spar with one another and the biggest bad ever seen in a motion picture is an absolute joy.  The script is flawless, with the feature displaying incredible depth and showcasing some of the best action setpieces we've ever seen, yet still managing to deliver an abundance of humor and several massive emotional beats along the way.  It's impossible to pick a standout as everyone brings their A-game and the Russo brothers make such marvelous (forgive me) use of all their talents.  I will say that the moment when the Guardians of the Galaxy hit the scene puts a tremendous smile on my face, and I do a fist pump every time grizzled Cap enters the fray.  But there's so much more--I also delight in Thor's MVP role in the proceedings, and you just can't oversell Josh Brolin's artistry in creating one of the most imposing and relatable villains imaginable.  I also loved seeing Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, and Okoye join forces, and that gut-wrenching climax is the stuff of legend.  Marvel has given a new generation an Empire Strikes Back experience times ten, though thankfully modern audiences won't have to wait three whole years to see the good guys rise from the ashes.  Marvel keeps raising the bar with their movies, but it is hard to imagine anyone topping this feast for the senses.  Like everyone else, I can't wait for the sequel, and even though I've just watched Avengers: Infinity War for the third time, I can't wait to watch it again either.  Best comic book movie ever.  Word life.

Final Grade: A+

Brolin's work as Thanos is amazing, and the unlikely decision to make him the true star of the picture makes Avengers: Infinity War the greatest comic book movie ever made.

Powerful Pages - James Bond: Vargr by Warren Ellis and Jason Masters (Graphic Novel - 2016)

Powerful Pages - James Bond: Vargr by Warren Ellis and Jason Masters (Graphic Novel - 2016)

As a general rule, I am wary of movie properties being adapted as comic books.  While I love both mediums, it just doesn't seem to work as well as it should in many instances.  However, Marvel has recently revived their Star Wars line to tremendous effect, and the praise heaped upon this take on everyone's favorite super spy courtesy of Warren Ellis and Jason Masters forced me to give it a look.  I'm glad everyone got the word out, because Vargr is a fantastic edition to the Bond catalog.  Cutting edge, dark, thrilling, and moving at a rollicking pace, I couldn't put this grisly escapade down.  Ellis did a fantastic job of plotting a non-stop assault that really put our hero through the wringer.  Masters took a low-key approach to the art and elevated the piece with his deliberate work and his refusal to shy away from the gruesome effects of all the carnage taking place.  I'm a big Bond fan, and I found Vargr to be as thrilling as any of his adventures on the big screen, and while it stayed true to the character, it was also the most ferocious take on the property I have encountered.  If this were a movie, Daniel Craig could play the part, though it would be far closer to John Wick than Casino Royale in terms of brutality.  While I note that Craig could play the part (and I honestly can't see any of his cinematic counterparts pulling off this level of phsyicality), I did like the fact that Ellis and Masters elected to render their own version of the character.  He isn't drawn like any of the actors who played the role and he doesn't necessarily look like the bloke (forgive me) on the old Ian Fleming book covers either.  In the end, I think that's precisely why this worked for me so well--Vargr felt perfectly at home in the character's legacy, but it was definitely its own thing.  It didn't aim to pay homage, it aimed to take a beloved property and break new ground, and I think that Ellis and Masters accomplished their mission.  Job well done, lads!

Final Grade: A

Thrilling, dark, and action-packed, Vargr is a great entry into the Bond legacy.

Powerful Pages: The Ninth Configuration by William Peter Blatty (1980)

Powerful Pages: The Ninth Configuration by William Peter Blatty (1980)

The Ninth Configuration is a curious venture, so it naturally makes for a curious read.  It defies expectations from the very start and interweaves some disparate genres in a quaint exercise in juxtaposition that makes it damn near irresistible.  Originally published as Twinkle, Twinkle, "Killer" Kane in 1966, the author revised the book and released it as The Ninth Configuration in 1980.  Blatty will forever be associated with The Exorcist, which is one of the greatest horror novels of all time.  Given the gothic trappings and a few macabre touches that are sprinkled throughout, many readers will expect something similar from The Ninth Configuration.  They will surely be disappointed.  In fact, anyone expecting anything that might equate to literal popcorn will be let down, as while the book exists largely as a comedy with a few horrific flourishes and one or two thrills, it is something entirely different at its core.  The structure is also something that may dismay many, as The Ninth Configuration is told mainly through colorful dialogue, and boasts a significant number of characters and events for a relatively brief tale that doesn't reach 200 pages in length.  At its quirky heart, this is a story of redemption, and it is frequently as much of a debate as it is a narrative.  The themes are complex, with the very nature of good and evil being explored as the power and authenticity of both psychology and religion are laid bare alongside equally insightful exploration of humanity itself.  These are heavy beats for a short book loaded with slapstick humor and a few provocative descents into terror and bloodshed.  While the end result is sure to be found lacking by those looking for something less quizzical and more titillating, I couldn't help but be overjoyed.  I laughed often, I was on the edge of my seat at times, and I found the conclusion to be profoundly moving.  Most importantly, The Ninth Configuration is the kind of book that you will not be able to experience without asking yourself some serious questions and pondering some of those powerful themes with a fresh perspective.

Final Grade: A-