Short Attention Span Review: Anaconda (1997)

Short Attention Span Review: Anaconda (1997)

Anaconda is a beautifully shot horror thriller that suffers from mediocre CGI effects and a plot that is laden with cliches, but the picture also comes equipped with an ace tucked away in its sleeve.  That ace is actor John Voight, whose wildly over-the-top performance consistently elevates the picture and makes it incredibly entertaining.  His send-up of Marlon Brando is far too ridiculous to be taken seriously, and yet it works flawlessly within the context of this motion picture.  Who knew that pairing a cheesy killer snake movie with a grossly exaggerated performance is actually a winning blueprint that serves up a plethora of thrills, chills, and chuckles?  Voight's Paul Serone sports a perpetual sneer, speaks in a mysterious accent, and ultimately winds up being about ten times as dangerous as the fearsome snake the picture is named after.  If it seems like I'm focusing this review almost entirely on Voight's histrionic efforts, that's because I feel that they probably should have called this one Paul Serone: The Movie.  Now, Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube are okay, and Eric Stoltz is rock solid in a smaller role, but they are merely footnotes in this film.  I gave the cinematography of Bill Butler a nod for good reason, and I also think that Luis Llosa did a fine job with the direction--though he clearly fares better with the exciting aspects of the picture than he does with his attempts to ratchet up the suspense.  Shoddy effects aside, there is a lot to like about Anaconda, but it is Voight's show through and through.  Dude devours scenery and totally overshadows everyone* he shares the screen with, to include any giant snakes in the mix.  Is Anaconda a good movie?  Eh, probably not.  Is it fun to watch?  Absolutely, and that's largely due to the presence of one sneering madman who overloads the proceedings with menace and charisma.

*Eric Stoltz actually holds his own with Voight, but sadly his character is off screen for most of the movie.

Final Grade: C

As a film, Anaconda is average at best, but Jon Voight makes it must-see entertainment.

Top 20 Horror Novels - #8) All Heads Turn When the Hunt Goes By by John Farris (from 1977)

Not only am I ranking my Top 20 Horror Movies for you this October, but I'm doing likewise with the scary books that I hold near and dear.  As with the movies that I'm discussing in that Top 20, I'm not attempting to rank these novels based on their place in pop culture, but rather their place in my heart.  Isn't that sweet?  Seriously, there are some fine books that didn't make the cut here because there just wasn't room, and there are definitely some well-regarded books that didn't make the cut because I don't really like them.  That also means there are some personal favorites of mine on this list that you may not have heard of.  If that's the case, I promise that I'll reward your trust with a gnarly tale if you give one of them a spin.  Finally, I may have shortchanged some of the titans in the genre (hey there, Stephen King) as I didn't want to overload this list with titles by the same author, though Uncle Stevie did manage to score three direct hits on my list.

The list thus far:

#20) Amok by George Fox (from 1980) 
#19) Manstopper by Douglas Borton (from 1988)
#18) Intensity by Dean Koontz (from 1995)
#17) The Terror by Dan Simmons (from 2007) 
#16) The Snake by John Godey (from 1978)
#15) Son of the Endless Night by John Farris (from 1985)
#14) Rockinghorse by William W. Johnstone (from 1986) 
#13) Vampire$ by John Steakley (from 1990)
#12) Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg (from 1978)
#11) Christine by Stephen King (from 1983)
#10) The Manitou by Graham Masterton (from 1975)
#9) At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft (from 1936)

Top 20 Horror Novels - #8) All Heads Turn When the Hunt Goes By by John Farris (from 1977)

Incredibly strange, incredibly perverse, and incredibly terrifying, All Heads Turn When the Hunt Goes By is my favorite horror novel from John Farris.  I raved about this vastly underrated author when I discussed Son of the Endless Night, but I think it bears repeating: no one is as daring and as twisted as this marvelous talent who delights in yanking the rug out from under his readers.  Shocking twists, startling revelations, and intense depictions of stark and relentless horror are the norm in his novels.  Few of his works are as potent as this bizarre yet inviting saga that is elevated by the author's gift for sensational plotting and his sterling prose.  The opening details the worst wedding of all time and stands as one of the most frightening sequences that Farris has ever written, and things only get darker and stranger as this tale progresses.  A proud southern family is undone by sinister forces with a terrible need for vengeance in this wild and jarring ride.  Voodoo, snakes, and madness are at the forefront throughout, and there is a strong sexual element to the novel that surely pushes the envelope.  Intriguing characters, dangerous situations, and a wealth of demonic carnage keep things lively even as the book grows wilder and more bizarre with every page that is turned.  Indeed, while there are a great many who cherish this tale as much as yours truly, there are also a great many who found the novel too perplexing or too sensational--or both!  I can't recommend All Heads Turn When the Hunt Goes By highly enough, nor can I say enough about John Farris, an extremely talented author who never fails to deliver the goods.

Cult Classics from Dimension X

I did a new Cult Classics from Dimension X today and as always, I had a blast with it.  I'm a big fan of subversive cinema, and a great many of my personal favorites are pictures that never really got the love they deserved.  I know that many of you enjoy these zany flicks as well, and with that in mind I just wanted to share the following links with you so that you can enjoy the other Cult Classics from Dimension X features I have composed for this blog.

Vice Squad

Sssssss

Sorcerer

The Omega Man

Kingdom of the Spiders

Cult Classics from Dimension X: Sssssss (1973)

 Cult Classics from Dimension X: Sssssss (1973)

If a movie revolves around a demented scientist named Dr. Stoner, who is experimenting on his teenage assistant in an attempt to turn him into a snake, it may be a cult classic.  Bonus points are awarded if the mad scientist in question is doing this because he has strange views.  Essentially, he is trying to prepare his species for an impending apocalypse that he believes will destroy humanity but leave snakes unharmed.  Yet, despite the fact that our mad scientist is named Dr. Stoner and he comes armed with a kooky scheme, the reason that Sssssss actually works is the serious and deliberate nature of the piece.  The plot sounds like one of those cheesy horror flicks where the lousy effects and the unintended laughs are plentiful.  Now, there are lousy effects and unintended laughs on display here, but the picture is surprisingly grounded and far less sensational than one might expect.

This is what happens when you take a job for a dude named Dr. Stoner.

 The body count is pretty low and the acting is pretty damn good.  Strother Martin does a great job of bringing levity to a role that most anyone else would have gone overboard with.  His Dr. Stoner is a believable lunatic and not some cackling maniac, and he is very adept with the snakes.  He is totally convincing and this is essential as the film is centered on his bizarre experiments.  Dirk Benedict is a bit wooden as Dr. Stoner's ill-fated assistant, David, but he is also innocent and naive enough to bring genuine sympathy to the part.  Heather Menzies is given most of the big dramatic bits as Dr. Stoner's daughter, Kristina, and she proves thoroughly capable.  The rest of the cast is game and Reb Brown makes his film debut as a macho bully who makes an impact in a meager role.

The snakes are the star attraction here and there are plenty of them.  A variety of species grace the screen, to include cobras, a black mamba, a python, and various others.  The footage with the reptiles is impressive and next to Strother Martin's presence, said footage is the movie's biggest asset.  The effects work that we are treated to as Dr. Stoner works to transform David into a snake is far less impressive, but the acting and the script nearly compensate for these hokey visuals.

The snakes are the star of Sssssss and this guy gets top billing.

At the end of the day, Sssssss is far from a great film, and it may not even be a good one.  Yet it is far superior to the movie most would expect based on the title and the plot--and yes, the fact that we're dealing with a Dr. Stoner.  The acting is surprisingly worthwhile, and the wealth of footage with live snakes and the thoughtful approach that Bernard L. Kowalski took with his direction make for a surprisingly effective cult classic.  If you're a fan of horror films, snakes, and mad scientists, this Sssssss is for you.  Pick up your copy today, and when you do, tell them that Dr. Stoner sent you.

 Sssssss Trivia:

Allegedly, the only shots in the film featuring a fake snake are when Dr. Stoner grabs the king cobra and when the police shoot the king cobra at the end.  It has been stated numerous times that the actors interacted with real snakes (to include 5 king cobras), none of which were defanged, and all of which had full venom capabilities.  Whether this is accurate or not, the cast (Strother Martin in particular) is extremely comfortable with their reptilian co-stars.

In addition to the cast and crew working with live snakes, the mongoose/cobra battle in the closing reel is not a product of special effects.  The final outcome of this throwdown isn't shown, but it certainly appears as though the cobra is going down.  

The scene where Dirk Benedict and Heather Menzies go skinny-dipping featured nudity.  The leaves that conceal the talent's pink parts were added in post-production in a successful bid to avoid an R rating.