Cult Classics from Dimension X: The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

I'm frequently asked to name my favorite zombie film, and despite my affection for Romero (and Dawn of the Dead in particular), my answer is always the same.  It's The Return of the Living Dead, the 1985 ode to punk rock and dead people who won't stay buried that never fails to thrill or amuse me.  Not only is this Dan O'Bannon feature my favorite zombie flick, but it's one of my favorite horror movies in general.  Hell, we can take that one step further, for it's truly one of my favorite movies from any genre.  It's a fast-paced nightmare loaded with black humor and wonderful dialogue, and it benefits from the presence of a talented cast highlighted by Clu Galager, James Karen, and Thom Mathews.  They make the most of the material and the twisted frightfest that ensues is a disgusting descent into madness and terror where no one's brain is safe.

Dan O'Bannon made a nice mark in the horror genre (Alien was his idea and he contributed to a number of horror films over the years) but directing The Return of the Living Dead was surely his finest hour.  The picture moves at a frantic pace, the characters are well-drawn and the performances are top-notch, the effects are massive, the score is killer, and the movie greatly benefits from a perfect ending.  What did he do wrong?  I can't think of anything.  O'Bannon gave us a wildly different take on the zombie sub-genre that can be seen as a bit of a trendsetter in a great many ways.  Long before fast zombies became so popular, the undead were racing around in this gory delight.  Additionally, the diverse and rebellious cast of characters and the lack of a clear-cut hero or heroine are both noteworthy and admirable.  Finally, the humorous aspect of the picture is probably the biggest reason that The Return of the Living Dead is so beloved by so many, and it generates a wealth of laughter despite the fact that it takes itself seriously.  It isn't hokey or silly, it just showcases gifted performers portraying characters who come apart at the seams and rant and snarl at one another as things get progressively worse.  The picture also has a gift for irony.  I think it's a shame that O'Bannon didn't direct more movies, but he knocked this one out of the park.

These punk rock kids just want to have a good time.  Don't we all?

The acting in The Return of the Living Dead is absolutely terrific.  There are so many memorable performances and so many cool characters that it would be hard to pick a favorite.  Thom Mathews and James Karen are fabulous as Freddie and Frank, and their antics never get old.  Clu Galager is on fire as Burt and his various rants are all highlights of the picture.  Miguel Nunez may steal the show as Spider, but there's also Don Calfa as Ernie, the kooky mortician who wears a sidearm and is surprisingly quick on the draw.  The way these characters (and many more) argue with one another, cutting lines short and yelling over top of each other, is riveting and gives the piece an authentic feel that is often lacking from movies where the staging is a bit more deliberate so far as the dialogue is concerned.  There are so many classic exchanges, so many great lines, and so many big moments.  The cool thing is the lack of a singular hero makes this a true ensemble piece, meaning there are plenty of worthwhile bits to go around.  It's a big cast that works very well together, and everyone gets their moment. 

The soundtrack rules!  It's definitely in my Top 10 so far as soundtracks go.

I am such a fan of the soundtrack for this movie that I've devoted an entire blog to it.  You can read it here.  For the purposes of this piece, I just want to acknowledge how important it is to the movie.  The notion of melding a zombie film with punk rock music (and a bunch of punk rock characters) was such a cool decision and it works so well.  Additionally, while many movies have cool soundtracks but fail to make the best use of the great tracks at their disposal, the music is essential to The Return of the Living Dead.  Several of the best scenes would suffer greatly if the songs that accompany them were removed.  It's hard to think of a movie with a better soundtrack that was used to greater effect, but if such a film exists, it's probably one of QT's flicks. 

In closing, I can't recommend this one enough.  I love horror films (you already knew that) and the zombie sub-genre in particular (you already knew that too), and I truly believe that this is the best of the bunch so far as brain-munching shenanigans are concerned.  There's so much to love and it's so damn fresh.  It is gruesome, tense, and frightening, and yet it can be absolutely hilarious at times.  The soundtrack rocks, the direction and the editing are stellar, and the cast is wonderful.  The Return of the Living Dead is the most entertaining and the zaniest film in a long line of horror classics that will not die, the cinema of the undead. 

The Return of The Living Dead Trivia

While it is widely believed that the presence of a pair of pals named Bert and Ernie is a gag, Dan O'Bannon has stated that he was actually oblivious to the existence of the beloved muppets with the same names who reside on Sesame Street.

Ernie (played by Don Calfa) is a nazi in hiding.  His use of German, his musical preferences, the photo of Eva Braun he keeps in his morgue, and even his choice of sidearm are among the clues to his secret identity sprinkled throughout the picture.

When Trash does her striptease, you're not actually seeing full frontal nudity.  Linnea Quigley wore a plastic application for that sequence that concealed her private parts.  

Clu Galager was a last-minute addition to the cast and he apparently wasn't all that easy to get along with.  According to various reports, he was prone to temper tantrums and violent outbursts on set.  There are even claims that the effects team secretly swapped a rubber pipe for the real one he was wielding at one point during the film because his peers were afraid that he would lose his cool while armed with a lead pipe.

While John Russo (co-writer of the original Night of the Living Dead) wrote a script entitled Return of the Living Dead and receives a story credit for this picture, it is believed that very little of his material was used.  O'Bannon thought Russo's script was too serious and too closely resembled Romero's work, so it was re-written as more of a satire.

Some of the cast members portraying zombies actually chowed down on raw calf brains during filming.

Cult Classics from Dimension X

I did a new Cult Classics from Dimension X today and as always, I had a blast with it.  I'm a big fan of subversive cinema, and a great many of my personal favorites are pictures that never really got the love they deserved.  I know that many of you enjoy these zany flicks as well, and with that in mind I just wanted to share the following links with you so that you can enjoy the other Cult Classics from Dimension X features I have composed for this blog.

Vice Squad

Sssssss

Sorcerer

The Omega Man

Kingdom of the Spiders

Cult Classics from Dimension X: Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

I could try, but I'm sure that I couldn't adequately explain why William Shatner's schtick is a such a key attribute of this film's success.  It doesn't make sense.  No one casts their male lead hoping for a wooden performance, a total lack of chemistry with the female lead, and several sequences that generate unintentional laughs.  Yet that's what director John "Bud" Cardos got from the Shat here, and for whatever reason, it only serves to elevate the picture.  This is the epitome of a cult classic, an unheralded gem that shouldn't have worked--and didn't work in many ways--yet somehow found an audience that could appreciate it for what it was.  Somehow, someway, this low-budget "spiders on the rampage" opus wound up being tremendously entertaining in spite of its flaws, of which there are many.  Honestly, some of those flaws, to include the Shat (who masterfully partners his inherent charm with an uneven performance) work to the movie's advantage.

It's also worth noting that Kingdom of the Spiders is one of those rare cheesy movies that has you laughing hysterically until the closing reel, when the picture suddenly starts to work.  In fact, it's the tension and the the fear that the finale provides that cements this one's cult classic status.  Without a powerful conclusion, it would be something akin to a mockery of the genre, but the nifty ending saves the day.  Of course, this is a 70s flick, and the 70s were all about downbeat finishes, so don't actually expect the Shat to save the day.  It's just a rousing finish that punctuates a sub-par motion picture, elevating it to something that vaguely resembles greatness.

Tiffany Bolling (Diane Ashley) pretends not to notice that the hat is wearing the Shat
while Woody Strode (Walter Colby) and Altovise Davis (Birch Colby) look on.

No, Birch--that's a terrible idea!

Most of the drama in this spider-filled shocker comes courtesy of the incredible Woody Strode and Altovise Davis as Walter Colby and his wife, Birch Colby.  Seriously, an alternate title for this film could have been The Woeful Saga of the Colby Farm, for theirs is a tale of misery.  You see, the spiders that menace our heroes make their presence known by munching on Walt's prize calf, who was destined to win a big prize at the upcoming fair.  It's a crushing blow, but Walter soldiers on so that he can later be eaten by spiders while driving around in his trusty pickup.  Poor Birch is understandably distraught, and is only beginning to grieve when she is devoured by spiders within her home. 

It's up to Shatner as country vet Rack Hansen and Tiffany Bolling as a lovely expert on spiders named Diane Ashley to save the day.  Their efforts are complicated by Rack's hilarious attempts to seduce his lovely sidekick.  The meddling mayor also presents problems along the way.  No, Rack's predatory attempts at seduction aren't supposed to be comical.  Yes, there's a meddling mayor.  Most of these "Man vs. Nature" flicks aspire to be Jaws, and as such there is usually a clueless and greedy authority figure who seeks to endanger everyone he is supposed to serve.  Roy Engel absolutely slays me as Mayor Connors, a ludicrous caricature who doesn't have time for killer spiders and the death of his constituents because he is too worried about the fair.  His lines are bad enough, but his delivery is so phenomenally awful that his small part in Kingdom of the Spiders quickly becomes comedic gold.

You haven't seen acting until you've seen the Shat grieve.

The only thing better than the mayor's antics and Shatner's awe-inspiring lack of chemistry with Bolling are the scenes that require the Shat to emote.  Rack Hansen is a man who is presented with a wealth of conflict and heartache, so Shatner is thereby required to grieve, rage, and dig deep so that he can keep on fighting the good fight.  Truthfully, though I love the Shat and greatly enjoy his presence in this picture, he's a lot better at that spoken-word music that he does.  If you can watch the first 60 minutes of Kingdom of the Spiders without laughing, I don't want to know you.  Movies that are so bad that they're good don't come any worse (and thereby better) than this one, and it's a laugh-riot all the way up until that riveting conclusion when the picture mysteriously finds its groove. 

The score is largely assembled from stock music and the editing is a bit clunky, but director John Cardos manages to string viewers along until the handful of characters that remain gather for their last stand in that worthwhile finish.  If it sounds like I'm totally bashing this movie, I promise that isn't the case.  I love it.  It's terrible in so many ways, but it's damn entertaining, and I do think that the ending kicks ass.  Additionally, I should point out that people who are deathly afraid of spiders may not find it quite as hilarious as I do, and some seem to think it's a fine film.  Hell, the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films nominated it for their Best Horror Film award in 1977, though it lost to The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane.  I can't call it one of the best horror films that I've ever seen, but I'm certainly more than willing to rank Kingdom of the Spiders as one of my favorite Cult Classics from Dimension X.

Best Horror Film?  I think not.
This dude's screams, though--if there was an award for
Best Screaming Performance, he would have taken that bad boy home.

Trivia

There is no way this film would be made today.  The making of Kingdom of the Spiders was essentially a tarantula holocaust.  Real tarantulas were used throughout the making of the film, and this means that a multitude of them were trampled underfoot, run over by vehicles, and otherwise squashed during production.

$50,000 of the film's budget (a big slice of the pie, to be sure) went to the purchase of live tarantulas.

As a player for the Los Angeles Rams, actor Woody Strode was one of the first athletes to break the color barrier in the NFL.

Rumors of a sequel have popped up on several occasions.  There were even reports in the late 80s that not only would Shatner return as the lead, but he was also going to direct the picture.

Marcy Lafferty plays Willam Shatner's sister-in-law in the movie.  When Kingdom of the Spiders was filmed, Shatner and Lafferty were actually husband and wife.

Though there were rubber spiders in the mix, the actors frequently interacted with live tarantulas.  Cast and crew members reported being bit by these arachnids on several occasions.  As you watch the movie, there certainly seem to be moments where performers pretending to be attacked by the spiders suffer a legitimate bite.