Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #1) The Way of the Gun (finale)

In this Top 5, I've been ranking my favorite movie shootouts for you.  This comes with a disclaimer: I'm excluding war films because they don't really seem to fit with what I'm going for.  Maybe I'll do a Top 5 Combat Scenes one day to break them down.  As always, I welcome your thoughts on my selections, and I'm equally interested in hearing about your choices, so feel free to comment and share your take.

This list started with John Wick (the Red Circle) at #5, and since then I've listed The Wild Bunch (finale) at #4, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (finale) at #3, and Heat (downtown L.A.) at #2.  Now, it's time to discuss my choice for the top spot on this list, a cult classic that is near and dear to my heart.  

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #1) The Way of the Gun (finale)

To say that I greatly enjoy The Way of the Gun would be a bit of an understatement.  If I were to list my favorite movies, it may just crack that Top 5, and it would surely be in my Top 10.  While there are many things I enjoy about the picture, the exciting and yet incredibly grim shootout that brings it to a close has to be considered its strongest asset.  As soon as I decided to put this list together, I knew that I couldn't put anything else at the very top.  To do otherwise would be disingenuous, and those who know me well will tell you that I do my best to keep it real.

While the director of The Way of the Gun, Christopher McQuarrie, isn't as much of a household name as he probably should be, critics and audiences have been much kinder to his recent work with Tom Cruise than they were to his offbeat directorial debut.  This outing came about after his script for The Usual Suspects earned him broad acclaim, and I'm not sure that a quirky yet downbeat shoot 'em up served with a healthy dose of basic criminal philosophy is what anyone expected for his first feature film.  In truth, when I watched it during its theatrical run in 2000, the final product varied greatly from my expectations.  However, since I had a blast with the picture, I never held that against it. 

Like most of the films to make this Top 5, this one combines quality direction with some terrific acting.  McQuarrie got the best performance of Ryan Phillippe's life out of him in the role of Parker, a tough guy with a penchant for mouthing off, while the one and only Benecio Del Toro is sublime as his icy counterpart, Longbaugh.  These are not likable characters, and the big gunfight that they are steadily marching toward throughout the film doesn't provide them with a likable outcome.  Oh yeah, and the weary but unwavering "bag men" who our leads square off against in this blood-soaked finale are led by none other than James Caan.

Whether the conclusion is likable or not, it is most definitely a fitting way to close out this particular film, with the riveting shootout standing as a damn-near perfect metaphor for the film as a whole.  Parker and Longbaugh are both savvy and good, and we may not like the code they live by, but we have to admire them a bit for their efforts.  Unfortunately, when they make their big play, it becomes obvious that they're just not good enough.  Fortunately, their code allows them to perish under these circumstances with their honor intact.  Hell, they went for it all and gave it their very best--and they almost pulled it off.  Like the saying goes, there's no shame in trying . . .

The cinematography is a wonderful throwback to the somber hues and the brilliant splashes of blood that made the work of directors like Leone and Peckinpah so impressive to behold.  In a way, my preference for these legends (and the inclusion of some of their best work on this list) may help to explain my fondness for this gritty sleeper.  The choreography is also excellent, with McQuarrie's brother (a former Navy Seal) giving the proceedings a serious boost in the way of technical prowess.  The gun protocol and combat tactics on display here are just as important to the overall effectiveness of the showdown as the direction and the acting.  Seriously, the final shootout in The Way of the Gun probably features more reloads than you're apt to see if you go all in for a marathon of The Cannon Group's greatest hits, and Parker and Longbaugh could have put together one hell of a clinic for properly clearing a room.

It's all a bit somber and a bit gory, and it is also quite nihilistic, but for my money, there is no finer shootout in the history of the cinema than the gloomy but painstakingly authentic* conclusion to The Way of the Gun.

*There is one gag during the big gunfight at the end where the film abandons all of the realism it has worked so hard to present and clearly lampoons a typical action film's disregard for such considerations, and this knowing wink is yet another reason I love this movie so much.

. . .

Well, there you have it.  One recent hit, three indisputable masterpieces, and one cult classic to rule them all.  If you're a fellow cinephile and you too enjoy the occasional movie shootout, do share your thoughts.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #2) Heat (downtown L.A.)

In this Top 5, I'm ranking my favorite movie shootouts for you.  Many of my choices are classics that will be hard to argue, but I'm certain that my choice for #1 will ruffle some feathers.  Oh well.  I should also note that I'm excluding war films because they don't really seem to fit with what I'm going for here.  Maybe I'll do a Top 5 Combat Scenes one day to atone for that.  As always, I welcome your thoughts on my selections, and I'm equally interested in hearing about your choices, so feel free to drop a comment and give me your take.

So far, I have ranked John Wick (the Red Circle) at #5, The Wild Bunch (finale) at #4, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (finale) at #3.  Now, we're really turning up the heat (forgive me) with the most bullet-laden gunfight to make my list.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #2) Heat (downtown L.A.)

Michael Mann is a superb filmmaker who has directed some fantastic movies, and high energy action setpieces are one of his specialties.  Heat is one of his best movies, and I don't think there's any question that the most thrilling sequence that he has ever put together is this film's high-octane shootout, which takes place in downtown L.A. during the aftermath of a high stakes robbery.

Much like The Wild Bunch, this shootout represents a dynamic pairing between a visionary director and an impeccable cast.  This time out, Robert DeNiro, Val Kilmer, and Tom Sizemore are among the professional crooks exchanging rounds with an elite task force that includes Al Pacino, Ted Levine, and Wes Studi, among others.  It's a great ensemble and they do a fantastic job of embracing the required physicality and drama of this bloody battle in the streets.

I'm not sure how many shots are fired, and I'm not sure how many innocent bystanders are gunned down, but I am certain that no other shootout on this list boasts as many flying bullets or casualties.  It's a sprawling affair that covers several blocks and consistently ratchets up the intensity, yet it's a tribute to the cast and crew that it is easy to follow and never stoops to masking lapses in clarity with the hyper-kinetic edits that have become prevalent in more recent action flicks.

This is a well-staged gunfight that does its best to remain plausible with the various combatants utilizing advanced tactics and frequently reloading.  Rambo can fire 1,000 bullets from a weapon that has a maximum capacity of 200 rounds, but these guys can't.  They utilize cover, reload when necessary, and as a result, this gripping shootout rocks.  Such a sequence could have been quite a farce in the wrong hands, but it I think it works to perfection with Michael Mann at the helm.

It should also be noted that this setpiece is a tremendous asset to the film itself.  There are some major deaths, and as a whole the shootout serves as a tremendous blowoff for all of the incredible tension that Mann's slick thriller has been building up since the opening reel.  As I said before, Heat is a terrific movie and this is truly an action sequence for the ages--and I'm not sure that either of those statements would hold true if either the overall composition of the piece or the potent gunfight that elevates the proceedings fell short. 

. . .

Well, we're down to #1, and while I have frequently hailed my final pick as the best gunfight ever captured on film, it comes from a cult classic and not a feature with the same pedigree as the rest of my choices for this list.  With that in mind, I imagine that it will be a bit more controversial, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #3) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (finale)

Okay, so here's the drill: in this Top 5, I'm ranking my favorite movie shootouts for you.  Many of the films set to make this list are classics that will be hard to argue, but I have no doubt that my choice for the top spot on this list will not sit well with many.  Oh well, I call them like I see them--and in this case, I'm 100% convinced that I'm right.  Also, I should point out that I'm excluding war films because they don't really seem to fit with what I'm going for here.  Maybe I'll do a Top 5 Combat Scenes one day to atone for that.  As always, I welcome your thoughts on my selections, and I'm equally interested in hearing about your choices, so feel free to drop a comment and give me your take.

 Thus far, we have John Wick (the Red Circle) at #5 and The Wild Bunch (finale) at #4.  Today, we're going with the very epitome of an exercise in style over substance at #3, and as such it depends more on landmark director Sergio Leone’s vision and flair and less on choreography and staging.  In fact, this is easily the simplest gunfight to make my list, and it features the fewest players.  Yet, as I noted a moment ago, this is an exercise in style, . . . and what an exercise in style it has proven to be. 

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #3) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (finale)

Clint Eastwood is a true titan of the cinema, yet he was basically just some up-and-comer with a lean physique prior to his work with Leone.  I’m not sure that he or anyone else realized just how big of an impact those so-called spaghetti westerns would have on the film industry, but Leone’s daring juxtapositions and his grandeur would usher in a whole new era for one of Hollywood’s most beloved genres.  It is entirely possible that no western has had as much impact or cultural significance as The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and the shootout that brings this masterpiece to an end remains thoroughly enchanting.

As Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and Eli Wallach square off in a remote cemetery with a fortune in gold on the line, the sprawling film gives way to an operatic pairing of sight and sound.  Ennio Morricone’s monumental score perfectly captures the tension as Leone’s camera carries us through a series of extreme close-ups deftly interwoven with vivid wide shots.  Steely gazes give way to fingertips that dance above the weapons that will soon determine who winds up dead and who winds up with the gold.  The three men involved in this exhilarating standoff have each worked valiantly and suffered greatly to arrive at this moment, and Leone wrings every drop of suspense that he can out of the impending gunfire.

So deft is his touch and so perfectly suited to this wild reinvention of the western genre are the cast and Morricone’s score that the sequence remains nothing short of spellbinding to this very day.  Once the first weapon is drawn and the shots ring out, the shootout concludes in the blink of an eye, but that only underscores the power and scope of this grand finale.  Just as Leone used a daring collage of imagery and Morricone’s haunting score to perfectly capture the anticipation of this duel, he utilized brutal concision to convey the finality and brevity of the resolution to this grand yet finite conflict with the same precision and effectiveness.

Yes, this one is all about style, and it’s truly the build-up that makes this gunfight a classic, but that doesn’t impact its standing in the legacy of the cinema.  I have no qualms about featuring the poetic and visually stirring climax of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly on my list, and I’m sure that those enjoy a great film will second that.  

. . .

Those readers who are left wanting after this revelation should find more to their liking when my next selection arrives courtesy of a far higher body count and enough firepower to make Rambo take cover.  Look out, L.A.--the heat is on when I unveil my choice for #2 on this list.

Also, those who enjoyed this piece may want to see where I ranked The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly when I did my Top 5 Clint Eastwood Movies a while back.  Here's a hint: it's #1 with a bullet!

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #4) The Wild Bunch (finale)

With this Top 5, I'm breaking down my favorite movie shootouts for you.  Many of the films set to make this list are classics that will be hard to argue, but I have no doubt that my choice for the top spot on this list will not sit well with many.  Also, I should point out that I'm excluding war films from this Top 5.  I may revisit them with a Top 5 Combat Scenes at some point or something of that ilk, but they didn't really seem to fit with what I'm going for here.  As always, I welcome your thoughts on my selections, and I'm equally interested in hearing about your choices, so feel free to drop a comment and give me your take.

Yesterday, I started things off with John Wick (the Red Circle) at #5, and while that was a recent gem I am going all the way back to 1969 for my next selection.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #4) The Wild Bunch (finale)

When you take legendary director Sam Peckinpah's knack for turning violence and machismo into a ballet of bullets and bloodshed, it should come as no surprise that one of his movies made it onto this list.  Additionally, while many of his pictures contain riveting gunfights, I think that this grand finale is Sam's greatest achievement.  Honestly, I consider the grim conclusion to The Wild Bunch to be among the best endings ever, and this rousing shootout where four men challenge an entire army is surely worthy of the #4 spot here.

The biggest attribute that this particular shootout boasts aside from Peckinpah in the director's chair is the amazing cast.  William Holden was a true leading man, and this scene allows him to march into battle with Ernest Borgnine, Ben Johnson, and Warren Oates at his side.  This rugged band of outlaws is not comprised of heroes, yet the final reel of this classic western finds the gang taking a valiant stand that will cost them their lives.  They do this because they value loyalty more than gold, and the scene where they march toward their inevitable demise perfectly sets the stage for the carnage to come.  

The violence that ensues is bold, stirring, and incredibly gruesome.  Peckinpah shot some great action bits during his lengthy career, but nothing quite like this.  The cinematography is stellar, the effects are terrific, and the performances elevate this orgy of bloodshed into the realm of classic cinema.  It is all a bit crude, but what else should we expect from The Wild Bunch?  

So brazen is this gory battle that it teeters on the brink of absurdity, but the harsh themes and the spectacular craftsmanship give it enough resonance to remain potent.  In many ways, this explosive firefight is difficult to classify, as it is clearly exciting and perversely entertaining while it is also gritty and nihilistic to such an extent that you may feel a little dirty after watching it.  I find it to be one of the most incredible climaxes ever filmed, and it is a perfect way to wrap up this tale of hard men who have become obsolete and have little to live for aside from their value to one another.  In fairness, The Wild Bunch may warrant a higher spot on this Top 5, but I had to make some difficult decisions when I put this one together.

. . .

Tomorrow, we turn the clock back another 3 years to 1966 to discuss the next shootout to make the cut.   In the meantime, while The Wild Bunch may be Peckinpah's best motion picture, you can check out my Short Attention Span Review of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia to learn more about my favorite film from this visionary director.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #5) John Wick (the Red Circle)

I'm ready to tee off another Top 5, and this time I'm going to break down my favorite movie shootouts for you.  Many of the films set to make this list are classics that will be hard to argue, but there will also be some contention.  I have no doubt that my choice for the #1 spot on this list will not sit well with many, but it's an easy call as far as I'm concerned.  Additionally, I do want to point out that I'm excluding war films from this Top 5.  I may revisit them with a Top 5 Combat Scenes at some point or something of that ilk, but they didn't really seem to fit with what I'm going for here.  As always, I welcome your thoughts on my selections, and I'm equally interested in hearing about your choices, so feel free to drop a comment and give me your take.

I'm going to get things started with my choice for the #5 spot on this list, and this one goes to the new bloods.

Top 5 Movie Shootouts: #5) John Wick (the Red Circle)

I'm a big Keanu Reeves fan.  I have lots of love for so many of his movies, going all the way back to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.  I consider Point Break to be a classic so far as guilty pleasures go, and I like The Matrix as much as anyone.  Hell, I have even gone to bat for Keanu's work in Francis Ford Coppola's epic take on Dracula, and that performance is reviled by most everyone for reasons I fail to comprehend.  One of Keanu's most surprising hits arrived in 2014, when John Wick seemingly came out of nowhere and reminded everyone that Reeves is a true cinema badass.

John Wick is one hell of a thrill ride, with the highlight being a spectacular shootout at a club called the Red Circle.  This dazzling setpiece showcases some killer choreography and clearly displays Keanu at his very best.  For those who don't know, this dude is all about training for his roles and bringing as much legitimate action to the proceedings as possible.  Whether we're talking about learning martial arts or tearing up the shooting range with a variety of guns, the man is dedicated.  In scenes like this, it shows up on the screen in a big way.

In addition to riddling bad guys with bullets, this shootout gets some serious bonus points for mixing in a lot of killer martial arts.  Of particular note is the presence of Daniel Bernhardt as a serious rival who actually gets the better of Wick as this wicked shootout comes to an end.  Bernhardt previously squared off against Reeves in The Matrix Reloaded and provides a credible threat, and that greatly amps up the intensity of this thrilling sequence.

I greatly enjoyed John Wick and it succeeded largely because of Keanu's presence and the amazing stunt work.  While the whole movie is loaded with excitement, it's the shootout at the Red Circle that really puts it over the top, and I find it worthy of inclusion on this list.  In fact, I seriously debated ranking it higher, but the #5 spot will have to do.

. . .

Stay tuned, peeps--there are some classic movies coming up on this list, as well as a cult classic and a personal favorite at #1 that will have my coolest readers nodding their heads in agreement while everyone else wonders if I've gone cuckoo*.

*Pretty sure that happened sometime during the 80s.  Yes, I was only a child then, but it was the 80s.

Short Attention Span Review: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Short Attention Span Review: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Only Sam Raimi could make a picture like Drag Me to Hell.  This bold and fast-paced horror movie boasts several great scares, some truly terrifying content, and the sort of gore that Lucio Fulci was famous for--and yet it is also brimming with big laughs and excitement.  Despite the utterly horrifying concept and several totally disgusting sequences, this isn't the type of horror flick that viewers should earn a merit badge for enduring.  Rather, it's incredibly fun, with a cartoonish tone and several winning performances that somehow complement all the disturbing elements.  It represents Raimi at his very best, and all of his staples are in play, most notably the fluid camera work that makes his films so invigorating and the physical and emotional turmoil that his main characters are subjected to.  Alison Lohman is terrific in the lead role, and proves just as capable of taking a beating, screaming, and getting her hands dirty as Raimi's leading man of choice, Bruce Campbell.  Justin Long does a nice job with a decent part that isn't as integral to the proceedings as one might wish until the haunting last frame, which solidifies Drag Me to Hell as one of the most daring big budget horror films to come down the pipeline.  I guarantee you that there were studio execs who desperately wanted to see a different conclusion, but this is Raimi's vision through and through.  While it may not be quite as fun as his Evil Dead trilogy and the gut-wrenching conclusion is telegraphed, it is hard to find fault with this outrageous shocker that packs a serious punch.

Final Grade: A-

Drag Me to Hell is a true smorgasbord--it offers thrills, chills, chuckles, and a wealth of excitement.

Short Attention Span Review: Videodrome (1983)

Short Attention Span Review: Videodrome (1983)

Videodrome is probably body horror maestro David Cronenberg's most bizarre film, and that is surely a noteworthy achievement.  In addition to featuring some of his most disgusting imagery, it is also one of his most perplexing motion pictures.  At the same time, it has an inexplicable appeal that keeps the viewer glued to the screen.  James Woods is perfectly cast as Max Renn, a sleazy cable programmer looking for a show that will shock audiences enough to put his meager station on the map.  He finds "Videodrome" and becomes obsessed with the twisted program even as this addiction triggers violent hallucinations that send his life into a downward spiral.  Debbie Harry is also pretty damn sublime as his masochistic love interest who is equally drawn to the show.  I've always felt that there's an eerie parallel between the way this gross mindbender entrances the viewer and the story itself, which depicts Max losing his ability to tell the difference between reality and fantasy as his fascination with the perverse "Videodrome" program grows.  Cronenberg's frequent collaborator Howard Shore provides a worthy score and Rick Baker's vintage effects work is still impressive to behold.  Most importantly, the central theme of the picture (modern society's dependence upon and vicarious living through media and the dangers thereof) is just as relevant today as it was back in 1983--if not more so.  The ending is decidedly grim, but stands as the perfect way to punctuate this diabolical affair that is every bit as compelling as it is grotesque.  I'm a big fan of Cronenberg's work, and while I can't put this one up there with The Fly, it's probably my second favorite film that he directed.

Final Grade: A

This is a pretty kooky image--and it's not even one of the weird parts.  True story: Videodrome is strange as hell.

Short Attention Span Review: The Accountant (2016)

Short Attention Span Review: The Accountant (2016)

When Ben Affleck first hit my radar with witty fare like Good Will Hunting and his work with one Kevin Smith, I thought the dude was the bee's knees.  Then he became straight up dookie when he somehow morphed into Hollywood royalty (hello, Bennifer) and starred in a number of vapid flops that were as expensive as they were lackluster.  Like many, I had pretty much written the guy off, and then he hit us with his directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, in 2007 and followed that up with The Town and Argo, films that he directed and starred in.  I thought each of those films were terrific (and each one seemed to improve upon the last one) and I've enjoyed a lot of his recent acting gigs for other directors as well, to include his work as Batman for Zack Snyder.  The Accountant is his latest big winner in my eyes, and it showcases one of his best performances to date in a demanding part that is both physical and brainy with a wealth of complexity thrown in for good measure.  He is ably supported by a quality cast that includes Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, Jon Bernthal, Jeffrey Tambor, Jean Smart, and John Lithgow, among others, and director Gavin O'Connor makes the most of everyone's talents.  The Accountant is a joy to watch, but it weaves a complicated web and around the halfway point the viewer is apt to wonder how in the hell the picture is going to tie all these disparate threads together.  Fortunately, while some might find a few of the plot mechanisms to be a bit too convenient, I was thoroughly satisfied with the way everything came together in a gripping final reel.  The film is heavy on drama and suspense, and a bit light on action, though the action it depicts is both brutally effective and highly entertaining.  I would have to rate The Accountant as one of the most complete movies from 2016 that I have enjoyed, and I think it will appeal to lots of different audiences given its considerable depth and variety.

Final Grade: A

Ben Affleck anchors this unique drama/thriller hybrid that weaves a complicated web but manages to tie everything together in the riveting climax.

Short Attention Span Review: The Hunted (1995)

Short Attention Span Review: The Hunted (1995)

I know what you're thinking: while he made some cheesy but entertaining movies, Highlander is the only Christopher Lambert vessel that is truly worth watching.  Well, thanks to this woefully underrated exception to that rule, I must inform you that you are wrong.  In truth, while Lambert is solid here and is definitely the star of the piece, it's like Highlander all over again in that he is upstaged at every turn.  Joan Chen brings incredible depth to a small but integral part as Lambert's doomed love interest, while John Lone is every bit as potent here as he was in Michael Cimino's Year of the Dragon as the film's villain, Kinjo.  Most importantly, Yoshio Harada commands the screen as the turbulent Takeda.  This mighty samurai is ultimately a good man and one hell of a warrior, but his fanatical devotion to tradition and his need for combat yield a well-rounded and ultimately puzzling hero who isn't all that likable at times.  The score composed by Kodo is a personal favorite and the direction from J. F. Lawton (working from his own script) is crisp and immersive.  The story revolves around an American who stumbles into a war between rival ninja and samurai clans, and the action setpieces are incredible to behold.  Of particular note is an extremely bloody battle that unfolds on a bullet train and establishes Takeda as an ultimate badass.  This is probably a guilty pleasure kind of show, but I honestly can't identify any major flaws--as action films go, I think it's a shame that more people don't appreciate The Hunted.  Surely anyone who digs the idea of seeing ninjas and samurai throw down should give this one a watch, and anyone who yearns to see Lambert shine in a role that doesn't require him to say "There can be only one" will also have a blast with this unheralded gem from 1995.

Final Grade: B

Christopher Lambert is on point as the American caught in the middle of a timeless showdown, and John Lone is even better as the villainous Kinjo, but Yoshio Harada runs away with this one as the mighty Takeda.

Short Attention Span Review: The Shallows (2016)

Short Attention Span Review: The Shallows (2016)

There are two basic principles to consider when making a horror film with a shark in it: 

1) The good news is that such an endeavor remains appealing to the movie-going public courtesy of Jaws and that picture's lasting impact on the cinematic landscape. 

2) The bad news is that any movie with a shark in it will ultimately be compared to Jaws, which is absolutely one of the best movies ever made.

So, with that in mind, I should start here by noting that The Shallows is surely no Jaws, but that didn't really bother me as it's still a solid feature film--and it it doesn't really intend to be the next Jaws.  That 1975 mega-hit (which gave us the summer blockbuster) is a stunning ensemble piece that could adequately be described as an epic, while The Shallows is a lean thrill ride that takes place in one gorgeous seaside setting and rests entirely upon Blake Lively's shoulders.  Seriously, her most important co-star is a seagull, and at a scant 87 minutes The Shallows is clearly angling for something other than epic status.  Instead of giving us a genuine masterpiece, Director Jaume Collet-Serra has served up a great-looking survival yarn that moves quickly and continually ratchets up the suspense by constantly making things harder and harder for our quick-witted and likable protagonist.  I've never seen Lively get an opportunity to do so much, and she does a great job here in a role that requires athleticism, grit, and the ability to convey a wealth of emotions.  As Nancy, she gives The Shallows an emotional center  and a believable heroine who keeps the viewer enthralled even when there's a bit too much CGI and a few too many lapses in plausibility in play to elevate an otherwise straight-laced thriller to legendary status.  In the end, The Shallows emerges as a short thriller packed with chills and excitement, and it may be the best movie with a shark in it that isn't Jaws.  Truthfully, that's probably exactly what it was intended to be.

Final Grade: B-

The Shallows is is a taut little chiller that relies entirely upon Blake Lively to tell a stripped-down tale of survival; she proves to be up to the challenge and keeps the viewer invested in her character's daunting struggle from start to finish.

Short Attention Span Review: In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

Short Attention Span Review: In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

John Carpenter is my favorite director and I have a powerful affection for his work, so there may be some bias at work here, but I think most horror fans would agree that In the Mouth of Madness is a real winner.  It's a decidedly strange horror film with a loose grip on reality, but it is anchored by genre stalwart Sam Neill in a grounded performance that ranks among his very best.  It's his steady presence that keeps us locked in even as the picture that starts as something of a detective yarn descends into cryptic Lovecraftian terror of the highest order.  I think it is safe to say that by the time it reaches a fabulous conclusion, what began as a fairly straightforward venture in terror has become one of the most erratic journeys into the macabre out there.  Carpenter may not have been at his peak here, but he was damn close, and one of his trademark scores gives In the Mouth of Madness a throbbing pulse.  Neill is the star and he is the movie's greatest strength, but he is ably supported by a fine cast that includes Jurgen Prochnow at his most nefarious, Julie Carmen at her most appealing (Spoiler Alert: by the end of this one we will see her at her most unappealing), and there's even a quality cameo featuring the great Charlton Heston.  The picture is all about unnerving the audience, but Carpenter sprinkles in a little humor along the way, and as is the case with most of this director's work, the pace never relents.  Finally, I will reiterate that I absolutely treasure the ending.  In closing, In the Mouth of Madness may not be one of my Top 5 John Carpenter Movies, but it's still a top-notch frightfest that I greatly enjoy.

Final Grade: A

Fellow Carpenter fans should also scope out my Top 5 Main Themes from John Carpenter Movies and my Short Attention Span Review for Prince of Darkness.

There's a lot to like about this mind-bending chiller, but Sam Neill's killer performance is easily its biggest asset.

Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Short Attention Span Review: The Witch (2015)

Disclaimer: Witches give me the willies.  Keep that in mind as you read this review, for The Witch is most certainly the type of film that will captivate many while others will not be entranced in the slightest.  The period setting is perfectly captured and will enrich the experience for some, while others will find such detail to be tedious and the authentic puritan dialogue will be equally hit and miss.  The ominous score and the mounting dread should be impossible to ignore for any reasonable viewer, though the shape of the tale and the eventual outcome will leave many totally unsatisfied.  As for me, I'm not ashamed to admit that The Witch scared the shit out of me, and I found the conclusion to be nothing short of horrific.  The primal depiction of witchcraft and the subtlety with which evil poisons the proceedings slowly ensnared me, and by the time the credits rolled I couldn't help but feel that I had become trapped in a nightmare of the highest order.  In many ways, The Witch is a tough watch, and there is little reward for the audience in the absence of comic relief, thrills, or hope.  Writer and director Robert Eggers is clearly a force to be reckoned with, and Anya Taylor-Joy stands out in a tight ensemble piece where everyone delivers the goods.  Chilling, provocative yet reserved, and utterly unique, The Witch pulls off a rare feat in that it is both incredibly understated and incredibly frightening. 

Final Grade: A+

An intense and captivating picture that surely falls within the "love it or leave it" spectrum, The Witch scared the piss out of me.

Short Attention Span Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Short Attention Span Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a minor classic that benefits largely from the raw look and feel of the piece, giving it an authenticity that makes it seem like the closest thing to a snuff film you're apt to find on Netflix.  As such, it isn't a picture I like to revisit, and most of the entries in this ongoing series are equally grim affairs that fall well short of the high water mark Tobe Hooper set with the original in 1974.  Hooper himself only revisited the material as a director with this 1986 sequel.  While many were completely turned off by its goofy tone and flamboyant characters at the time it was released, it has earned quite a reputation as a cult classic and remains a personal favorite of mine.  Unlike most sequels, the body count doesn't grow exponentially, and in fact The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 probably sports one of the lowest body counts that you're apt to find in a gory slasher flick.  Even if there aren't bodies piling up on the screen, there is an abundance of blood and guts on display, and Tom Savini's practical effects are amazing.  The surreal set design is just as impressive, and the characters are mostly caricatures.  The acting fits the bizarro tone nicely, with Bill Moseley and Dennis Hopper competing to see who can give the most ridiculous performance in the picture.  Moseley is equal parts hilarious and disgusting as the villainous Chop-Top, while Hopper plays Lieutenant Lefty Enright, a Texas Ranger who is both a righteous avenger and a bloodthirsty lunatic who may just be crazier than Leatherface.  In many ways, these sensational elements join together to make The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 a cartoonish chiller, and while it's easy enough to see how that could rub many people the wrong way, I love it.  In closing, I should also note that the score is fabulous, the ending is killer, and all the dark humor in play makes this a bizarre treat that is worth revisiting often.     

Final Grade: A

The MVP of this gonzo sequel has to be Bill Moseley, whose Chop-Top is a grotesque nutjob who is just  as amusing as he is disgusting.

Short Attention Span Review: Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Short Attention Span Review: Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Max Landis did something new and interesting with his script for Victor Frankenstein and director Paul McGuigan gave the picture a great look, but the two leads (James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe) are really what make this one click.  Narrowing the focus for this take on the classic story to Victor and Igor (with Igor taking center stage) could have been disastrous, but the witty script, the bold visuals, and a pair of quality performances make this one of the most entertaining Frankenstein pictures out there.  The film is told largely from Igor's perspective and Radcliffe is fine in this role, but it is safe to say that McAvoy's bold scientist with a hunger for forbidden fruit dominates the proceedings.  Andrew Scott also makes quite an impact as a devout detective who is determined to thwart Frankenstein's devilish dealings with science, and Charles Dance is commanding in an impressive cameo.  Also impressive in what amounts to little more than a cameo is Frankenstein's creature, and while he only appears briefly in the closing reel, the design in play and the effects that bring this monstrosity to life are both incredible to behold.  That finale was also quite a spectacle, and surely no other Frankenstein film can offer up such an action-packed conclusion.  While I can be a bit of a purist when it comes to adapting material like this, I actually found Victor Frankenstein to be one of the most rewarding spins on the timeless mythos that I have beheld, and I don't think there are many versions of this tale that I'm unfamiliar with.  It's a bit less frightening than the standard approach, but far more entertaining--and while it makes drastic alterations to Mary Shelley's story, Victor is basically the same character and the big questions regarding life and death that fuel his descent into madness are well-preserved.  Those questions are the backbone of the Frankenstein legacy, and this film stands as proof that they are still potent enough to anchor a thrilling horror opus.

Final Grade: A-

This spin on the classic tale is centered on the relationship between Victor and Igor, and stars James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe work hard to make this fresh approach an exciting success.

Short Attention Span Review: The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

Short Attention Span Review: The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

Two utterly magnificent things happened in 1978: I was born and Chang Cheh gave us The Five Deadly Venoms, which may just be the coolest martial arts film of all time.  Bruce Lee's catalog aside, this is undoubtedly the definitive karate flick, and it will also appeal to fans of the horror genre--and perhaps even fans of superhero movies.  The Shaw Brothers gave us an abundance of kung fu gems marked by great sets and even better choreography, and I think most fans will agree that The Five Deadly Venoms was their best offering.  Additionally, no one was better suited to helm these bodacious flicks than Chang Cheh, and this is surely his finest hour.  This is also the film that gave us the Venom Mob (Shen Chiang, Chien Sun, Phillip Chung-Fung Kwok, Meng Lo, Pai Wei, and Feng Lu), and while each of these considerable talents would shine in other pictures, the whole gang would never join forces again in a single picture--and I think this one may represent each performer's best work with the exception of Shen Chiang.  He is the lead here and he's absolutely terrific, but I rank his work in Crippled Avengers a little higher.  The groovy plot revolves around a master who has trained the fearsome Venoms of the title in five distinct styles, each of which comes equipped with something akin to a super power.  These warriors are the Toad, the Lizard, the Centipede, the Scorpion, and the Snake.  They train under this master (Dick Wei) in masks, and thus their identities are kept a secret.  Later, the master trains a new student, Yang Tieh (Shen Chiang), and while he is not a master of any of the five styles, he understands a little of each.  As the master nears his end, he begins to fear that his five original pupils may be too dangerous for this world, so he sends young Yang Tieh to try and figure out who the Venoms are, determine if they are good men or bad men, and eliminate any who are using their skills for nefarious purposes.  This sets the stage for a supremely badass film brimming with secret identities, desperate alliances, epic brawls, and a nifty twist or two to keep everyone on their toes.  Of course, the highlights of the movie are the bloody showdowns, but there's also an abundance of gore on display and I love the sinister mood that permeates the piece.  Finally, The Five Deadly Venoms concludes with a five star showdown where all bets are off, and this amazing setpiece showcasing all of the characters who have yet to perish is easily the most stupendous final reel in the history of martial arts cinema outside of Enter the Dragon.

Final Grade: A+

Bruce Lee's catalog aside, The Five Deadly Venoms is the ultimate karate flick.  As such, it is the best offering from the Shaw Brothers, who gave us a wealth of kung fu treachery to enjoy.

Short Attention Span Review: Anaconda (1997)

Short Attention Span Review: Anaconda (1997)

Anaconda is a beautifully shot horror thriller that suffers from mediocre CGI effects and a plot that is laden with cliches, but the picture also comes equipped with an ace tucked away in its sleeve.  That ace is actor John Voight, whose wildly over-the-top performance consistently elevates the picture and makes it incredibly entertaining.  His send-up of Marlon Brando is far too ridiculous to be taken seriously, and yet it works flawlessly within the context of this motion picture.  Who knew that pairing a cheesy killer snake movie with a grossly exaggerated performance is actually a winning blueprint that serves up a plethora of thrills, chills, and chuckles?  Voight's Paul Serone sports a perpetual sneer, speaks in a mysterious accent, and ultimately winds up being about ten times as dangerous as the fearsome snake the picture is named after.  If it seems like I'm focusing this review almost entirely on Voight's histrionic efforts, that's because I feel that they probably should have called this one Paul Serone: The Movie.  Now, Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube are okay, and Eric Stoltz is rock solid in a smaller role, but they are merely footnotes in this film.  I gave the cinematography of Bill Butler a nod for good reason, and I also think that Luis Llosa did a fine job with the direction--though he clearly fares better with the exciting aspects of the picture than he does with his attempts to ratchet up the suspense.  Shoddy effects aside, there is a lot to like about Anaconda, but it is Voight's show through and through.  Dude devours scenery and totally overshadows everyone* he shares the screen with, to include any giant snakes in the mix.  Is Anaconda a good movie?  Eh, probably not.  Is it fun to watch?  Absolutely, and that's largely due to the presence of one sneering madman who overloads the proceedings with menace and charisma.

*Eric Stoltz actually holds his own with Voight, but sadly his character is off screen for most of the movie.

Final Grade: C

As a film, Anaconda is average at best, but Jon Voight makes it must-see entertainment.